42 years old and have prostate cancer what a shocker

 Hello

 well this sept  I was told I have prostate cancer , what a shocker just 3 weeks after I was told I could not work anymore  because of a very bad  back and injury  here I am 42 with my first little girl at age 3 , the wife and I were trying for another  but to late  now .

 I was told my cancer was stage 5-7  and psa  was off the  scale so they  say 

  on the scale but was a agressive cancer and had taken the hole rt side of my prostate .

 The doc sat me down and we whent through the treatments  and so forth me still being out there from the news , I made my choice while up deer hunting this year and had the prostectomy  ON November 18  , I had the  cath tell Dec 1st then called the doc and told him it had to go  was in pain.

  I havae to say it is quite emberrising having the loss of controle and so forth  , I hope it will get better .

 I would like to know more about the recovery  if I wil ever have controle back ? trying to find  the kegal  have flexed every thing I can and with little or no  luck ? I dont know  I guess I am still in shock  and embarrest about it  not  sure   so I hope I can get  some advice from others who have had this done and what to expect in the long run .

             Thank you all for your time  and any advice  you ma give , I wish you all the best  in beating this thing

Post Edited (lastcowboy42) : 12/2/2008 9:53:52 PM (GMT-7)

I was diagnosed at age 37. I was the youngest person my doc operated on, who has done of 2k of them. It is difficult at times seeing others my age having no idea what I am going through both physcially and mentally. But I keep reminding myself it could be so much worse. If I didnt take that psa test and never had the operation it would be much more lethal later down the road. What has helped me since being diagnosed 5 months ago, I go through the things that have changed my life for the positive since being diagnosed. I live each day much more fully and many things that bothered me before dont. But I do have this weight on my shoulders because of this and will never go away and my only suggestion is to talk to people who are willing to listen (you will notice many people avoid the questions of how u are really doing), and this board is one great avenue of talking to people that are livign with the same issues as you. You can live your life as a survivor or as a victim. These are the cards we were dealt and we must make the best of it, and enjoy what you have. Hope this helps. When I get stressed out which I am now taking my next psa test tomorrow, I pray and ask others to pray for me.

LIVESTRONG!!

Howdy cowboy, from A wife....Stay strong, You have gone through the worst....Talk to your wife, Kiss your wife a lot, talk to her about your feelings....You are young and strong and you will get back to normal again...(whatever normal is)...This is life, and you will deal with your hand... You won't fold on this.....There are much worse things....My best to you....D

Hey Last, I was 43 at Dx and Surgery. We are here if ya need us. Good luck with the healing.
KW

Wow. You and I have had very similar experiences, both in timing and in age. I am 43, was diagnosed with prostate cancer on Sept. 5th and had my prostatectomy on November 5th. I have had problems with back and neck pain due to some herniated discs and that has affected my ability to work as much as I need to. I am also unable to work much since my surgery since I can't be on light duty at one of my jobs at a hospital.  The kegel exercises have been difficult for me to do post surgery because of pain that I continue to have at the astomosis site (where the urethra was reattached to the bladder, and where the prostate used to be. I also feel some pain in the testicles and still seem to have at least somewhat of a bladder infection which causes some burning.  I have some bladder spasms as well when I urinate and right afterwards.  I have had good success however with bladder control, which I attribute may be in part to having practice with kegel exercises with a physical therapist before surgery.  What may help you, is if you can see a good physical therapist that specializes in urological specific P.T., and they can do some kegel training with you using some biofeedback. They put some electrodes on you externally, (embarassingly though at the perenium near your anus) which is hooked up to a computer to show when you are properly isolating your kegel muscles.  If you are having pain with kegel exercises then you should talk to your doctor or a P.T. as I was advised to hold off on doing them until the pain subsides.  I hope and pray that all goes well with your recovery, just remember that it can take a few months to develop bladder control, that is not at all uncommon, I happened to get pretty lucky on that.  Practicing your kegels is essential to your recovery though, so if it is not painful yet do them religiously under the supervision of your doctor and physical therapist.  My cancer was stage T1, gleason 3+3, found through a routine PSA test, which I think was initially 3.2 or maybe 3.4.  Don't despair, your prognosis may be scary, but your attitude matters a lot, and advances are happeningn everyday.  I share your loss with not being able to father more children,  I never got to have any and didn't have any money to freeze the sperm. Good luck and blessings to you.

Hey cowboy I feel your pain. I was also diagnosed at age 42. I had had the disease for quite some time so they say as before they found out what was wrong with me it had spread to my bones and lungs. They tell me my prognosis is not good but I am now 45 and still really living my life.Perhaps living for the very first time. I see things much differently now. The birds sound really pretty in the morning. The sunsets are much more spectactular. Hormone therapy has recently quit working and I get to do a dance with chemo. My wife also wanted a child. There are other ways. Be open minded. A baby is a picture waiting to be painted much like our lives are a book waiting to be written. It is not a sperm cell that makes a man a father. Pca will offer many challenges. Facing these challenges will cause you to grow in ways you never thought possible. There are good people here who will be there for you if you need to vent, cry, or rage. I know as I have done all the above. Stay positive and have faith. Treat your body as a temple because it is. A lot of the things we eat these days are pure poison. I believe you will be fine. Hang in there and remember you are at the best place on the web for dealing with Pca. We are all walking the very same road. My E-mail is available if you want to talk. I will provide my phone number via E-mail. Todd

Welcome to the club Cowboy, I hope you will find the nurturing love here at HW that keeps us all coming back. Be sure to take your time and get as educated as possible. This is a tough battle, but if you have a good battle plan you can and WILL beat it.

peace and love
Dale

I too didn't find this place until after surgery, and what a help it would've been beforehand. Eitherway, it's a huge help to me now. No matter what the question, there's an answer from someone whose been there. My 1st question was a "shrinkage" issue, many responded and offered encouragement and info about how it rights itself when it matters - whew.. Plus, my wife always reassures me of what really matters.

Some particulars I discovered in the incontinence dept. At first, after surgery, I was rarely dripping because I was on my ass alot, however, as I became more active I spotted more. Go for a walk; drip, laugh; drip, sneeze; drip, pick something up; drip. I saw pinkish bloody-urin, came here to question it, and found it's common... take it easy & don't strain oneself.

By the way, that mention of a panty-liner is a great idea. This pad I'm wearing makes me look like johnny "wad" holmes 10 seconds before action. The bulge is ridiculous.

See ya around!

Last Cowboy: I was diagnosed at 40, just after my birthday..Its definitely a shock and hang in there you will be fine..Try and not stress about it, just get proper advise and get it taken care of..   My current status is down to one pad a day, which I never thought would happen ...ED is coming around, maybe 70%..PSA is now zero   Its been about about 8 months since surgery   Good luck, keep us posted