Funny conversation

I was just talking to my friend on the phone a little bit ago and we had a conversation I thought y'all might find amusing.
A bit of backgroud, so it makes sense. She has been having GI problems for 2 years not, lots of urgency and D, she had a diagnosis, it was obviously not right since she still has the problem. She went for a scope two years ago and found out last week that the scope was not really any good because 3/4 of her colon was still coated in poop. So she's going back in a few weeks for another one.
She knows about my bag, a few years ago when she got sick she was very worried about what might happen to her and made a comment about having to have surgery. And I told her, I wanted her to feel better, to know that if she did end up with surgery it wasn't the end of the world.

So we were talking tonight and she was telling about how she was on vacation and how she had taken some medicine she had orignally been given that worked, but made it where she couldn't go at all. Anyway, she says "Do you fart?"
And i busted out laughing because it was so weird, I thought she was asking me if I just farted, and I thought how would she even think she knew that? So i said, "what" She's like "do you fart now, or do you not" I said "well not really" So she says "do you not need to or you just can't" I said well there isn't really anything for it to come out of. I had never given her the exact details of the surgery. I said that I didn't fart like she thinks but that in the morning especially my stomach can be kind of grumbly and loud that she would hear it when we went to Nashville on our trip in a few weeks. So she says that i will probably wake up to her laying on my stomach trying to hear it!
So we talked a little more and I think mainly to ease her fears she was asking me questions. She said she thought about how I don't have these problems like she has anymore and how nice that must be and she said she knew it must have downfalls (Surgery) i said that I hadn't found any so far. And she says that I could get infections. I said not really there isn't any thing to get infected. So she says, "well it must come out somewhere can't that get stuff in it?" I laughed and said yeah but it's not just open and hanging out! It's covered up. So she says, "I assume it goes into a container of some type, possibly a bag. But don't you worry that it will fall out?" I said no not really it closes up. then she asked me how often I had to take it off I told her about once a week. I said but I had to empty it more often, so she says, so you just unscrew it off you and pour it out? I tried to explain but eventually told her i couldn't really explain this so she said she would look at a picture.
She then asked me where it was on my body and I told her it was on my stomach, and she said, "but where i can never see it! I've seen you in a bathing suit and I have looked for it!"
I said now whenever you see me you are just going to try to find it aren't you? She said yeah she was.
I just had to laugh because she was trying to ask the questions without saying things outright, like she wasn't sure exactly how to ask without offending me. I know she was asking because she is worried that she will need surgery, I think where she's at right now she would be all for it!
Anyway I just wanted to share, and anyone who is reading this who is worried about the bag showing, obviously it doesn't since she has been looking!

Too funny! I agree, I showed my new stoma (in a clear bag no less) to my close friends when they visited the hospital my first surgery.

Everyone who *hasn't* seen my stoma has expressed most of those silly questions... my sister-in-law was SHOCKED that I was going back to work while I had the ostomy because she thought I needed to do a full appliance change every time I went to the bathroom. After I explained that wasn't the case she still said "but you'll have to use the handicap stall right?" LOL. My boyfriend originally thought I had some kind of valve implanted and that my bag *screwed* on to it, hahaha.

I'm too blunt to answer all those questions, I would just have lifted my top and shown her.

I did find this pretty amusing reading it at work. It's amzing how many people ask you really repetetive questions and they always seem more embarrassed asking them than I do answering them. I got bored of people asking questions and seeing that look of curiosity in people's faces when talking to me about it, so now I just get it out show everyone how it works. I empty it in front of my mates with the toilet door open and laugh at their reaction when they start cursing the smell wafting up their nostrils. I can honestly say that all my family and friends have accepted my bag as if it were there own and they are no more embarrassed seeing the bag than I am shoing it to them.

Hahaha, Bless her! Nice thats she's interested in how it all works well at least she knows you don't have to unscrew it lol!! x

I have my brother staying with us. He knows I've had an operation, but I don't think he even knows I have a bag. I did think of telling him, but I could not think of a good reason of why he needed to know this quite personal and intimate fact about me.

Can't imagine dating and how I'm gonna tell somebody, tbh. Hate my body enough, this just compounds the hate I have for my body.

I don't have friends and family like you people do, I don't have people that ask me cute and funny questions or, indeed, ask me anything. Just a boring and dysfunctional family with a load of boring and dysfunctional people, including me, the most boring and dysfunctional of them all.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 8/14/2013 1:42:51 PM (GMT-6)

The boot??? Please tell me that means something else in england than it does in the US...
I was in the library when I read that actually and everyone probably thought I was crazy.
My pic is on the photobucket site if you want to see me or my email is undermy prfoile.

I am also completely open about my ileostomy and how my body works now. If anyone wants to know, I will tell them anything. Funny thing is, not too many people ask questions, I think they are worried about offending me somehow! There was a day recently when I was talking about how nice it is to get a bath/shower on change day, with no pouch or wafer on. At that point a friend said "now that you are feeling better, I feel like I can ask you a couple questions." Those questions were "do you have to wear the bag ALL the time, and I know you "go" into the bag now, but do you still sometimes "go" the normal way too?" Not terribly crazy questions, and I was more than happy to answer!

Haha, us English have boots as shoes as well, that's a woman thing which is why I didn't think about that.
I totally understand the whole privacy thing though, I wouldn't necessarily just announce the the world I was having a poo (although we do/did find amusement in taking photos of our poo'd and sending them as picture messages to our group of mates, we used to have a competition on who could manage the most horrific poo's).
God I sound like a horrific man lol