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Parkinsons and young Child in Family

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Posted 10/4/2006 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Greetings!

I just wanted to hear from any of you who are suffering with Early Onset Parkinson's and have young children in the family.  I found out in January that I have Parkinson's, and just recently we have had a foster child placed in our home.  We have been trying to adopt for many years and know that foster care often leads to adoption so we were willing to try this route.  I have been so excited about having a child in our lives, but now that I am living with the daily stress I find myself exhausted.  I also find that my patience and general feeling of wellbeing are often stretched to the limit.  In the past few days I seem to be developing some depression issues as well.  I should be VERY HAPPY!  Our foster child is not two years old yet, and is constantly on the go and has presented us with some challenging behavior issues.  I truly believed that I was up to the challenge of parenting in spite of my Parkinson's, but now I am concerned about what long-term effects this may have on me, my husband, and my health.  I am so busy that I don't have the time to take care of myself as I should be doing and my symptoms seem to be increasing rapidly even though I have been working with my doctor to keep them under control by increasing my medication. 

Can anyone out there who has young children tell me of their experiences?  Did you too notice an increase in symptoms, and do you find yourself short on patience, and sometimes angry for no reason? 

At this point I am wondering if taking on a foster child, especially one so young, is in the best interest of all parties concerned.  Although, I truly wish that things would settle down and my "happy" to be a mom feelings will return I don't want to wreck my body and have nothing left to give to my husband and extended family.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

photonut

Posted 10/4/2006 7:13 PM (GMT 0)

just wanted to give you some insight on the difficulties that we have experienced since my husband was diagnosed with parkinsons 2 years ago- he is now 47, this used to be the most laid back even tempered man that you could imagine- we have a 12 year old daughter and his patience has diminished rapidly with her, he is very short tempered with her and i feel that this is not fair to her at all, at times he is almost childlike with her as far as arguing with her over very petty things. he also now has psychotic depression with hallucinations . i truly believe that if a person has a choice to raise a child with disease or not - then i myself would opt for the not-being fair to yourself and the child. there are many many challenges raising a child that can be very exaperating!!!!!!!! THEN PARKINSONS TO TOP IT OFF!!!!! NOT GOOOD.

JULES

Posted 10/4/2006 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Photonut,
Welcome to the forum.
I have a young daughter here at home. I guess she’s not that young anymore,14. She was only 4 when I was dx’ed with PD. She has pretty much grown up with Dad having PD. Like Jules said, there are many many challenges raising a child that can be very exasperating!!! My wife and I knew it would be hard but what else could we do? I’ve tried very hard to make her life as “normal” as possible for her. I’m sure I’ve disappointed her at sometime or another because of my PD. I’ve always tried to go out and do things with her, no matter how I was feeling. There have been many times I didn’t know if I was going to make it back home or not.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, as long as there is love, the child will do just fine. Kids adapt to “unusual” situations a lot better than most adults. I’m not saying it will be easy. Both you and the child have to work at it.
Shakey1

Post Edited (Shakey1) : 10/5/2006 4:24:35 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/5/2006 2:46 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Jules and Shakey 1 for the replies! 

At this point we are trying to decide if we move forward with doing foster care, or if we stop.  I definately want to do what is in the best interest of the child.  I appreciated the comments that both of you had to offer.  Shakey 1, I too agree that children are resilient and if you give them plenty of love, they can adjust more easily to life challenges such as dealing with a chronic disease.  However, for me the question becomes, should I ask a foster child to cope with my disease, when the child could be placed into another foster home with "normal - healthy" parents?  Jules, I was especially interested in your comment about your husband having less patience with your daughter since he has been diagnosed.  I, like you stated your husband to be, used to be the most patient person; especially with children.  Now I find myself struggling.  I am not sure how much of my impatience has to do with the challenging issues that come with being a foster parent and how much could come from the overall frustration one who suffers from Parkinson's feels just trying to cope with daily life.  I know things I used to do and take for granted, I often struggle with now.  Like beating an egg, brushing my teeth, or tucking in my shirt. 

So, I ask for prayer that God will give me the wisdom to make the best possible decision for the interest of the child to be served.

Thanks to everyone on this forum.  You are a great resource, and support!

photonut

 

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