backing out

well I start the clear liquids on sat and sunday then the surgery is on monday for the total procto col and ileo I have only had a blood transfusion once this week so i dont seem to be loosing it as fast as usually so i had a fleeting tought of backing out of the surgery but then i thought if i had to have chemo and more radiation then i would be right back in the same boat as i am now...and the dr did say that the only think that is gonna fix me is to get it all taken out...sooooo i guess thats what i will do...wish me luck everyone...i will tell you all how the surgery went as soon as i am home and able to log back on

i know how scary it is when you get close to the surgery date. But just keep thinking, i will be better, i will be better!
i will keep you in my thoughs and let us know good luck