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Just venting..

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Posted 1/3/2011 5:29 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry I Havnt been on for a while, I've been busy with things and trying to keep life in order. Lately I Havnt been doing too well "mentally" I was doing well and everything but I started having minor cramps and alot of movement of what I guess is gas. It feels almost like when I had uc at times when the pain came every so often. Well the I feel like I'm back to stage one. For 3 years I had to dead with uc and it wasnt anything I want to really remember. When I had my ostomy that was the best i could remember feeling for a long time. I loved life but now I feel like im back where I started. Waking up in the middle of nights having gas/cramps and not being able to be with friends. I get to see them every few weeks but I don't feel normal. I'm stuck at home all the time and do school work. My parents say I get to play xbox but I'd rather be normal and be able to go places without having to run to the bathroom. I went to the mall with a few friends and I used the bathroom 3 times over the course of 3 hours.

I just wish I could go back to having the ostomy but I don't want to let my parents down I've came this far but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere now. And my doctors said how I'm going poo and feeling will continue for a few months to a year. They don't know I wish I could have the ostomy back. I'm thinking about visiting a mental therapist.. I don't want my parents to know how I feel because I know it will upset them and I don't think they will understand.
Posted 1/3/2011 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry....I did not read this post before I answered your other one.

I think it is a great idea to talk to a therapist. They can help you put your thoughts into the proper perspective and aid you in working through them. I absolutely think that you should talk to your parents and let them know how you are feeling. The best thing would be if you could all go to the therapist together. I don't know your parents but by what you have said in the past I think that you are not giving them enough credit. I am sure they love you so much and it would upset them to think you were struggling through this by yourself.

I also know that numerous people (including Suebear) needed some antidepressants for a while after their surgeries. I think this is really common. Hopefully some of them will be along soon and can give you some insight. You might want to talk to your family doctor about this.

You also have to remember that surgery was not that long ago. You are still going to have up and down days. On the down days just remember that a good day is just around the corner and those days will become better and better. That being said I also feel that you should let your surgeon know what is going on. Dillon had pain, on and off, for a few months at the site where the stoma used to be. Our surgeon said that was due to swelling at the join site. He now is doing so well....these days will come for you as well.
Posted 1/3/2011 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
I feel your pain David.  I am almost 3 months post takedown and I am struggling to achieve normalcy.  My UC lasted for 8 years and I made the decision to have the surgery to improve my quality of life.  Even though I may eventually had no choice but to do surgery, I could have held off.  My condition now is worse than any UC I ever experienced and it's been tough.  I keep hoping I will get better soon but after 2 surgeries and 4 months of recovering, you get beat down.  Keep your head up and your hope up and keep on keeping on.  That's all we can do I guess....
Posted 1/3/2011 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
That's kind of the tricky thing, the ostomy gives you your life back and then when you have the reversal you have an entirely new recovery to deal with. I think it's even harder for you David, because you really wanted to keep your ostomy and your parents were opposed. I agree with Collicat, it might be time to see a therapist and deal with your current feelings as well as the trauma you had leading up to surgery. Antidepressants have helped many of us bridge that gap and get through the hard times.

Sue
Posted 1/4/2011 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Gosh i really get where you are coming from  (although in a different way being the opposite to what you had).... i also felt at my very best with an ileostomy ... and i am struggling to cope with feeling like i am back to square one again...like suebear says it is recovering from a new type of surgery. Yeah i have been totaly depressed.

however.... my surgeon said the body needs some time of adjusting - even up to a year.... though he did stress it is the individual's experience and quality of life and thereofre  a personal thing to elect going back to having an ileostomy... he said he doesnt want me to be in pain.

Therefore like myself (not sure how long you have had the takedown) do give it some time and then come to a decision.  i really feel you need your parents on side to give you support here.... why should they be upset?? After all it is your happiness and quality of life at stake here!  That should be of the utmost importance.  They dont get it really - of course you can play your xbox but socialising is what any healthy young lad is wanting to do of course...At the end of the day it is your body and life and i really hope that you will get support you deserve.

anyhow i do hope it doesnt come to that for you or myself.... it is a waiting game i know - but at least there is an option if all else fails... hang in there.

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