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1 week to davinci hints please on making it through

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Posted 5/20/2008 2:43 PM (GMT 0)

sad  We can't believe that mr. davinci is waiting in only 1 week! Rod is calm, quiet and easy going as always so I ask how he feels. Answer being only that he can't wait for it to be done. I want to make evereything smooth and confident but really am scared, tearful and cranky (I don't have red hair for nothing!) any hints on making this week better for my best friend please help, I feel like a useless nurse and a not so helpful wife . I read the forum for strength and it helps so much, my prayers go out to everyone , I know we all come through. Annie

Posted 5/20/2008 3:22 PM (GMT 0)

I am a soxsfan4life too!

My husband had the surgery 7 years ago but I can remember it as though it was yesterday. He was very calm and confident the week before. I was the one who was a wreck. I just tried to keep things as normal as possible and tried not to talk about it during every conversation. The only time I really broke down was the night before and it was my husband that comforted me and told me things would be okay.

I remember cooking his favorite meals for dinner and just trying to keep a smile on my face. I told him if he wanted to talk about it I was there for him. It took almost two years for the doctors to actually find the cancer through biopsy so I think for him to finally be having the surgery was a huge relief. Good luck and I will be thinking of you in the coming weeks.

Kim

Posted 5/20/2008 4:25 PM (GMT 0)
My father was VERY nervous about the surgery. He had never had surgery before, so his anxiety was definitely getting the best of him. My mom and dad traveled up to stay with me in Seattle for the surgery and recovery and I found that it helped to keep my dad busy. I was pregnant at the time and had him helping me with the assembly of nursery furniture. You are not able to lift anything over 5-10lbs after the surgery, so we had my dad doing yard work, trimming the roses prior. etc. It was really enjoyable for him and helped distract him for himself :) We spoke a lot about things that were going to be happening after the surgery too. It was good for him to think about things other than his surgery.
He has told friends since his surgery, that it was really helpful that we were so positive during the process, because he always thought the worst. So, try to stay positive, or drag in other family or friends that can. My dad has a good sense of humor, so I tried to keep things light. It is definitely a scary time, but you will get through it! Hang in there and best wishes! We will definitely be thinking of you!
Posted 5/20/2008 6:31 PM (GMT 0)
Had DaVintia Robotic 2 weeks ago. Comparatively speaking, it is a walk in the park. The catheter for a week is a bummer. Pain is minor and I have not been able to restrict myself to light duty. I’ve been doing yard and garden work for the last 2 days, which I should not have but, my biggest problem is staying down.
Posted 5/20/2008 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
soxfan, Good Luck on the upcoming surgery. The actual procedure for me was a relief as well, just a little abdominal soreness post-op. My biggest pain, literally, was my bottom, which made sitting difficult for an extended period of time. The first few BM's were painful, stool softeners were most helpful, as any straining or pressure produced quite a bit of pain, but this subsided after a couple of weeks and disappeared in about 4 to 6 weeks. I walked a lot, use the leg bag and some loose fitting gym pants or the like. I had the procedure done and was home the next AM. The catheter gets old quickly, some neosporin ointment around the tip kept from getting any local inflammation. Again, Good Luck, I hope he has the same success as I, this disease has taught me much about life and patience.

Randy
Posted 5/20/2008 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
The waiting is the worst, soxfan. 

Since I had to basically fast the day before surgery, we had several big feasts the week before. I ate like a pig and didn’t worry about it since I knew the weight would come off after surgery. I didn’t worry too much about the DaVinci since I had done so much research on it and spoke with countless guys who had the surgery done with it. Before they put me under the doctor pointed out the DaVinci.  I remember it looked like some type of robot with arms covered in plastic. They were just starting to warm it up since I was the first surgery of the day. Next thing I knew I was waking up in post op, and the day after I was walking around the block with no pain, although I was very, very sore. It felt like the day after the first football practice in high school. I was very lucky in that I had no bladder spasms or gas pain at all. Good luck. Things will be just fine.

Posted 5/20/2008 8:01 PM (GMT 0)
My husband is having DaVinci the 29th, 62 years old, psa 3.4, 1 core of 12 positive, Gleason score 6, Diagnosed early March..found by accident testing for something else. I am trying to be supportive, he has never been ill...he is not taking this well at all. I almost died in January (believe me we have both always been VERY healthy)-had a kidney stone they missed that caused a block and I got septic poisoning-6 days in the hospital (3 in ICU)..but I am fine. It has been such a hard year, and I feel guilty that I wish he would cheer up and be a bit more positive, glad they found it early, we have wonderful insurance and we are lucky in so many ways. I feel guilty that I feel like he does not realize this is no picnic for me either. We were in the Carribean last week, and he was fine, he just pretends it is not happening.  It's going to be a long 10 days till this surgery is done... 

