Step 2 finished, still in hospital, hope I'm not makeing a million typing mistakes

First of all althoug i didn't read the psts, just glancing tells me that Bluegrass is doing great and i#M ´glad about that.

I had my jpouch formed and got a new loop stoma last friday morning. It went well but I haven'T bounced back into operation as quickly as the other op last april. This time however I did figure out a few things "that they don't bothr telling you abougt beforehand" (fluids coming out my butt because they removed the rectum). The staff is really wonderful otherwise and resonsive.

Has anyone had any experience with post-op delerium in non-senior patients? I had an 8-hour long epidosde Tuesday night, in wich I ws too restless, couldn't sleep, tore all the tubes out (notmy bag) including my spinal drip, said very very insulting things in english to head doctors (one came next day and very humorously described how I called her a bimbo, which is probably the first time I've ever used the word), fought off two extremely strong sumo-type guards (I am tiny), and told the male nurse that I could see through everything and that the hospital had been turned into a fascist Ikea. I remember everything quite clearly, and that I could clearly differentiate between what what happening, dreaming and it all feeling like being in the wrong movie. My surgeon showed up when it was all over and seemed a bit pissed off at me, to say the least ; Ithink he was operating all night and wanted to go home finally at 6 am.

I'm fine now and everyone has been great tome and making jokes about it, and sort of somber-eyed remarks about tearing out the spinal drip and as long as I can move my legs fine, well then .... I'm looking at the black and blue marks and abrasions where I tried to escape being gently but firmly tied down to a bed, and seeing this gaping discrepancy between who I am and how I behaved that night.

Today they condensed all surgery patients onto two wards for xmas staff so I've been moved. Am not in an real pain any more and getting a kick out of eating astronaust food.

hugs and kisses from camp ...

Hi Bluegrass, yes, thanks they saidsoeomething abut counseling next week (am also absentminded) and that it was a combo between different drugs and a slight ambien dependency I owned up to. So not cold turkey now but I'll taper off like with pred, and really do need to seek shrinking with womoene decent because I have not been able to relax after work. So lets just say my imagination ran away with me that night and I cam up with something silly like fascist Ikea, which isn't so far off, because here they talk about the living room station, the lamp and lighting station, the bedding station etc., and in the hospital I took off on my adventure from station nr. 10a and landed in constant surveillance station, which was exactly what I needed. The first room I shared with a woman who was trying to get her husband to accept that there is ver little time left, and althought I left her alone iwth her fajmily the first night, I couldn't after that. She had family from morning til late at night and the husband made noises like I should piss off. I was being more tolerant than I actually am because of their heightened enotional needs, but I never got a momoment of peace for myself and apparently all that took its toll on me as well.
So surveillance meant a private room with a young, extremely cute and bright med student who just sat in his chair and got up to ge me tea, told me jokes, laughted at mine and generally was just good, non-pressure company.
Am sort of in between watning to start getting some work done here and knwoing I cannot really concentrate enough to form paragraphs and such. Anyway thaks for reminding me its chanukah. I'd fogotten, probably because my appetite is compeltely shut down. I am getting two small cups of cream of wheat gruel and two little things of astronaut energy fluid. Not sure what would happen if I smelled latkes!
Hodaya, do you want to describe some holiday food to us?

That's the thing with hospital rooms. The other perosns's situation can relly help you relitivize things, but you have to be very careful about tprotecting your own privacy and making sure no one is over rumpling your needs. It ws hard, a man just learned he's about to lose his wife, but at the same time, I have to make sure I have an atmosphere I can recover in, but kept my mouth shut because I knew there was no way these people would be able to consider my needs for 1/8 second.

Blue your experiencw with not recoignhzing the bathrroom sounds slike a really watered down version of my night in **** ikea.

Anyway, the pain killers are generally giving me mood swings, but a friend will arrivesoon with an obnoxious humour and make things more "normal."

good to hear from you B'Derech! glad surgery went well and you're ok! i didn't have the delirium thing. sounds like a pretty nasty thing glad you didn't harm your self or anything. but i've heard of things like that and it can happen, i think due to side affects of the anasthesia (sp?) and drugs plus all the emotional stress. i did have a break down once, after 2 weeks in the hospital, when they said i'm going home and then my wound started to pour lots and lots of infection and i had to stay... i borke down. couldn't tolerate after telling me all is well and i can go home, suddenly not. anyway i addapted very quickly and it wasnt a big deal after all.

counsling (if you find a good therapist) can always be a good thing after going through surgeries like these and hospitalizations etc. if i had money i'd go.

roomates in the hospital is a complicated thing, cuz on top of trying to get along, we are also sick. not a simple situation.

i LOVE chanukah's food!!! we eat a kind of donuts, but not the regular ones you know, a much better and yummier type of donuts and also kind of potato pancakes which is so yummy. but this year i don't seem to have much appetite and havn't touched any of those so far. i usually can't resist Chanukah's donuts. but this year all i want is pickles. that's what i mostly crave lately. go figure.

hang in B'Derech! wishing you a speedy recovery and a new best start on life!

happy Chanukah blueglass!! good to hear you're getting better

love and hugs to you all ♥♥♥