Dear All,
My name is Wendy (aka Tolstoy 123) and I am a complete Newbie to this Forum and an not sure I have the right to start a new topic but I am so desperate that I thought I would give it a try...
I had my colostomy surgery in May 2012 and named my Stoma "Hank". The two years he and I were together I have to say were rough at best, and with my IBS, Diverticulitis, Colitis, Gastritis and overall Anxiety issues I had more problems that I will bore you with on this post. Last fall Hank herniated and I had several months where he was growing and growing and growing (I looked pregnant on that side of my body!) and causing all kinds of issues. On Christmas Eve 2013 I was rushed into surgery with a blockage and they supposedly fixed my hernia. For about
2 weeks Hank was normal sized and then he decided he liked the extra weight and started growing again! Well, to make a long story short I got C-Diff and was on Vanco for 9 weeks and was sick as a dog (and lost 30 pounds). During a colonoscopy in which my new GI doctor took the time to take a peek at my rectum, he found "calcified feces" that remained from the original surgery. He was appalled... For 2 years I told every doctor I saw that I had pains in my rectum and no one would check to see if anything was amiss. I recall yelling at an ER Doctor when he flat out refused to exam my rectum that I could not believe many patients wanted this done, but I was one who did! Still nothing. My gastro to me it was in my head. My physician told me it could be spasms and I should consider Botox injections! My therapist told me is was "phantom pain". Sorry to go on and on...
Finally, after being rushed to another hospital for yet another abdominal blockage, I found a new surgeon who said it was time to reverse the colostomy and say Good Bye to Hank. Two days later I was in surgery and woke up without a bag! I thought this was a new beginning but in truth it has been the start of a new phase of Hell for me. Since the surgery (not one month ago exactly) I have been in horrific pain, had either terrible cramps, terrible gas, constipation or endless diarrhea. I am afraid to leave the house. It is 1 in the morning and I am still awake and don't see sleep coming for a while. In short, I feel worse than I did with the bag, and, as I said, that was pretty bad for the entire 2 years.
Please - if anyone reads this and can relate, has gone through something similar, could share their experience with me, or who would just let me cry on their shoulder, I would be eternally grateful. I will be glad to fill in the rest of the story and let you know exactly what has been happening, pre- and post- surgery. You can reply here, or you can email me at
[email protected] (I don't mind sharing my personal email address here, and will be glad to share my number in a one to one message). I am begging you - please help me. There are days I don't get out of bed except to run to the bathroom, and there are times I wish everything would just stop and I could end the suffering. My family does not know what to do with me anymore. My son is desolate because I am so depressed. And I feel like a worthless weight on all of their shoulders (the albatross ostomite!). No one seems to understand but my entire life revolves around my intestines and I am dead tired of this being the case.
Please, if anyone can find it in their heart to help me, please reach out... I will be eternally grateful to any and all.
All the best,
Tolstoy123
Post Edited (Tolstoy123) : 7/3/2014 5:40:06 PM (GMT-6)