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One week to surgery

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Posted 11/7/2008 9:55 PM (GMT 0)
A week from today, I will be under the knive, so to speak.  Been doing a lot of self reflection the past week.  My emotions still range from being stoic and logical about the whole PC thing, to feeling despair and anger.  I am sure that is normal for all whom suffer this curse.  Spent the day with my married daughter on Wednesday off antiquing in the mountains in NC.  My wife and I are going on a picnic by ourselves this Sunday to catch the last of the leaves turning here in the Appalacian mountains.

The surgery doesn't bother or scare me, this will be my 5th since I turned 28.  It's all the unknowns and uncertainties related to PC long and short term that eat away at me at times.  I know this is an important first step, along a path that I can't see the end of at this point.  I know the facts at hand, but also aware of all the high risk factors ahead.

Be glad when this part is over with, then like all the others here at HW, I will have learn about incontinence and ED.  With a very supportive wife like I am so lucky to have, the ED part concerns me the least.  Our long relationship spans way over having "normal" sex together  She know that if it were the other way around, and she had breast cancer and had to have her breasts removed, it wouldn't change a thing with me in how I perceive her real beauty.  Enough for now, sitting and waiting for another long week to pass.

David in SC

Posted 11/7/2008 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Purgatory
Good luck on your surgery next week. I had mine done 6 month ago and it seems like it was just yesterday. I pray that you come out with flying colors. Good luck again
Kris
Posted 11/7/2008 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Kris

Posted 11/8/2008 2:07 AM (GMT 0)
The waiting was/is the worst part. I hope that you are able to enjoy the time with your family and that your surgery goes well. Reading your post brings back our experience like it was yesterday. A year later....we are very much looking forward to a cancer free Holiday season and I hope at this time next year, you and your family will be doing the same. Wishing you peace and strength.
Posted 11/8/2008 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
We will be here if ya need to holler at us.
KW
Posted 11/8/2008 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
The week will pass and we will wait for you on the other side as you start your recovery and healing. Spend this week organizing, practicing getting in and out of bed while not using your abdominal muscles, doing kegels and visualising how you will arrange things and deal with after-surgery life.
Posted 11/9/2008 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for letting us know David, and I know you are ready to get to the other side of this as soon as possible. Please keep us updated, I am marking my calender for your surgery date.
Do you know if you will be receiving any radiation after surgery?

peace and love
Dale
Posted 11/9/2008 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
David, Best wishes for your surgery. You sound strong and also practical. Don't worry about what is in the future. Just take care of what is in front of you right now. The leaves are very beautiful here in New England this year also. Diane
Posted 11/9/2008 2:15 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks, Diane and others

I miss the New England falls, we are transplants to SC from New Hampshire (Live free or die!)  Moved here in 1989, but still considered dxxx yankees (and proud of it)  Likely to have post op radiation according to my doctor, but will have to wait and see.  The last time I had radiation was in 2000, 35 rounds due to my 3rd time of porocarcinoma, still have never gotten over it, left me with perpetual thirst, fatigue.  Told this doctor, I am more afraid of having to have radiation again then any kind of surgery.

I go for pre-op in the morning.  Right now, my wife and I, and youngest son (25) about to due a nice mountain drive on the NC side of the Appalachian mtns,  try to get my mind off of the surgery this week and other PC thoughts

I appreciate all of you here, and your struggles, victories, and even the losses, it makes me feel less alone, and perhaps a little less scared.  Thank you.

David in SC

Posted 11/10/2008 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Purgatory

Hope you enjoyed you leaf watching trip.  They have been really beautiful this year.  Better than the last few years.  Good luck to you on your surgery, and I know everything will be fine.  And by the way, when the constipation gets better, go by the Beacon in Spartanburg and have a chilli cheese a plenty for me.

Mika

Posted 11/10/2008 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
David....You will be fine, and it will all be as it will be....Don't worry....it is not necessary. You have a wonderful wife and family and you should be just resting and enjoying tonight. I know it is hard. I just had to tell my husband the same thing...Let us know when you are over the surgery....We will be praying and thinking of you....Best of luck....Diane
Posted 11/11/2008 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Appreciate everyone's thoughts and care. We missed the prime colors of the leaves by one weekend, but it was still a fun trip. Went to hopsital today and had pre-op, I was in an out in one hour, no problems or concerns there. St. Francis is a top notch hopspital in my area, and I was treated like royalty by all the staff.

Be glad when this part of the journey has passed, they are still expecting me to be in the hospital from 3 to 5 days.

