How do you keep from getting frustrated?

I know I shouldn't complain because I am doing relatively well in my healing process. Still part of my incision open and needing to be packed, old stoma hole is closing - slowly mind you - but it is closing. My butt wound is still really annoying and sore. It will be four weeks on Monday since surgery. Stoma is amazing and sooooo cute! What a difference between my loop to this perfect little end ileo.

I am trying to be patient and gentle and rest and do all the things you are supposed to do while healing but I can't help but feeling this is taking an awfully long time.....

Any body else feel like this after surgery? I am so thankful I don't have to rush back to work or else I would be totally stressed out.

Trying to stay positive......

K

I think you get frustrated -- it's part of the experience. Having to feel positive all the time is a lot of pressure and not really reality.... so yes, you can feel good about your new stoma and also frustrated that it's taking more time than you like...

But as much as you can, feed the positive -- do things you like that you can do, be w/people you like, maybe try to find a new thing that's interesting that you can do (even if it's just binge watching a new TV show).

But don't feel like you're doing something wrong if sometimes it's negative.... there's a lot that just sucks about recovering from surgery, even if the surgery gives you your life back.

And yes, it can get so much better!

I remember feeling exactly the same way!!! Saying, it's been a month already, why do I still feel this way??? Wondering if I would ever feel great!!

When I expressed how I was feeling to my surgeon he sat down and said listen, you had major, major, major surgery and it will take a long time for your body to recover. But you will get there. Be patient and allow yourself the time to heal.

He was right! It did take time. It's hard to be patient when you feel like it's been long enough and you should be able to get up and go!! I totally relate to how you're feeling. But stop judging yourself day by day. Instead, do it week by week. You'll see that you are really improving.

In no time at all you will feel great! I am now 4 months post op and I feel incredible...no pain, tons of energy, and my recovery is becoming a distant memory. I love my life. And soon, you'll love yours. Give it the time you need, and deserve!!

xox
Caren

Larasmom, you left out a "major". He said it 3 times. Lol

Eva Lou used to make me cry, so happy to be able to do the same for you. Sending you big hugs.

Eva Lou you are probably right. My own routine will be good. House will be mine from 7:45 to 3. I am thinking I will try and do one short walk in the morning and another one to get the mail in the afternoon. Mom is going to go and do a huge grocery shop tomorrow so the house and freezer will be filled with things that are easy to pull together for the family. I figure if I can at least think of something for dinner they can finish it when they get home.

Thanks for the reassurance that I am not totally alone in feeling this way! I guess it will all heal in good time. Once the nurse stops coming and I am more healed, I think I will feel better.....follow up with the surgeon is November 4.

Larasmom- I drink at least one glass of red wine - Costa Rosa - a day! that helps with my routine!

Recovery is slow. What helped me was to get out of my house and get my mind off my butt. Any kind of distraction will do, volunteer work, walking, sitting in a park, going to the library, travel, etc.

Sue

I had this very same surgery 6 weeks ago. I went back to work 2 weeks ago half days working myself back into the routine. Staying busy but not overdoing it is key to recovery, well for me it was anyway. I still feel fatigued at times I'm only about 2 weeks ahead of you but I've found that each week I feel better and better. I also had my rectum sewn shut I wish I could offer some help for you in that department I was so worried about the surgery due to so many people having so much pain with the rectum however I've never had one twinge of pain I actually had to ask my surgeon if she really removed my rectum of course she did I guess I was just lucky with that. I've even walked a local fair. I did get scolded by stoma nurse but I just hate to sit still. just hang in there each day, week gets better and better.


Cindy

Ha! I thought maybe that was the start of a joke!! Cuz I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how not to get frustrated!!

I suppose it's really more of a question of how to deal with frustration, cuz I don't think anyone can escape it.

As for me, dealing with the frustration has many parts:

*sometimes it does mean a good cry or a limited "temper tantrum" in your mind. The reality is, it's not fair. You shouldn't have to deal with this. The other part of reality though, is that you do have to deal with it. So, when you need to, let those feelings out, and then move on.

*keep progress made and expected progress in mind. Hell, I'm still waiting for my surgery. I really understand the feeling of frustration very very well at this point in time. I try to remember that a year ago, things were a lot different. I had just told someone of my problem for the first time in my life (36 years of GI problems, kept secret), and was just beginning the wonderful world of scopes and doctors asking me about my poo habits. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt beyond hopeless and alone. Now, I am mentally much more accepting of it (well, at least I know it's not my fault and that it's a bodily function and I'm not alone.) Been thru a lot in this one year, and when the frustration hits hard, I think about my "journey" and that 6 months from now or so, things will be so much better. Sure, at times it seems like it will take an eternity to get to surgery and get thru recovery, but I can't wait until pooping my pants is not even a possibility anymore. (TMI). I have things to look forward to. I know it will get better. I have hope.

But never compare yourself to others. As far as recovering from surgery, the timeline, etc, is just a very general thing, it gives you an idea of how a "textbook" case will go. We are all so different and will heal at our own pace. Yes, it sucks if we are the slower healers. Just try to avoid comparing your recovery to what the hospital brochure or the person next to you said will happen. Only compare you to you. Think about how much better you are doing today than 2 weeks ago, or whenever.

*sometimes it's with humor: I was on the phone with a friend the other night (toward the end of a "purge day" (think colonoscopy prep but totally incontinent and add in another 5 different laxatives, basically a bowel bomb)). So, I was very frustrated and in tears from just being so f-ing tired of this, when, in a totally serious voice, my friend says "Well, when your colon ain't rollin', it's gonna be upsetting." I'm not even sure of the second half of the sentence, I was busy laughing at her phrase "your colon ain't rollin'". I guess at times you have to just get creative and silly, because if you didn't laugh, you'd probably cry.

*my final "go to" for dealing with frustration is distraction & comfort: grab your pillow, a soft blanket, curl up on the couch or your favorite chair, and put in your favorite movie or read your favorite book. Sometimes the only way to get away from it is to avoid it or find a way to stuff it away for a while. Last night, ok, it was afternoon still, I put on comfy pjs, got my pillow and fleece blanket, and cuddled with my kitty while watching the movie "The Heat". The language in that movie is horrendous, but if you can get past that, the movie is hilarious! It's sorta just turning the focus on you, what you want to do, what you like, what makes you feel good. Soon enough you will be able to go back to work, and after a while, you might be wishing you could just have some time off to relax, etc. Ok, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear (I'm saying "just enjoy the time off while you have it", and you're sitting there thinking "I would kill to be able to go out and do things or be healthy enough to go back to work!). Sorry.

I also keep a list next to my bed, or wherever i am camped out, of "fun things to do" that I want to do when I am healthier. Everything from a long walk in my neighborhood to take a vacation in Maine.

Ok, everyone calm down. I'm finally going to shut up. Sorry that got so long, guess I have saved up my thoughts on frustration for a while. Only left my apartment once since Thurs, just to run an errand. Little bit of frustration been going on here, but got it under control.

Happy Healing!!