since having my surgery i seem to be very broody

i had my surgery this time last year, do to uc or crohn's they still don't know. I had to go the hospital this week to say if i want my reversal done, although I have postponed it till next year. The main reason for me doing this is the fertility issues. Children have always been in my plan, and I don't ever want to risk that chance. Although I seem to be extremely broody at the moment, my boyfriend is an amazing man, although he doesn't want to have children yet, he's 31 and I'm 23 I can see that the situation isn't perfect but I don't think it ever is. Its causing me a lot of upset and him a lot of guilt as he feels I'm putting off the op just to wait for him, I guess I am to be honest. Sorry I am rambling now. I was just wondering if this is something that has happened to anyone else, or is it just me ??

Many thanks for any comments

Melski

Melski, that's a very hard situation. One thing I wondered is how in depth you've discussed fertility w/you docs. Probably you have.... but are there backup options, like freezing some eggs? If you had the reversal lapro, would that increase your chances of avoiding fertility issues? I don't know enough about this to know what the specific issues are, but hopefully you do or can find out.

I have not been in a similar situation, although I have certainly had other difficult relationship issues. I wonder if it might be helpful to get some couple's counseling w/your boyfriend.... just seems like such a hard position for both of you ... no easy answers, but so critical that you maintain communication and connection.

Best of luck.

bad area guy - he is so amazing bless him. I just kinda don't no where to go from here I know where I want to be but seems so hard to get there.

Blueglass, UC free- I've spoke in depth to my consultant, when they first said I could have the J-pouch the first question (over 6months ago) was about this, he said that as it seems to be highly important to me as it is too some he would suggest to have children first. I then made an appointment at my nearest maternity hospital, the women I spoke to had know idea what I was on about and said she didn't know of any risks, after half an hour of a mini break down the head gynaecologist was called to sort out the hysterical young girl ( I guessing that how they saw it lol looking back that's how I see it), she explained to me that the risks are from infection or scar tissue. She said that any op in that area has risks I think its something like 20% but they way I see it, Their are not many people who have been comply fine then a month later have a colostomy bag, that 20% seems like a lot to me. She mentions have my eggs frozen and then having IVF although in the area I am I would only get help on the NHS once and if that didn't work I'd have to try and find like 5grand to even try again :( I spoke to him today regarding couple's counselling he didn't seem too over joyed at the idea lol, although I think I will probably do better to do a little research then bring it up again.

Thanks for your comment's

I'm not to sure even what the difference is to be honest he has never mentioned any other surgery apart from J-pouch, although I am about to Google it and will mention it too him. Having spoken to the Gyn lady I would have to be trying for at least year before they could even test me to see if I'm okay, I wouldn't want to drag it on like that, although I guess I am anyway :S Yeah I have read so many facts and figures that all seem to suite the opinion of who ever is writing the piece, its rather confusing

Melski, it'd be j pouch surgery either way, laproscopic is one particular technique for doing surgery. Traditionally, the surgery is done with a big open incision and the organs are handled, which often leads to scar tissue.

Laparoscopic surgery is where the surgeon only makes tiny holes and then uses an instrument with a camera on it to move around inside you. I had my permanent ileo done this way, and the surgery takes longer, but the recovery is often easier. I have four tiny scars the size of tic tacs and that's it (except for the butt wound). The surgeon took my colon out through the hole that eventually became my stoma.

You obviously need a surgeon who is trained in lapro to have that kind of surgery. Any extra risk of it comes from being under the anesthesia longer, which is probably not a problem for you, as you're young (unless you have some kind of additional heart or lung condition).