Hi ms corky, I don't know how to respond to your predicament but I will give it a go too. I have read reports of associated gambling increase with pd meds but I don't know. I am what could be called a regular punter having a few bets each week on the horses at the local betting shop where I live. I have the same number of bets each week and I see it as paying for my entertainment as I put my bets on and go home to watch it on tv.It's my Saturday afternoon relaxation. There are now electronic roulette machines which are established in the shops also. I can see how easily it is to slip from a few bets on the nags to chasing greater winnings on the wheel and from there chasng ones losses. I know how it made me feel the fisrt time I used the wheel and I decided that I couldn't afford to lose what I was putting in and gave it the big E. I got away lighlty. I don't knwo how deep you are in nor do I want to, but I suspect it is pretty deep to air here.
The difference between you and I is that you live alone and i have the anchor of family forcign me not to folllow my pleasure urges.I have no doubt, knowing me the way I do, that if my circumstances were different, I would be in danger of what is percieved to be the addictive personality. Dopomine has many functions and pleasure is one I believe and for those of us who are losing dopomine big style, we often chase anything that can give the impression of temporary replacement. I subscribe to the belief that we are all addicted to something - that is, we all have somethng in our life which, if taken away, would cause us distress and withdrawal in some form. This is not clinical addiction but something different. Ed talks about fishing in terms which fit my cod theory.
This is merely the bear's unscientific way of trying to explain that, while it might have something to do with medication, there are also other more irrational reasons why we chase pleasure in whattever form it takes. We feel guilty afterwards and in a perverse way that make us feel somewhat better.
Retail therapy is another more benign formof this.
At the end of the day what we are faced with is addiction regardless of the stimulus and by talkng about it and admitting it as might be the case withyou, you have taken one huge step in starting to address the problem. Many of us have sailed close to the wind through our lives but have been fortunate emough not to have been carried away by it for whatever reason. Iam sure all of our thoughts go with you corky and that you can seek advice better than this bear's homily, but the sooner you do the sooner you get more professional help. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
The Bear