Just need alittle advice for post op

HI

I have posted on here once before and spoke with a very nice gentleman that helped us thru the beginnings of finding out my husband has prostate cancer.

His surgery is scheduled for this Thursday for a radical prostatectomy. He is only 51 and otherwise in great health. Even the nurse told him, at his pre admitting appt, that he didn't look like the person his chart said he was. He is very young for his age and this has just blind sided us.

My question is how to take care of him after the surgery. I'm so worried I won't do the right thing or see an infection or just miss something. I now I am being negative but I need someone to tell me what the lst few days are like at home. Even just the lst day would help me know what to do. I realize they will explain it before he leaves the hospital but to know from others that have been thru it would be so nice to hear. I'm just scared.

Thank you all so much. You are all so brave and strong. So many that want to help others. I feel blessed to be able to read all of your stories. I know its not a good place to be but to have everyone there to help, its wonderful.

Thank you

VaFan,
Don't be scared. If there is one thing this site does, it is to fill you with confidence and optimism. Your husband will be fine. At 51 and in good condition he will bounce back well. Post surgery day 1 and 2 he will be sore and probably have some pain medication but this passes quickly and then he will be uncomfortable for a week or so rather than have any pain. In the early days he will need help getting out of bed (this is why other members suggest sleeping in a reclining easy-chair or if he has time beforehand fixing a strap or rope to the ceiling to help pull himself up). He will have a catheter fitted and early in the piece this is looked after by hospital staff. He will be shown how to take care of it before he goes home. Although he will find the catheter a nuisance it is usually there for only a couple of weeks. Early days incontinence is disconcerting and a real pain but it will improve rapidily during the following weeks. Steps can be taken to treat any erection ill effects in the months following after the operation. Infection is quite rare so I wouldn't let that overly concern you. As you can see here on HealingWell, we came through O.K. and so will he. Keep us posted on his progress.

Welcome VaFan, to you and your husband.

You've been given good advice by the gents here and there will be more to follow, I'm sure!
I just wanted to let you know I felt the same way when my husband had his surgery. We didn't know about this site at the time so were pretty much on our own. I can tell you this, you'll both be fine. This is surgery, there will be discomfort, probably some pain. He may go through some emotional moments but that's perfectly normal. Some of the guys say the main thing they felt was relief and and others loss. The apprehension leading up to the surgery is stressful but you're almost there.

FYI - the second thread on the pc forum "Prostate Cancer Resources and Direct Links to Sites, Videos, Books, etc. to help with your research!" by one of our wonderful moderators, Bluebird, has so much information. It's very helpful.
Here is one of the links on Bluebird's post for supplies post surgery (not all are necessary but you'll have an idea of what you need) You can copy and past the link into the address bar if you don't want to get into too much info right now. www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=586391

I wish you all the best and we'll be looking for you here,
Susan

Good Evening VaFan,

It will be just fine.  There seems to be some missing information about your husbands situation. I will assume you have researched all your options and are comfortable with your choices.  Dont rush into something you or your man feel you were scared into or have your doubts. 

 I had my surgery March 27th.  I choose the DaVinci or RRP.  My prep for surgery was clear liquids 24 hours or more and a enema before bedtime the night  before.  I brought very little to the hosp.  I got there at 1030 a.m. and walked into the Operating room at noon.  I was in surgery for 5 hours and in recovery for 3 ( a little long, I like to nap).

It is a long safe operation.  DaVinci has a little bleeding and the open a little more but either very safe.  The Family needs to get rest because your time to help is when he comes out of recovery.  I was out of it a little when I came out as expected.  Your husband will have a catheter in and his pee will be St. Patricks day GREEN.  This is normal..  It will get clearer by the hour.  He will have alot of liquid coming out.  His diet will be clear liquids right away and then if no other medical issues will likely return to a regular diet right away.  No remember I had the DaVanci and the open is just as safe but may differ in some what I say.  I had 3 or 4 doses of pain medication through my stay.  I was in the hosp. 30 hours.  Now if you have open he will likely be there longer and it makes no difference.

I did some work at a home computer 1-2 hours from day 3.  I had no pain meds except tylenol and Motrin taken alternatly every three hours.  There is a list I loved that I got on this site The little things you need.  I had alot of the list but I got the rest at the store in preparation.  Basketball pants were my favorite item for they snapped up the side for my day bag.  He will have a day and night bag ( little and big). 

I did too much day 3 and my urine looked like kool aid.  Normal I learned.  Watch fever over a 100.  F.  I took three days of anti-biotic after my catheter came out on day 7.

Everyone is different as to how the plumbing begins to work.  I leaked pretty good when catheter was removed but seems to be getting better every day.  Do Kegels, Do Kegels Do Kegels. ED was not a problem and returned in 9 days.

about a week after surgery you get your cath out and get your Path report and go from there.

I am 54 athletic and in good general health.  I am recovering just as expected.  Drive home in the most comfortable car.  No trucks or Jeeps the ride is everything.  Check out the list on this site.  It is worth it. 

God Bless

Frank

Remember, the fear of the unknown is by far the worst part of all this. The human body is amazing and will take care of itself. My Doc assured me that there is very little that you can do that would be terrible except for really yanking out the catheter!

the cath is the scariest thing to face, but he will become a pro in no time at all. PS - my wife emptied my bag only ONCE and that was immediately after coming home from the hospital. After that, I took care of it myself. Most guys use the large bag almost all the time. just let it lie on the floor. a Recliner is a MUST. I slept in the recliner since I found it easier than lying prone and avoiding the tangled tubes. My wife was also able to get a better night's sleep since she was not worried about me with her rolling over. You need your sleep too. The catheter bag does not need to be emptied during the night, usually.  I was always able to go all night without emptying it.

your husband will want a shower a day or two after surgery. It will feel good. Take the catheter bag off in the shower and he can just pour it down the drain. let the foley tube just hang during the shower. nothing will hurt it. Just let the shower water run over it and avoid having him lathering it up in case soap gets in his penis. After the shower, he tapes the foley tube to his leg (allowing some slack for movement) and then attaches the catheter bag and tapes that to his leg as well. He then can carry around the bag as long as it remains below his waist. No big deal. He can do all this himself.  The first few days i found an old fashioned style flannel night-shirt was great. it was like a hospital robe, but better. And i did not have to fuss with pants and snaps and a waist-band the first few days.  Eventually, the waistband did not bother my, but the first few days were uncertain. Also, these first days were more comfortable for me to go commando (no underwear). Boxers were my preference a couple days into it.

Do not worry about leaking urine/blood around the catheter where it exits the penis. there will also be blood tinged urine.

The first bowel movement is awful. Stuff will come out of his penis around the tube. frankly, it is a mess. it gets better.

Each day will QUICKLY get better.

Need any more painful details?? hahaha He will be fine. You take care of yourself too. Don't wait on him. He's a big boy. He needs to get up and walk.

Paul

 

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