My Dad was diagnosed in December of 2005 with stage 2 Parkinson's..

SashaSue

New Member

Joined : Oct 2006

Posts : 1

Posted 10/31/2006 5:09 PM (GMT 0)

Hi..

I live 1 hour from my Dad, (I can't drive/handicapped knee); my mom is his caretaker, mom is 70 ;dad is 74. My sis lives in that town too.

Every 4th day or so, I call my Dad , he "sounds" ok, but yet he says he doesn't feel right. Mom says she thinks it is depression. If I was there, I'd probably understand better and probably say that too. I have Dysthymia and a chemical imbalance, I've been depressed since I was a child;I'm on medications now; mom does not want ME to live in her town (I think she feels I'd be a burden too).

I'm almost 50. should be able to live where I want, but not in her vicinity.

I think Dad wants me to live down there and be near him.

My mother and I fought for 35 of my 49 years on earth. When I finally was diagnosed with my illness's, she started treating me a slight better, but still puts this computer between us to "visit".

Oh, my Dad has glaucoma also, had it first, he can't see much. With the tremor,the ridgety,the aches in his body.. the horrid muscle pain & tightening in his lower legs,and with NO friends NOW,that he knew around THEN (in my town) (they moved to this other town 5 years ago to be near my younger sis & her kids)..

Anyway, when I call him,he tells me he "doesn't feel right".. I never know what to say to him to make him relax.. I am hoping some of you here can put me on the right path to help him get through this ordeal he has to have burden him. My mom DOES take care of him, but she never had a heart for anyone. She gets testy with him, he feels doomed I think to be with her. I'm sure THAT's why he tells me stuff when she is out of the house. She has made him feel like a burden to her but around us, she acts so different with him. SHE cheated sexually on him 2 times, yet he stayed with her..

I cry because he doesn't deserve this.(NO person deserves this; I think she does wrong of me I know ). He was a very giving guy to the poor and he was a happy humored man until 2003 or so. . in 2003 is when I noticed him changing; shaking & he was distant,masked face. Of course I did not know back then what was wrong.

How can I be there for him to get him through this from 1 hour away?

Thank you very much.

SashaSue

els

Veteran Member

Joined : Oct 2005

Posts : 4033

Posted 11/1/2006 2:48 PM (GMT 0)

Hi SashaSue, Welcome to Healing Well forum we are happy to have you join us here. It is difficult when you have someone you love and care for so much and know they are ill but yet you cant be near them to lend support and encourgement. You stated that you have depression and are on medication, I wonder if you are in counseling? I only ask this as it seems that you carry alot of anger and resentment toward your mother. Counseling would help greatly as they could give you suggestions on how to repair your relationship or on how to deal with the current circumstances.

Parkinsons is a terrible disorder to have for sure but it almost seems that your father is talking to you for support, someone to listen to him. If you were to move closer to him...what would you be able to provide for him? You cant drive, and emotionally would you be able to handle the backlash from your mother should there be one? Your right that no one deserves to feel like a burden and in that I feel terrible for your father that he is in that type of situation. However, with this type of disorder he isnt going to "feel right" all the things you have listed are symptoms of it, I am sure you know. As long as his needs are met by making sure he is getting to his doctor appointments, his meds are being given to him from the medical stand point there isnt much else. Perhaps your sister is involved in his care?

I am sure that other members will post to you and give you some suggestions. I do wish you and your dad all the best. Please do keep posting it helps...we have a depression board, and many others that you may be interested in checking out...Take care

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