New ostomy and depression

 Greetings,

I had been posting on the UC forum but since my surgery on Aug. 1, I guess it is time to move over to this forum. I had a complete procto-colectomy with an ostomy. The reason I had it was that high grade dysplasia was found in my colon in April. Up to that point, I had been living with UC.  I had ups and downs, but I was able to live a pretty normal life.  I had a career, family, and did what I wanted to do. Now my life is upside down!! I have an ostomy and will probably always have it because my rectum was removed also. Right after the surgery my friends hovered over me and helped me feel loved, but  they have moved on now.  My problem is depression.  How do you make yourself adjust?  I know some of you must have a sugestion or two.

 

NeNe205

like badbaggirl said, it's normal to have some depression, espceially since it's only been a little while since you had your surgery and you might still be having some pain and just now getting used to dealing with the mechanics of the bag. Also, since your life wasn't awful before, it may be harder for you.
But you did say you had some down times, there won't be anymore of those! no more meds, no more watching your diet, or wondering where the bathroom is! also, no more drinking that awful stuff for colonoscopies, and you said you had dysplasia, i think that means precancerous cells, and an ostomy, to me, would be much better than havign to go though chemo and all that. Plus, you have a few less areas to worry about getting cancer in, i know that sounds like a weird plus, but to me it is!
My life is back to normal, actually it's back to better than normal! before normal was miserable pain all the time, lots of meds, missing out on things. Now normal is workign without worry, eating what i want, when i want (although i do suggest you do not try pizza anytime soon, lol) going whereever i want, without a thought as to where a barthroom is.
Also, do like badbaggirl said(she gives good advice) and keep posting here and listening to positve stories, and go to support groups. ANd if you need those friends, call them, and tell them, they sound like they must be good friends to have been there for you, just ask them to hang around some.
hope things get better!

I'm going to have to agree with the above, and also add that you are already taking the necessary to steps to continue on with this new ostomy by seeking help from people who have been in your position. It's going to be OK!!!

Admittedly, I am one of "those" who have sought better living through chemistry, and take medication for my ups and downs. They help, but I also seek counsel with freinds, family, and an ostomy support groups which has made such a difference.

Give yourself time.

Thank ya'll . It is always easier to accept life changing situations when others have been there and are able to talk about their ostomies so matter of fact like.I guess I am just ashamed to admit I finally had to go through with the surgery.
When I visit my doctor in Birmingham next week, I'll ask for some medication to help me through the tough spots, even though I have never had to depend on that kind of medication before. I will be checking back with ya'll and try not to sound like a cry baby.
NeNe 205

Yep! You aren't alone. And you can cry. a couple of weeks after my surgery, my gastroenterologist said he wanted to see me in his office to get an idea how it was going. I should say at this point, he is a wonderful man. Last year at a gala for CCFA, he was voted Doctor of the year. In his acceptance speech he came out of the closet and admitted he had Crohn's disease. I had been seeing him for the last 7 years and didn't know it! Sooooo, you can imagine my surprise when I was crying my eyes out when he came in the room and ever so slightly lifted his lab coat and joked "I'll show you mine if you show me yours". Yep. I saw the top of his bag. I would have NEVER known it. He is slim, wears tailored clothes and I had NO idea. I do have to say I kept on the Ativan for about 3 months for the anxiety but have gotten off of that. helped me get through my fear of social events with my ostomy. But he did tell me there is NOTHING wrong with feeling SO sad about it. Whats sad is when you can't get over it. Like they say, you don't HAVE to like it, you just have to live with it. How you decide to is up to you. I will not say you will be fine. I hated that. It will take time. Just weeks ago I finally had an intimate moment with my partner I was so ashamed of my new body. Wasn't mind blowing, earth shattering, train going through the tunnel (toot toot!) but was the most intimate thing I have ever shared with anyone EVER. The willingness to expose my biggest fear with someone got me over the hurdle. I can tell you this because it's still so fresh to me, and sometimes still very painful emotionally. You are still the same lovable you, you just don't know it yet.

[quote= I don't think anyone will tell you that their life long dream was to have a bag..........

believe it or not, i had a friend who used to joke way back in the day, before my surgery, about having an ostomy (we did not know they were called that then, but still). He and I used to love going out to eat together, or just filling up on beer....he used to joke that restaurants should all have a little custom drain line under the table you could hook up to, and that we should all get valves and we could just connect a hose from our valves to the drain and keep eating forever....just to enjoy all that flavor....(no, he did not have a eating disorder, just a strange sense of humor!)

after my surgery I called him and told him i finally got the "upgrade"

it's is true, it is harder for me to feel full though after getting the ileostomy....everything comes out within a few hours of eating....