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Posted 8/11/2008 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
I am here to help support and understand my father's diagnose. We share a house and we spend alot of time together along with my 3 daughters and there spouses / boyfriends.  My dad is very private when it comes to health issues.  I found out over the weekend that he has prostate cancer and has known for about 2-3 months.  He is taking Casedox (sp?) and starting hormone therapy.  I have been reading some very unsettling side effects regarding this type of treatment.  I don't know the extent of his illness or what "stage". I am in sad / scared stage and any information would be helpful.  Thank you.
Posted 8/11/2008 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
I would first start out by talking to your Dad's Urologist. I'm sure he did a biopsy to determine what stage, tumor volume and Gleason score. Your Dad's age will have a lot to do with what course of treatment he receives. Casodex is used in Hormone blockade therapy. I'm just a prostate cancer survivor, not a doctor but I am sure you will get the information you need from the knowledgeable people here on the forum
Posted 8/11/2008 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
I have been on Lupron for 4 months and yes it has side effects but is liveable for most.  People around me would not know or see any difference.  The side effects are mostly manageable.  Harmones are used to control testesterone as PC cancer feeds on testerone.  It will not cure the cancer but will control it from growing and spreading.

The doctor may have recommended it as a part of his treatment.  That was the situation with me.  You are at the right place to have many of your questions answered.  There are many ways to approach PC, and several successful ways to cure or prolong life.  The initial fear from hearing about it is often more overwhelming than the actual circumstances.  I certainly hope that is the case - blessings. 

RB

_______________________________________________

Age 61
Original data - pre-operation
PSA: 5.1
T1C clinical diagnosis, Needle biopsy - 10 cores, Gleason 7 = 3+4 in 1 core (40%), 7 cores Gleason 6 = 3+3 ranging from 5% to 12%
All scans negative
Lupron administered 4/9/2008 for 4 months (with idea I would undergo external beam radiation followed by seed implants - then I changed my mind).
Robotic DiVinci surgery - Dr. Fagin (Austin) May 19th
Post operative - pathology
pT2c NX MX
Gleason 3+4
Margins - negative
Extraprostatic extension - negative
seminal vesicle invasion - uninvolved
1st Post PSA .04

Posted 8/11/2008 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, 'father's daughter',
If you look under what we post, we include as much information as possible about our disease. Knowing what these things are will take some of the mystery out of prostate cancer for you. Then knowing what your dad's numbers are will help you understand your fathers case better. He does seem quite silent on it but that isn't too unusual. Sometimes men don't talk about it because they don't understand it, and sometimes men just don't talk about it. For me talking about it helps a great deal. I know where I am and know I can cope with it. There is life with cancer. Talking with his urologist may be a good way to start as long as the urologist will talk about it. But your father needs to open up a bit, too. He has to remember that this isn't just HIS disease. In time you will get the imformation from him, but maybe until then, learn about what a Gleason is, the treatment options, and how to help him. This site can help with all of this and more.

BTW, I have been on Lupron and Casodex for over a year. Your father likely had a shot of an LHRH agonist like Lupron, Eligard, Zoladex, or Trelstar. That is usually prescribed with Casodex in the beginning. He will likely be on a two year stint with it. The side effects are real for me, but I tolerate them well. You might ask, has it spread to the bone or other areas? If so he will likiely be on this treatment for a longer period.

Tony
Posted 8/11/2008 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome! I am sorry to hear about your father's dx. As you can see from my "name", I too have a father that was diagnosed with PCa. In my experience, it has been really important to get as much information as possible from my father. I went to his appointments with him and obviously left the room when necessary, but it is really important to give him support, even if he thinks he doesn't need it :) My father only tends to hear and remember things he wants too :) Therefore, it is important to get educated on the disease state, treatment options and try to get your father to let you help in the process. We have all changed our diets and encouraged him to do the same. You have found an incredible source of information and support at HW. I hope you stick around!
Posted 8/12/2008 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for replying.  I have never been on a site like this before so I am not sure how it all works.  Am I replying to all that responded to me?  If so thank you so much for the welcome and good information.  My dad and I talked today and he cried so hard when I hugged him....he said "I am not alone?"  He has always been very independent.  Never been to a doctor or taken medications.  He is 72 and works as a server in a very demanding resteraunt.  He is retired from Insurance.  Work as always been his life. I said no....never. He doesn't want anyone to know. I asked to go to appts. with him but he doesn't want me to.  I really do want to speak with his urologist.  My dad thinks if you talk about medical stuff it is negative...he only wants to hear of positive...he is a tough one. Thank you.
Posted 8/12/2008 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
If it were me I'd stay the course. He will accept your help when the time is right. If you still need to know more, then ask him if he can let you see his pathology report. Let him know also that the mystery may be hard on others he loves.

Knowledge can be a strain, but in the long run I find it easier to know everything. I fully understand his wish for positive thinking. After all look at the last line of my signature.