Posted 5/20/2008 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi soxsfan4life

Nothing much to add to all the advices already give. If it was me I would have done lots of walking and kegal exercises until the Op. Something I did not do and wish I had. Everything would be fine. Catheter is the main discomfort. See you on the other side and keep us updated

Pos
Posted 5/20/2008 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
The surgery was not that big of a deal for me. I had my surgery on April 28th. No real pain from the surgery. The catheter on the other hand was a pain in the ....., but over all I am so relieved that the cancer has been removed. I am sure Rod will do well. Please let us know how he does.
Posted 5/20/2008 9:28 PM (GMT 0)

As others on the board have pointed out the waiting may be the hardest part. Also I think it was harder on my wife than me.  We had to be at the hospital at 5am for 7:30 surgery then 2 1/2 hrs iin surgery 2 hrs in recovery and then on to a room.  For her it was about a 6 1/2 hr wait in the waiting room(take a good book)By early afternoon they had me walking.  The catheter part is the hardest for the next 7/10 days.

Prior to the surgery we took a couple of day trips, went to a couple of good restaurents spent some time with the kids and spent a lot of time praying to the man above. I think my faith has always been an anchor in times like this and can go a long way to helping you in the coming week.  yeah Good luck and God bless.

Posted 5/21/2008 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
I had surgery in April but wasn't apprehensive because I thought I would die on the operating table and just accepted it. Since logging on here, I haven't heard from anyone who died during the surgery and found that a large number of patients had the same thoughts, for some reason.

Really, the surgery was easy, the immediate recovery in the hospital wasn't bad at all (except for getting woken up throughout the night for checks) and the catheter I had in for 14 days was actually no painful at all. When I got home, I slept through the night for the first time in years because I didn't have to get up to go to the bathroom.

The biggest surprise to me was how much energy the operation took out of me. I was exhausted all the time and took frequent naps. I didn't really see the light at the end of the tunnel until last weekend, which was five weeks out, and this week, I'm feeling pretty normal.

My first big whoopee was not leaking during the night (although I have to get up twice to empty my bladder) and having a dry pad when I wake up. Someone here gave me a tip of sleeping on my back and that did the trick. I've learned quite a lot from reading the posts on this forum.
Posted 5/21/2008 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
sox,
Although it's a bit late for you, but others might benefit. Two things that I did prior to the surgery was to watch a video of the entire operation on youtube (this let me see exactly what they were going to do) and since I had to wait several months for the surgery, I made sure I got myself in shape. I walked a lot and everyday I did sit-ups (got to 60 at once, the most since high school) I knew that they were going to make incisions in my abdomin so I made the muscles as strong as I could. I had almost no pain during the weeks to follow.
Like someone else said, take a good book. My surgery took 5 hrs. and then 2 more in recovery.
Good luck, we'll see you on the other side.
Wayne
Posted 5/21/2008 7:25 PM (GMT 0)

  ...You'll be fine Sox, I mean these folks on this board are quite a inspiration and a source of strength....I have a two month wait for my date, and although I had fallen out of my routine at the gym the last couple weeks I'm back in now, with a whole new motivating factor,  listening and putting to use what I read here.....I'm leaning on them and they don't even know it! (well, guess you do now! Thanks)

Posted 5/21/2008 8:44 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Sox Fan,

I am from your region of the world too.  Who did you decide to go with?

I agree with most of the good information here.  I did get some heavy work, like change the oil in the mower.  Get the flower beds cleaned out and do stuff so its nice to sit outside and/or not worryiing about normal maintenance issues.  Us guys do those kind of things.  After surgery a leaking faucet can become very annoying because you cant fix it. 

The last week I spent time making lists and getting useful items for my recovery.  Break away basketball pants are the best.  Tune up the recliner it will be his best friend.  I got my lap top in order and made sure a printer was handy.  If your thinkin of upgrading your TV and/or cable channels even temporary now is the time to do it.  If your hubby likes books get em now.  I am a movie guy when I am down.  Makes the time fly by.  My neigbors got me a gift certificate for Net Flix.  Mail order movies.  That was great.  I did not take one not one nap after I got home.  I could not believe it so dont think your man is going to be sleeping alot.  No lifting, no lifting for six weeks or more.  I have heard several hernias here with the DaVinci when we were bad. Finally if you have a big family try and control it just before and after.  You dont want him to keep repeating himself all the time.  Make sure the pets are behaved.  A lap jumper can usually be seen flying accross the room.

You will be just fine.  Take a deep breath make lots of lists and hold him close.  He may not want to talk to you about all his fears and concerns so much but that does not mean your any less his special girl as was the day he met you.

God Bless

Frank

Posted 5/21/2008 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
I sent a long email yesterday, but it did not post. Will this post?
Had the surgery 15 days ago. kcragman
Posted 5/22/2008 11:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kcragman,

Welcome to the group -- and as always, wish you weren't here. :-)

I see your latest post. I guess it depends how long your "long" is. I have seen other posts here that fill up several full-height screens. If yours wasn't any longer that that, I suggest try again.
Posted 5/22/2008 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
Sox, the hard part is over, until the surgery is complete. Use these last few days to reconnect as a couple. A couple days before, have a nice private dinner, maybe a little wine if you're inclined, make love, hold each other, and reestablish that connection that has kept you together all these years. Then face the future as a team and emerge to the other side where healing begins...

Post Edited (James C.) : 5/22/2008 4:49:59 PM (GMT-6)

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