ED and continence

Considering that I am only 3 weeks out of a radical prostectomy with robotic surgery (the good old daVinci Machine) I am feeling fairly good in the healing department.  My doctor informed me that at 2 weeks out of surgery I could start taking my Viagra and start working on the ED issue. He informed me that I could even have sex if I was feeling up to it. What I found on the first day of taking Viagra was that I had about a 30 percent erection. I was all excited and thinking that I was on the right path to a normal sex life. Sadly, this has been my only success and nothing has happened since even while taking the Viagra. Now, I am not so sure. My wife thinks that it could also be in my head and that I am too hard on myself. I was a very sexually active guy prior to all this mess and all I had to do was think sexy and I was up and ready.   I have noticed a strange sensation down there, like being tickled from the inside of my urethra. It’s not unpleasant. There have been other times that I get an aching sensation from deep inside. I chock that up to still healing and am not very worried about it. I have also noticed that I am not getting a very good stream when I urinate. I plan to discuss this with my doctor when I see him next. This surprises me after that catheter was in me for a week. It comes out thin and not as a single stream. Kind of a shower spray that goes everywhere. It has forced me to sit and pee to prevent a huge mess. I have also found that I have much better continence in the morning with a greater chance of leaking as the day grows late. Greater chance…what am I saying, I leak. I’m going through 2 or 3 pads a day. I was hoping for better.   What I am truly surprised about is that I can still have a fairly good orgasm without an erection and without the seamen popping. I never experienced this before, as I never had an ED issue prior to surgery. I have had several orgasms from self-stimulation. I’m no doctor but I believe that an orgasm is the ultimate Kegels exercise. Man, talk about the pelvic floor tightening up. I almost cramp down there from the muscles contracting as result of this activity. Therefore, I think I will lay off this activity until I am more completely healed in there. With that said is there a way that you other guys prevent from getting excited. For example, I watch a movie with my wife and some hot scene is going on and I still feel the desire inside. I just can’t do anything about it.   This whole thing does get frustrating sometimes. I know I will get through it but I get tired of peeing on myself and not being able to have intimate relations with my wife the way we used to. I worry that I’ll be the statistic that doesn’t get my continence or penile function back. I know the doctors told me about the post surgery conditions, I just didn’t comprehend the effects it would have on my stress levels. Life sucks sometimes but I know that what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger.   *******************************************************************************************   47 Years Young. PSA 5.4 - Discovered during Annual Physical with Family Practice Doctor. First time I ever had a PSA drawn. I believe that my Doctor saved my life. DRE negative. 3 of 10 cores positive, in left lobe only. Pre Op Gleason score 4 + 3 = 7. Biopsy pre-op - rated T2a. Da Vinci Robotic RP surgery on June 4, 2008 – Both side of the nerves saved. Biopsy post-op - rated T2c – both sides had cancer as noted in pathology. Post-Op Gleason score 4 + 3 = 7. All margins clear - no cancer outside prostate as noted in pathology. Post-Op PSA not yet completed.

Is there any difference from a medically approved vacuum pump and a cheaper pump that you can purchase from an adult store? I haven’t looked weather my insurance will cover the cost of the medically approved pump and I hear that they are expensive. I will opt for the medically approved unit even if it means a larger out of pocket expense. Just curious.

Hawkflyer,
My husband and I are going thru similar situation as most on here are and I know how frustrating and lost you feel. But with an understanding wife and finding intimate ways to be together other than the "norm" will get you thru this. Kents surgery was April 10th and right after he had what seemed to be very normal erections. Then back to nothing. Sure, its not easy because we had a very active sex life too but its all part of the process with this horrible monster. As with the incontinence, he was convinced he would never pee like before again..going everywhere, using pads, etc. Now he is pad free. Just happened one day.
You have to give yourself time. We have been told this so many times but once you start feeling better, you think all should be ok again. With this, its just not that way. Read all you can. You will learn so much and of course always ask whatever you need from these wonderful people on this forum. The have been such good friends to us as they will to you too. No question is too small.
Cindy and Kent

Hawkflyer, Welcome to the forum.  Some short answers for now....

RE your strange sensations down there:   I have had what I call 'knitting pains' for the full 8 months since surgery.  Not all the time, but it feels like something is just inside, pinching me.  I am hoping that's nerves regenerating.  To have a variety of sensations 3 weeks after surgery isn't unusual and even to be expected.  Things are adjusting, settling, healing and such, so it will take a while to get it all sorted out.  Give it a couple months to settle down.

The urine stream:  It's still soon after removal of catheter and it takes a while for the swelling to go down internally, from the urether all the way to the bladder.  If it doesn't improve shortly, or if you show any sign of infection or stoppage, see you doctor and get his opinion...In any case discuss it with him when you get back for a checkup.

Orgasm without erection:  That's something else, isn't it.   Just goes to show you ain't dead yet...lol  Yes , that's a fact of life after surgery, you can have dry orgasms with a flaccid penis.  No harm from it, and it's even good therepy for regenerating nerve healing, so don't worry about it.  If it doesn't hurt, then it should be ok.  If you wish, you can wait a couple weeks and try again.  If your worry about getting excited is about damaging something, don't worry about it.  If its the mental part of frustration of being excited and no erection, then there's a variety of ways left to keep intimacy and satisfaction for you and your wife going.  There lots of other ways to achieve it, without the erection.  The less you worry about it, the greater the possibility of faster recovery. 

It's a long and emotional journey back for most of us guys, so join the club, we're all in it together now. 

It is still early in the game as far as erections go. With nerve sparing and you being young you have a good chance of gaining your erections. I was fortunate as mine came back pretty good with no meds, with Lavitra they are back as good as ever. (See my signature below.) Remember as good as the orgasms are flacid, they are 10 times better with a full erection. Having the desire without the erection can be torture. I have not had the tingle sensation you mentioned. The continence will get better too. I know you have heard it before but do give yourself time to heal.

BTW -
the cheap pumps from the sex stores work just fine. Make sure you get the kind that has a cuff around your penis - not the kind that create the vacuum against the skin of your abdomen. All the pumps have the quick release valve and, with some work, you will discover how to get the most out of them. They don't feel at all erotic, so don't get your hopes up!
Paul

Becky, Congrats !!!

Ain't it great !! Mine came back in less than four months.

My wife and I are enjoying each other again also.

Best of luck to you both.