Tony
Posted 8/12/2008 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Tony...
Posted 8/12/2008 1:53 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Tony...
Posted 8/12/2008 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
I am my father's daughter,
See if you can convince him to visit this site and just read some of the different posts here on the site from members having widely different stages of disease and different treatments. He will see that there are many with exactly the same problem he has who have run the full gamut of emotions he has gone through, shock, anger, sadness ......... followed by a decision to fight back. He is not alone...........any questions he may have will be answered here by people with exactly the same problem. Information will do much to ease his mind. We are all shocked when we get the news but understanding prostate cancer can help immensely in dealing with it. Visit also www.yananow.net and check out the treatment charts there with members sorted by PSA or age or Gleason score or year of diagnosis. He needs to understand he has a problem but is far from being at the end of the line. Information is the key.
Bill
Posted 8/12/2008 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
                                                             Hi ~Daughter and Loved Ones,   W elcome     to   ~ HealingWell ~   and   A    Special Warm Welcome   to   You !   Knowledge gives us POWER.   POWER takes away the fear.   ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~     Click   on   link   below for important information that will help you ~ help us!!                                                                    >>   Welcome New Members ~ to HealingWell   The information (link) listed above is to help you get around the forum!     This is a journey best traveled with friends.     Welcome ~ New Friend from all the members here... on HealingWell.com     Forum Moderators v       IdahoSurvivor ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1160/1313099593_9f819e3ff8.jpg   v       Doting Daughter  ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum   v       James C  ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum
Posted 8/12/2008 2:08 PM (GMT 0)

Father's Daughter,

Sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. He sounds a bit like me. I too kept it to myself as I am a fairly private person. I did let one close friend know and she counseled me to let others know. As a result I did open up a bit more and let others know. I also posted on this website and another called prostatepointers.org. Best think I ever did. The expression of support and well wishes was overwhelming. It came from close associates as well as strangers with big hearts. The notes from others who have had the same experience were both disconcerting and comforting in terms of what to expect in the coming months. Fear is generally a product of ignorance. Knowledge will give your father hope and comfort.

You need to get your dad to allow you to speak with the urologists. That darn HIPPA thing may get in the way if he does not specifically allow this. Once you get a better idea of the situation post again and you will get a flood of new insights. As suggested have your father read some of the posts as well.

Good luck to you and your father. Many have beaten this disease or at least held it at bay for a number of years.

Don

Posted 8/12/2008 6:02 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the reply. This morning I asked my dad if I could go with him to at least one medical appt. I explained it would help me get a better understanding of his situation. He didn't have to be in the room if he didnt' want to. He gently refused and said he didn't want to talk about it. I think I will ask him to grant me perssion to speak with the urologist on my own....I don't know what to think...he worries me so.
Posted 8/13/2008 7:21 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Daughter,

If you haven't already, you should tell your father that lots of families get involved with the patients with prostate cancer.  It is natural to be concerned with the health of someone living with you and also a person really needs a second set of ears at many appointments.  And it is natural of him to feel very, very disinclined to want to share his health problem with others.  I think he would gain much from reading through this site to see the range of issues covered and the interest of wives, daughters, sons, and significant others in learning and helping.  He is carrying too large a load all alone.   This forum is a blessing and he could really benefit by spending private time reading back through the posts.  Good luck to you and him.  The private parts makes privacy a toughter issue.  Father-daughter relationship also makes that tough.  We understand.  My dad had PC too, first diagnosed at a metastatic bone level.  He lived 12 more years, following a variety of treatments.  Not without some side effects, but he was as active as ever.  There is hope. 

Posted 8/14/2008 12:43 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Valentine,

I will continue to take the wise advice of those on this site.  I hope to slowly but surely let my Dad know it is ok to talk about his condition.  I think he is in shock and scared.  He has never been sick, taken medication or even gone to the doctor.  He is strong mentally and physically and the thought of losing any type of independece is frightening.  Thank you for taking the time to write.  You are right, being a father/daughter relationship, we don't talk much about bodily functions or" body parts." The information about your dad was comforting.  I am new to all of this and what all the info at the bottom of each persons response means.  Thanks again.  I best get back to work...have a great day. 

Posted 8/16/2008 4:49 AM (GMT 0)

Daughter

email me and I will give you my phone number if you or your father needs an ear.

My website and my information is listed below in my signature.

Richard

Posted 8/18/2008 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Daughter,

Your Dad sounds exactly like me, and I'm sure like more than a few of my fellow big, strong, fearless, independent and brave fellow members of this forum who came to be members from their wives, daughters, sisters, Aunts, and even Grandmothers.

We don't ask for directions while lost in the car, so it's unreasonable for you to expect us to ask for assistance or information for something REALLY serious.

In my case, my wife was conversing with people on this site for weeks before I would sit down and start reading,
and once I figured out my worst fear wasn't going to be going through the check out counter at the supermarket with some large boxes of Pampers, I relaxed and eventually even started posting on my own.

I think if you ask him to do you a favor and read this thread from the top to the bottom, and then make sure he knows how to access the board, he'll quickly become an information junkie like the rest of us.

To begin, get his signature either from him or from his Doctor (With permission) and post it. Then when you come on . or he does, he can compare his journey with the rest of us, and will probably realize he's luckier than some, less fortunate than others, but we're all carrying the same weight, and we can always get our wives or our daughters to go to the supermarket for us.

If your Dad is smart, he's inquisitive. Knowing HIS STORY is on this board will make him want to know others story.

The unknown is what is scaring your Father the most. Being alone is the last thing he wants to do right now and an empty chair in front of a computer screen is all the incentive he'll need to find out how other people are coping with a pretty scary situation, and he doesn't have to "meet" anybody he doesn't want to.

My best,

Billy
Posted 8/18/2008 4:05 AM (GMT 0)

Hi father's daughter,
Billy ~ mlbsm, has just posted some excellent advice.  And his great point of view is why you stay the course of trying to encourage him to allow someone to be on this journey with him.  Re-iterating what I posted in your other thread, amost always, the patients feelings or point of view changes once they become familiar with this disease and have lived with it for a while.  The sooner the better.  But if he remains resistant, you can remain interested to his eyes.  I have seen this here and other sites before quite a few times.  Hope to see you again soon!  And maybe even "I'm my daughters father". turn

Peace,

Tony


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