Bella--I did have the barium enema before my reversal many years ago. It isn't a big deal for most people and it doesn't hurt. I did have perianal fistulas which made things difficut, but not impossible. Don't worry too much about it and like sfgiantsjo said, you just get up and go to the bathroom...there was a toilet attached to the xray room at my hospital:) The reversal, on the other hand, didn't work for me...I now have a permanent ileo and very happy!
As far as your skin goes, is the opening on your wafer too big? Do you use paste or a seal? Stomas change size when they are new and that could be causing the raw skin. Even after 8 years+ with my stoma, my skin is in excellent shape...Even if you only have your ileo for a few weeks more, get the opinion of your stoma nurse...don't live in pain.