Pre surgery anxiety LOTS!!!

This is Mrs. Dirtmover.... My husband is having severe anxiety problems. Doc says he can take Atavan for this however the anxiety seems to overcome the Atavan. He is scared of not waking up from surgery. He hasnt had any surgeries in the past and doesnt know what exactly to expect.  We would appreciate any positive feedback we can get. I am sure the numbers point to a HUGE success rate. HELP!!!!!!

Hey Mrs. Dirtmover,

I was a dirt mover many years ago. We built the Naval Air Station at Subic Bay, Phillipines.

Anyway, it might help if I told you what happened on my surgery day.

I checked in at noon for a 1:30 surgery appointment. They had me fill a bunch of forms for insurance and stuff like that. Had to sign a lot of forms.

Then they sent me to a pre-op room where a couple of pretty nurses put me on a table and hooked me up to an IV. They asked a bunch of questions to make sure they had the right guy for the right surgery. Checked my patient number a half dozen times.

The anathesiologist came in and asked about any allergies and prior surgeries. He spent most of his time ogling the pretty nurses. The nurses then said they were giving me something to relax me. It worked.

Then the priest came in and gave me the Sacrement for the Sick. This gave me a great feeling of comfort and confidence. Or maybe it was the stuff they put in the IV.

The surgeon came in and asked me why the heck I had gone to work that morning. I told him it kept my mind off his job and then asked him if he got a good night sleep. He did. I kissed MaryLu and she wished me luck then they wheeled me into the OR.

The anathesiologist had me sit up on the table and put a numbing shot in my spine. Then he told me to lean forward a little. I felt a pressure on my back and he told me to push back. Then I was in the recovery room and the doctor was telling me that he had saved both nerves and my prostate felt clear on the margins. The pathology report later confirmed that. He also said that the lymph nodes biopsies they did during the surgery came back clean. It was 2 1/2 hours later.

Then MaryLu was there and gave me a big kiss through smiles and tears all around.

The only things they let you take with you into the OR are your naked body and a great attitude. Become a cheerleader for the surgical team. Build confidence in them and in yourselves by envisioning a successful outcome and a life free of cancer.

And look forward to reporting in here. We are all waiting for you here on the "other side"...

Jim

This was my third major surgery. I had two back surgeries several years ago. What he's feeling is absolutely normal, but they are just fears and he has nothing to worry about. Knowledge is the ultimate weapon against fear.
First, the whole pre surgery experience is very business like, but not unpleasant. A lot of the same questions over and over. The first wave of the happy drug is wonderful! Sometimes they take you into the OR awake, others take you in after the happy drug and you don't remember a thing. Either way, you wake up in a bit of a fog a few minutes later (so it seems) and you have a sore, but not painful stomach. The catheter is NOT a big deal. It is a pain in the butt (or dick) to deal with, but not cause it hurts, just cause you now have a 6' attachment. As one friend told me before all this, "You have some rough paddling ahead of you, but it's not a horrible experience at all."

My post surgery pain was manageable. He will be fine. It's all coming at him so fast, that he hasn't had time to process it. I was 47 through it all, so about his age. It is not the end of life as he knows it. I was continent and able to have great sex 9 weeks or so after surgery. My experience is fairly typical. His, in all likelyhood, will be too. Get out, do fun things. Yes, it's like a cloud hanging over you, but start joking about it, have lots and lots of sex...pretend you're 25 again! Do something you've always wanted to do - but as a celebration of life. Not "our last time" kind of feeling. These feelings will subside and it will feel safer to think about it all. He will be fine.
Paul

My brother in-law is an oncologist in Cincinnatti, OH.  He has been doing robtics surgery for as long as the Da-Vinci has been out.  I told him I was nervous and he smiled and said "why?"  He said it is a very safe operation and I should not be nervous.  They always do a pre-op evaluation and if they are worried about a patient not doing well under anesthetic they would tell you ahead of time.  So if they haven't said anything to you then I would not worry.  He has never lost anyone on the table from this.

Apprehension, even extreme anxiety, goes with the territory, especially with no past surgeries to remember.  Even though it's a remote possibility, there is a possibility of 'not waking up', so it makes sense to be scared.  I think it's good that your husband is taking an anti-anxiety med.

I had no previous major surgeries, so knew that this was a big event. My anxieties swirled around everything but the surgery itself:

Will the cancer be contained in the prostate?  Will I become incontinent, impotent?  Will I feel like I've been thru the meat-grinder afterward?   

I made it thru with flying colors.  As an anxiety-producing event, surgery day was much more difficult for my wife, who was awake thru the whole thing.  She couldn't even focus on reading a magazine or a book while sitting around waiting the the surgeon to announce that the surgery was over.

Take care and hang in there...Tim 

 

Having some anxiety is normal, in my opinion.

From looking at your husband's biopsy results, he has a great chance of being completely free of prostate cancer after his surgery, so that should give him some comfort.

The waiting is difficult...but once I made the decision about form of treatment, I felt better.

As a precaution, I typed up instructions for a memorial service, including a list of songs to be sung (I love listening to music) and told a good friend where those instructions could be found on my home computer.  Did not want to upset my wife by telling her about this.  Felt better to have this done a couple of weeks before surgery.

I prayed for peace and strength and those prayers were answered.  The last 3 to 5 days before surgery I was calm and ready for whatever was to come, realizing that with my high PSA and Gleason score even a successful surgery might yield a discouraging post-op pathology report.

My wife, my sister and 3 long-time friends were in the pre-op room with me, which was a great source of comfort.  At least I knew my wife had close family and friends there to give her comfort while she waited.  I was as ready as ready could be.....then came the anesthesia, then came sleep and a few hours later I was awake.