Thanks again one and all
Posted 11/11/2008 2:05 PM (GMT 0)
My last few days before the surgery was spent getting things at work prepared for my absence, making sure everything was taken care of at home...and then a few quiet hours alone for some self time. These next couple of days will actually be the hardest for you mentally.

The anxiety actually subsided for me when I was in the pre-op room and all the nurses and doctors came by to say hello and to explain what they would be doing. That really put me to ease more than anything. From that point...it was okay.

Hint: Make copies of your journal here and then re-read them after the surgery...it will make you smile...believe me.
Posted 11/11/2008 2:58 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Les,

The pre-op went fine, no problems. It was only 8 years ago that I had a major cancer related operation at the same hospital. I was amazed that my Anetheologist (?) was the very same man that did my last one, that was kind of comforting. I wish I was working during this time, I was laid off from my job as CFO of a Foreign Exchange firm back in July, so I have way too much time on my hands.

I don't like this whole PC thing, never expected it, and other then a quickly rising psa since age 50, never saw it coming. But as my former boss would say, it is what it is. Like the rest of the men here, just trying to deal with it the best I can, along with my lovely wife and family. It's been hard on them too, and you just don't seem to find much written about support for those that are with you

Three days to surgery now, about as ready as I can be, all my affairs are in order.

The support here has been great, tough club to get into, but glad to be here.

David in SC
Posted 11/11/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
David, the unemployment is a blessing in disguise. It allows you to concentrate in deciding your treatment plan, getting ready for your surgery, and speed your recovery on the other side. You can be single minded in your recovery and rehab, and not be concerned with juggling work and urine pads, ed, pain, soreness, catheters, finding time to do your walking (you are planning on doing a lot of walking to speed recovery aren't you? lol). Having time to concentrate on you is a positive. I suppose most men who still work would envy you the time to do it...
Posted 11/11/2008 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
David--You have a great attitude going into the final few days before your surgery.  You are lucky to have the family support that you have, which is so important thru the prostate cancer journey. 

And the emotional rollercoaster is par for the course.  Time and patience will help.   I wish you well on your surgery later this week, that all goes well and you have a smooth recovery.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing when you are able to post a message here...Tim

Posted 11/11/2008 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
My friend you have your head on straight. The surgery itself will not be that bad, and as even-headed as you are you will be able to handle the other side just fine. Sure it changes things, but so do all the things going on in life. We will be rooting for you on the other side. RB

Age 61 - now 62
Original data - pre-operation
PSA: 5.1
T1C clinical diagnosis, Needle biopsy - 10 cores, Gleason 7 = 3+4 in 1 core (40%), 7 cores Gleason 6 = 3+3 ranging from 5% to 12%
All scans negative
Lupron administered 4/9/2008 for 4 months (with idea I would undergo external beam radiation followed by seed implants - then I changed my mind).
Robotic DiVinci surgery - Dr. Fagin (Austin) May 19th
Post operative - pathology
pT2c NX MX
Gleason 3+4
Margins - negative
Extraprostatic extension - negative
seminal vesicle invasion - uninvolved
1st Post PSA <.04
2nd Post PSA <.01 10/30/2008
Posted 11/11/2008 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
I am fortunate on the walking part, the only real walking track in my small town, is two blocks from my house, all in the woods, its 1/2 mile if you do the full loop, and 1/4 mile if you take the shorter route When I read here of all the different results/trials/troubles/sucesses here with the men, I will just have to wait and see how I and my body reacts to the surgery and whatever comes next The ED part bothers me more in principle then practice, I have had a wonderful sex life for all of my adult life, and if it ends, then so be it. I love it as much as the next straight guy, won't lie there, but I think my life is valued on a whole lot of more components then just sex. I am still trying to imagine what a dry ejaculation would be like, if I even make it back to that point, just doesn't seem natural to me.

I use to think of PC as an old man's disease, but despite what you read in books, I am amazed at how many men are in here that are well under 60, and the number of you men that are in your 40's.

Thanks
Posted 11/11/2008 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Just listen to your body and let it heal. I'm sure you will be fine. The RRP is not all that bad. Just make sure you or someone else keeps an eye on your urine output right after surgery. My cathither was clogged by a clot and I had some bad times until it got all flushed out. My bad back was the only thing that really bothered me other than that. The incision really did not bother me at all.
Good Luck,
KW
Posted 11/12/2008 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
Dear David, You will be fine. Everything will work out...You will be out walking again and looking at the leaves and the woods and the squirrels running around. That is what life is...an ongoing life affirming time....It will be as it will be...You may or may not have sex again....It matters now in your mind.....It won't matter in the future when you are alive and can walk and dream and just BE with your wife...Just be here now and enjoy your life right now....You are strong and will overcome....xDiane
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