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Posted 3/15/2009 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Scheduled for open radical surgery on March 26. Still stunned at how a how a few months can dramatically redefine your life perspective and priorities. Enjoyed a beautiful pre spring day in Pennsylvania despite the Gleason 8 elephant in the room. The thoughts of waking up im that hospital room, catheter in place, removed from the good health and ambitious plans that I previously enjoyed, shake me to the bone. But I do get the point of this forum support and the invaluable advice offered by brother in arms. I will fight with education and resolve to best this beast with all the resources available to me. Scared stiff but I will definitely take time to enjoy life along the way. Best wishes to all on the journey.

Oncas (Jim)

Routine PSA 11/18/08 after 3 yr lapse in annual checkups 8.04 (prev 2.7)
Biopsy 1/23/09 12 cores pos 11 cores Gleason 7 1 core Gleason 8
Bone & CAT Scans neg
open rad surg scheduled 3/26/09
Posted 3/15/2009 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
Oncas,
I wish you all the best. Be positive, I had a Gleason 8 and 9 from my biopsy and now I'm on the other side hoping for my first PSA to be a zero. My surgery was quick, one night in the hospital, one week with the catheter, almost dry (one pad per day). ED is another story but the important thing is to get rid of the elephant and the rest is just an inconvenience.
Posted 3/15/2009 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
Jim,
Your fear is well understood and respected. If you didn't have any, I would worry about you. Your surgery will be soon upon you, and then you will be on the other side, the recovery side. Hopefully, all your cancer is contained and your surgeon will get it. Then when you are on the mend, you will feel better knowing that you did what you could. Then you too, will anxiously await your first Zero, and we will rejoice with you. You have made your primary treatment choice, and now you just have to wait patiently for the 26th to come and go. I remember how nervous I was the last couple of week before surgery, though I kept myself busy, it was hard not to think about it often. This is a very normal way to feel at this point. We are with you, and hoping nothing but good results for you, brother.

David in SC
Posted 3/16/2009 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Jim

Don't be afraid of the open surgery, it will be a breeze. I had it in May of 07 and stayed two nights in the hospital. Keep a good attitude with this thing and everything will be alright. Hope the surgery will get rid of it for good.

Mika
Posted 3/16/2009 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
Jim,
I felt the same way going in. I have a whole different perspective than I did then. I was able to get through surgery fine. The elephant is fear, I know this for a fact. Cancer grade, stage and all that does not matter as much as fear right now. I find that even with my advanced case I am doing quite well today. And I plan on it for a long time. I believe that you will be just fine. Get passed this point and you start healing.

I can't say my life didn't change but I can say it is better now than before. And I don't have fear anymore.

Peace to you...my friend.

Tony
Posted 3/16/2009 3:36 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Jim,

Being apprehensive before treatment and being relative new to this battle with cancer are understood by all of us here on HW. You have done everything you can do and done it right. You have a treatment plan that is best for you. You have a treatment schedule and you have obviously researched your options. Thats what we all did and we all made it through to the "other side". The fear will subside. Nothing defeats fear better than success so celebrate all your small victories on your way to surgery.

As you have noted, cancer changes our lives. Those changes can be for the better or for the worse. The choice is ours. Prostate cancer treatment has some drastic side effects but there are many resources that we can use to overcome them. Read the many success stories here on the forum with regard to overcoming these side effects and making life as good and sometimes even better after treatment.

You mentioned priorities. Facing serious illness does tend to sort out the small stuff that we can get rid of. Here too you have the power to choose what is important to you in your life from now on. Take control - of your priorities, of your treatment and most of all of your attitude. A great attitude is our number one weapon in this fight. With it we can turn the downer days into victory days. We can meet adversity with good cheer for those around us.

You have made an excellent start. Please stay with us and help us on our journeys.

Jim
Posted 3/16/2009 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there. I'm approaching two months out from a slightly different surgery. I went through some frustrations, but am now, as I put it in an e-mail to friends over the weekend, returning to normally scheduled programming. Everyone's journey's a little different, but keeping your head up helps a lot. At the same time, it's ok to be scared, anxious, frustrated - this ain't tiddlywinks.

Through other contacts, I've been talking with someone who's ten years out from it, and who keeps reminding me that what I'm feeling in this moment will fade into the past as things resolve.

I wish I'd found this forum before my surgery - I'd have learned a lot it would have been good to know beforehand. Come back and ask all your questions all the way along - the doctors DON'T know everything. In particular, unless they've had it themselves, they don't know what daily life is like.
Posted 3/16/2009 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
 Hello Jim

I Felt the  same way  , we all deal with it in our owen little ways  lol  for me well alot of people were mad but

I went Elk hunting for 2 weeks came back on a sunday and surgery one Tues .

 I was scared of the unknowen but when time came it was easy , took a little over 6 hrs  for mine .

The best feeling is after its over  and the healing   beagines  there may /will be bumps  in the road but thats what this group is hear for the support and  learning from others .

