who would say such a thing?

huh, what would your friend have done? Did you ask her that?

Rosemary, I am not joking: you do not have energy for this kind of crap, nor for getting upset about it. You cannot afford to have anything less than very, very positive peole around you. This may sound cruel and pompous, but this is a time in your life in which you need to turn your back on the people who say negative, half-negative things, or make remarks that show they have no idea, or do not take your illness seriously. I know we all have a lot to say about what people do when we become ill, and about what happens to friendships. In my reflection on all I've been through, I realize now that there were people I had to push away, whom I may see again later. But not yet. So push these remark-makers away from you, at least for the time being. When you are less vulnerable and more certain about your health, then you can deal with them again. We have to protect ourselves socially because we have less energy for fending off the stupidity that is normally flying around on any average day.