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Angry with PD - don't want!

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Posted 1/5/2007 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
I know that I have only recently been diagnosed and am in early stages of coming to terms with PD.  But as the days go on I roller coaster from "I will LIVE with this" and feeling strong to days like today where I was feeling really awful physically.  So tired....and depressed...that I'm now screaming " I DON'T WANT THIS DISEASE".  Bit irrational as there's little I can do about this.

How do you get from roller-coasting to steady 'getting on with life'?

I want to feel like I'm bravely dealing with it.  But when I feel physically awful I just get SO angry and rather self-pitying (which is really not a good thing) 

I just feel so shocked I have a progressive degenerative disease.

So even though I feel like this I'd still like to Thank You all for your replies last year and to wish you a good new year.

Girlirish

Posted 1/5/2007 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
Wish you the best with the challenge that life threw your way.It is normal to be mad,and I know I was when I went thru the classic stages of denial then mad then acceptance.Remember the now famous slogan I have pd it doesn't have me.We who suffer with pd look forward to a cure,and carryon with exercise,activity,and meds,and most important of all a positive attitude.Stay well,and we are here for you.Ed

Posted 1/6/2007 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
Girlish,

Yekkimo really knows what he's talking about. There is also a website that can give you some insight into your feelings and help you understand what you are going through.

Coping with losses

Knowing this stuff and learning to accept it and live with it are two different things and take time. Living with a chronic disease can make you treasure your good days so very much more. You can learn to be kinder to yourself and less demanding. You can choose where to spend your energy for the things that matter most. Best of all, you can learn from others and help them in return. I'm not trying to sound all nicey-nicey and say that this is a gift but chronic diseases certainly have a way of showing us our priorities.

Take care.
Posted 1/8/2007 1:31 PM (GMT 0)

Girlirish,

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time.  I was put on Lexapro a couple months ago and it evened my day out. Good luck Talk to your doctor.

Irishgramp

Posted 1/8/2007 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your support. I have written to Neurologist explaining how I feel. I see on 29th Jan so maybe will start some medication.

I can't go on like this.

Girlirish
Posted 1/9/2007 1:56 AM (GMT 0)

Girlirish, I was diagnosed with PD 5 1/2 years ago and often think I'm still in denial. One thing that has helped me cope is getting involved in PD things. I started a young onset PD support group. I also am involved with Parkinson's Action Network,  PAN, who does advocacy for people with Parkinson's. PAN has a Forum in Washington,DC when we visit our Congressmen and Senators and explain why we need more funding and research for PD.

The reason I'm telling you this is because I feel there is a reason I have PD. I need to use my skills to make a difference. That can mean different things to different people. Maybe you have a talent or interest that you can use to also make a difference for other people. You'll feel better in return. Something to think about.

Posted 1/9/2007 12:46 PM (GMT 0)
Lizzy,Good thoughts for us all.Thankyou.Your efforts will make a difference for those of us with PD.I think we should all focus on what we can do ,and not what we can't do.Somedays it is real hard to do this,and I know this but you got to try.God bless you all and stay well.Ed
Posted 1/9/2007 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
I wrote my story of diagnosis for the UK PD association, they were asking for them. It helped to get stuff on paper. They rang to ask if I was happy to be contacted during Parkinson's awareness week, I said YES. I really want to be part of that week.

Now I'm going to enter the Mervyn Peake awards 2007 see: www.parkinsons.org.uk/mervynpeake (there is an international competition too) This is an arts award for the PD Calender for 2008. I'll try photography.

At the moment I have a dire cold so maybe contributing to low mood.

Thanks everyone.

Girlirish
Posted 1/9/2007 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Girlirish,
A big happy new year to you ,iknow it can and will happen for you. Recently i have been realy down in the dumps and feeling just the way you describe, i felt close to screaming point some days .My pdns nurse tweaked up my Mirapexin and it has worked wonders.Ok , yesterday was a bad day but today i have been on top of the world and still am. Please believe me , you will have many good days too and hopefully , like mine, they will outnumber the bad ones.I don't know if what i say will help you, but on my bad days and my legs won't work i sit in my chair and go down memory lane. I used to be a professional dance teacher with my husband , so in my mind i put on my prettyest dancing gear and off we go.....it's wonderful.Sometimes i think it's the best meds you can take.Try it my dear and i pray it will help you too.. Just think....I wonder where my memory lane will take me today.Oh i bet you are in for some wonderful surprises.Good luck and God bless..
Grace
Posted 1/9/2007 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Grace. Talking about memory lane....I did think that now I've decided to give up work I will have the time to put my photo albums in order. Perhaps do some things I really like....other than work.

Girlirish
Posted 1/11/2007 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Girlirish, good for you , the photo albums are a good start for ,<memory lane> keep going and good luck. Keep smiling.

Grace
Posted 1/24/2007 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Anger is an important stage in the acceptance process. Don't fight it. and don't let people tell you to "save your energy or any of the things that other people use to try to keep your anger from getting to them. It's not a fun disease. It is really a pain. Say so. Rail away at any target you wish to. By this I mean rail away at your genetic predisposition, or at the creator but not at your kids, they are already feeling guilty.
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