 Take care my friend  and see you on the healing side of this thing :{)

                            Ron

Posted 3/16/2009 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
Greetings, Jim.  It's natural to be a little apprehensive on the front side of the surgery.  You will do fine and be on the other side before you know it.  Please keep us posted on how things go.  You'll do great!  David

Posted 3/16/2009 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Oncas,

I still remember the apprehension during that week leading up to my open RRP also. I have to say the Pre-op visit does help since it familiarized you with the waiting room and other partiiculars. I guess you are done with that part now.

Here is my funny story about the surgery itself.

I was waiting in the pre-op parking area with the drip line in and just waiting to hit the surgery (feeling OK since they do give you some painkillers even before surgery these days to keep spare the nerves during surgery etc). So the nurse is explaining to me, when you awake from surgery you will be over on the other side of the room in Post-op parking area. Then, the next thing I knew I am hearing "He's waking up" from the nurse and the whole thing was over -- in literally one second as far as i was concerned. darn never even got to count backwards from 100 or see the surgery room and all the shiny equipment or watch them draw the marks on my abdomen! HAH! I was kind of disappointed about all that.

Hey one thing to ask about: Will they use STAPLES on your incision or TAPE (plus the regular sutures of course). Everyone hates the staples -- I was lucky enough to have only TAPE which you can pick off yourself during the second week. Staples look ugly, feel ugly and give you all those extra holes. I think they could do tape because I am thin and had a non-fat tummy -- but I have not asked (although my PA was kind of surprised no staples ). Yeah too late to diet and exercise to a flat tummy now I suppose -- sorry!

jim
Posted 3/16/2009 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
Jim, yours was a good description of how fast a major surgery takes place from the patient's perspective. It's over that fast, as you are gently being awaken in the recovery room. On my open RP, I was barely able to say I remember going into the surgery room, and helping them move me over to the operating table. One person put a mask over me and said breathe normal, and then I was waking up in recovery.

BTW, I had the real staples, 25 of them my wife said, I was happy at day 10 to have them removed virtually painlessly. I hated to touch them while healing, but they did the job, and I never had any leakage or oozing from any of them.

David in SC
Posted 3/17/2009 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
I had every apprehension that you do Jim. Had knee surgery in 1969 and Gallbllader removed in 1971. I could only fall back on memories of the excruciating pain, 6 and 8 day hospital stays, a nurse nearly injecting me with penicillin and possibably ending my life. Brother was I in for an awakening. Turned down so many pain shots, they finally told me I was getting one whether I wanted it or not. Up walking the halls 4 hours after surgery and asking when can I walk again? Seeing the beauty of my wifes face smiling back at me when I left recovery. Knowing that I was alive and would continue to be so. Meeting some very effective, hard working and dedicated, caregivers that I now consider to be in a since, friends. Being cancer free, picking up a new tractor tomorrow, no leaks today that I can remember, and and a nice glass of wine before me. Life is not quite the same as before but it is getting better every day. You will not be alone on surgery day, a whole bunch of us will be there with you in thoughts, prayers, and spirit. All will go well for you, my friend.
Posted 3/17/2009 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
Oncas - My experience is that the apprehension is almost ALWAYS worse than the medical event. I've been thru a few surgeries. TRY to relax as much as you can before the big event. The hospital will treat you well. When the event comes, you'll sleep right thru it and won't feel a thing. The first couple of days after are tough, but you just take it minute by minute, hour by hour, and suddenly 3-4 days have gone by, and then you are up and getting around. Then the catheter comes out and suddenly 2-3 weeks have gone by. You discover you can do more and more each day, and you keep pushing the boundaries. Then before you know it 2-3 months have gone by and you realize you are living your old life again with a few adjustments, and hopefully over time those adjustments get smaller and smaller until they just fade away and you are back.

I'm approaching the one year post op mark, and that's kind of how it's working for me.

Good luck,
kcragman
Posted 3/17/2009 6:47 PM (GMT 0)

Oncas

Coincidentally I too am scheduled for an rrp on 3/26.  I called yesterday to schedule the surgery and was given the option of the 26th of March or the end of April.  I want to get as much recovery done as possible before the summer so I opted for next week.  Talk about throwing yourself into the fire,  lol.  It took me a while to be at peace with this decision but for me, at my age, I feel it’s the right thing to do.  Anyway good luck next Thursday, I’ll be in the same boat…hope it works out well for both of us.

To echo Oncas and others, thanks to all who contribute here!  This site and the yana site have been a great resource for information and the personal experiences are invaluable.

Posted 3/17/2009 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
SMC,
I am sure you will do fine too, and look forward to see you on the other side, the recovery side.
Best of luck to you and your surgeon.

David in SC
Posted 3/17/2009 10:05 PM (GMT 0)
smc64 and Oncas

Got you both down on my calender for 3/26, you guys get special thoughts and prayers from me and I know others here too on that day. You are going to do fine!
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