New Girlfriend of Parkinson's Disease

Why???  Is he incapable of love??

New GF,

Stepping back a minute ... I think those of us with PD are a bit defensive about your question. Have you researched Parkinson's disease? It is a progressive disease - gets worse. Have I met the most wonderful people as a result of being diagnosed with PD almost 9 years ago - you bet! THE best... no, bestest! Will your reaction and level of commitment (to the relationship) be the same? Time will tell.

 

I'm not sure how to answer your question. PD has brought a lot of things out in me - a sense of urgency and change in priorities ... what I thought I would do 'someday' is being bumped up to 'today'. Relationships are more important and material things become less important. Time is of the essence. Are there ever guarantees in life? I don't think so. You take what feels right and run with it. Enjoy the day! Enjoy the moment!

 

I understand your dilema and wish you the best as you seek peace with your future direction in this relationship.

lizzy4451

AJ: Sometimes I feel bad for my wife since she will someday be my caregiver but I would do the same for her so I don't wish she would not have married me. To the contrary, we have had (and continue to have) a lot of good times and we have 2 awesome children who would not have been born if we hadn't gotten married.

Yes I can get pretty bummed about my diagnosis (I am 49 and was dx'd a couple of years ago) but at least it isn't cancer, Alzheimers, Lou Gerhig's Disease, etc. People with PD live productive and happy lives in spite of the disease. The meds are a challenge but they can help a great deal. And my doc says you don't die from PD.

So I hope you can find some peace of mind--I am sure you have a lot to give your wife and kids.  

I'm new to a chat line. This is my first post.
I'm not sure I want to read about slow death, etc.
I have had PD for 8 years and am still doing well.
Only starting to read about it. Guess I didn't want
to know.

newgirlfriend

I can't speak for everyone, but this choice is completely yours. You're doing the right thing by asking those who are familiar with pd. Just listen to what they say and determine for yourself. Those of us who have pd are strong enough to handle any rejection of this sort just as much as anyone else, if not more so. Just don't lead him on, make your decision and stick to it. If you decide not to continue with him, be honest about it. If you do continue, stick to that decision also. It will probably be just as easy as any other relationship if you want it to be. Any successful relationship requires work from both parties.

hi im Mark...i havent read all your comments...but...its your problem ,not your partners...do u think u can handle it?

When one marries or enters a permanent relationship it is in sickness and in health. It is an easy thing to say when both parties are young and well.
My situation is that I have PD and my wife`s mother died of the effects of PD.
Fortunately I am not too bad, I can still work and earn a respectable income and yes ,I am still satisfying in the bed room department. I also still look Ok. My mind is still as good as ever and in some ways nothing is different.
In otherways things are very different. I cannot travel as I cannot sit for very long. I have problems going to things like the movies because sometimes the pain and stiffness from just sitting there gets too much to make such a venture fun. Sometimes I come home from work too tired to do anything but go to bed.
When we go out my wife walks too fast for me and simply cannot walk slow enough. I cannot walk fast enough. The end result is that my wife travels without me so most of the holidays are without me.
Another problem is that I have nobody to talk to re PD so my good wife gets all that "garbage" which must be difficult. One thing we have got right is a king size bed which makes sleeping together easier.
One thing I have learned is that whilst I cannot do this and I am now not good at that there are things I can still do well and you need to concentrate on them.
As for becoming totally crippled by PD , I am far from it.
Next year, in Australia, the Euthanasia Bill will be put before government...it might be passed this time as 85% of Australians support it and I am just one of that big majority.
Thanks for reading