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Ladies I need your help. .lads you may help too! ;)

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Ostomies
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Posted 9/13/2015 7:23 AM (GMT 0)
So I'm struggling a little. .

I've known this guy for many years and recently we reconnected.
He knows I have had surgery but I haven't told him what kind nor my condition (Ulcerative Colitis).
He wants to come down and stay soon though.. I'm just way too nervous to even see the guy as I know what he'll end up wanting to cuddle etc etc.

I'm having reversal surgery sometime next year and will find out in December as to what dates.. I'm so tempted to just put off seeing him until my second surgery but at the same time don't want to lose him to someone else.

Help!

P.S I know I shouldn't be this way but I'd just like your advice as to if you've been in this boat before. I love my bag atm! I'll actually be a little sad when it goes.
Posted 9/13/2015 10:31 AM (GMT 0)
Don't you think he's curious as to what kind of surgery you've had? Tell him! If he isn't compassionate and accepting of what you're going through, perhaps he isn't the guy for you! NEXT! Lol.
Posted 9/13/2015 10:57 AM (GMT 0)
In my opinion anyone who is worth keeping around wouldn't care in the least what surgery you had....bag or no bag. So I say go for it and see what happens. That way you'll know one way or the other. :)
Posted 9/13/2015 11:37 AM (GMT 0)
This might make you feel better: I had my previous ostomy for fifteen years and in that time, I had many meaningful relationships. I even had my first time with the bag! It didn't matter to any of them at all. Hell, half of them were more concerned for my comfort than their own. He'll probably be the same way, especially if you've known each other for awhile. Your well-being and flourishing health will matter way more than how it looks on you. Trust me. ^-^
Posted 9/13/2015 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
Yep, if he doesn't want you with your ostomy bag, he's not worth it. I was already married when I had my emergency surgery and it's been a long three years for both of us. With my revisions surgery last month on my butt wound, he has been doing the wound care.....now that's love. I can't wait to be healed and better....

Good luck.
Posted 9/13/2015 10:59 PM (GMT 0)
Ok. Here it goes from a male's point of view:
1. I totally agree with all of the above statements - they are all so right.
2. You are living your life , so enjoy it without ever having to live it walking on egg shells especially from a guy and wondering what he thinks. Be honest and communicate. It will all work out.
Posted 9/13/2015 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
It's probably a good way of finding out if he's a "keeper".
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