Are you still getting IV hydration? If so, that is probably why you're peeing so much that you always need to pee before you need to have a BM. I was peeing (and therefore having a BM) about
12 times a day in the hospital until they discontinued by IV, then things slowed down to a more normal pace.
I think that most women with j-pouches will have a BM whenever they pee -- it's really hard, for me at least, not to relax everything in that area. If I go too long without doing either one that's a good sign for me that I'm dehydrated; if I am only going to the bathroom because I need to pee (not because I feel a BM urge), that's my sign that whatever I'm eating is agreeing with my pouch and I'm well hydrated.
Sorry you had a longer stay than expected but hopefully it will be your last for a long time
Good luck and keep posting!