Tell him to take some long walks every day.  The exercise is good for him.  And lots of deep breaths.  Tell him to do some kegels before surgery.  It might help recovery on that front.  And tell him to have as positive an attitude as possible.  He has a journey ahead of him and needs to face it head on and with an optimistic outlook.

Best wishes to both of you during this time.

DanMan Bob

As was said by Danman Bob, the anxiety before treatment is common.  Your husband has the benefit of having his PCa caught early and thus the prospects of excellent outcomes are high.  All these guys are faced with a surgery not without difficult side effects, are glad they addressed it.  He will get through this and your reassurance is important.  He may be wondering how this will affect your conjugal life too.  But now that I reflect on the concern you raised about "not waking up", I think I too had that thought in the middle of the night about my spouse.  Luckily I was able to rationalize that there wasn't much grounds to worry about such a thing, other than my paranoia.  We did find that it was helpful to talk to someone who has gone through this.  Although we knew only one person directly, several friends put us in touch with their friends who shared their experiences, and that was reassuring.   To say don't worry sounds trite, but know just about everyone gives thought to the awful "what if?".  In retrospect, the surgery itself was easy.Your husband will be up walking the hall later after surgery. In our case, about 24 hours after the start of surgery, my husband -- bored with waiting for the obligatory wheelchair to leave --walked down the hall, caught the elevator, and met me outside the hospital. You can report to him the many good cases found on this forum.  And for you, reading back though the posts, or searching for specific topics will help you get a handle on various things you have questions about.    I suppose most of us thought "Oh s---, how will we get through this, it seem overwhelming"  But that is way more typical of the period between diagnosis and treatment, when everything is seemingly up in the air.  We found it worked out easier than we expected.  One step at a time.  We still "On guards" with leaking, but are trying to be patient.  Good luck.  Val's spouse

Greetings, Mrs. Dirtmover.  It is very understandable for your husband to be concerned.  Finding out you have cancer does hit you very hard.  While I am a few years older at 55, it sounds as if many of your husbands other stats are similar to mine.  Also, I had never had anesthesia, no surgery, no broken bones, no stitches.  I really had no idea what to expect with surgery.  I was very fortunate in that I had great support all along the way from my diagnosis to surgery to recovery. 

I never even made it out of the preop room - the anesthesist came in and said I'm going to give you something to help you relax and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room.  I had 4 of the most beautiful faces smiling at me when I was wheeled into my room - my wife of 35 years, my daughter and my 2 administrative assistants.  All 4 have protected me well and made sure that I took time to heal.  I think it was a conspiracy between the 4 of them - what I couldn't do at home I couldn't do at the office either.  I'm very grateful for a great support group.

Take the time between now and your husband's surgery to educate yourselves on every aspect of what to expect.  My surgeon's group had a class for all prostate cancer patients that was very helpful.  Both my wife and I attended and it was very helpful.  Make plans for post surgery care and what you will do for the 10 days or so that he has the catheter in and then for what to do when the catheter is out.  You can learn a lot from this board and a couple of others that are out there. 

Ask your questions here - there are lots of caring people that have been there and want to help.  We will be praying for you in these days and for a peace that passes all understanding as you and your husband prepare for surgery.  You will both do fine.  David

Hey Mr. and Mrs. Dirtmover,
I have been around the medical business for a long time and the incidence of someone just not waking up following surgery is almost non-existant. With all of the pre-op testing done today, nothing goes undetected. I just had the fear of the surgery itself, not knowing what extent of disease I would have, spread ??, and the post-op and recovery phases. It was the first major procedure I have had also, and I had a fair amount of anxiety and this was in spite of knowing pretty much what was going to happen. With todays modern anesthesia techniques, monitoring, and skill of OR staff, this is not the portion of the procedure you should be concerned with. Also if I might suggest so, Xanax or Clonipin might be more helpful with anxiety than Ativan, check with your MD. The anesthesia team will meet with you prior to surgery and will answer all of your questions and concerns. I wish you the best of luck, it will be a tremendous burden lifted when you know that you are CANCER FREE!!!

Randy

I have had 5 surgeries prior to my LRP and the thought is always in the back of my head about waking up. I think it is a normal reaction. The anestheseologist usually reviews a patients health conditions and asks a lot of questions before your surgery to make sure things will be okay. Tell your husband to try and relax, things will be just fine. Will be looking for your post after surgery.

Good stuff here. Jan 2019 PSA 7.9 previous yr 3.5. Biopsy 6 out of 12 positive for cancer. Chose surgery for game plan. Blood pressure a problem heart doctor would not clear me. Had some chest pains too. They ordered a stress test along with other test and scans. Next a fricken angiogram. Cleared that given some isosorbride for the chest pains now back to Urologist. Good to go until his anest hesiologist said I was too high risk. Going on 2 months now. Referred to Iowa city University Urology dept. Anxiety big problem. Worry, gloom and doom daily. Lorazepam only thing takes edge off. Doctors don't want to give me any more,try to give me some long term psych drugs instead. I don't take em. Current Urologist scheduled MRI and more visits with his cardiac people as well as his anesthesiologist. Then a visit with his colleague that does the procedure IF I get cleared for their surgery. I have had major abdominal surgery before. Main issue here is the waiting. Going on 4 months now. Oh ya I'm 66 ,2 previous stents . Thanks for all of the feedback here, it does help. Warren

G6 with one core positive? maybe you should consider radiation?

Guys, if you’re referring to the OP - it’s from 2008.