Ways we cope

Sheldon,
Great post, at a great time. Our differences, and many they can be at times, is what makes our brotherhood here so strong and so determined, and so comforting. We are a good mix of men, along with our other halves, from all over the place, from all walks of life, with a million experiences to share.

How one copes with the great beast PC, varies as much as we vary. There is no right or wrong here, in the end, we may fight the same enemy, but we fight different battles on different days, but we are all on the same side, in the same war. Many of us will win in the normal course of our destined lifetimes, and some of us won't, just like in war.

Our strength will always be our common ground, not our differences. All for one, and one for all, I say.

Speaking only for myself, I would be 10 times worse off, if I didn't have all of you to talk to, to vent, to laugh, to weep, to rejoice along with. It would be a much lonlier battle without you guys.

David in SC

You can't know how much this site has meant to me. I wrote my first post in pain: mentally, physically, emotionally -not at all sure of the outcome. Sheldon, David, geezer, goodlife, TC, WD-40, Ed, Barry, et al. jumped at the chance to reply and the quick response left me in tears. I read your signatures that night and realized I was not alone. Here I was, not sharing my PC with anyone, and you guys were opening your kiminos to me. My humor (if not willie) came back.
Heck, I even started to making a list of funny things that happened during my recovery. You wouldn't think anyone can laugh about our situation but some of these posts really crack me up and lighten the load. Who else can I share this stuff with?
My wife has rightly noted that conversations with you have done more for me than talking about it with her. (She's admitted to being a little jealous but understands this site is GFMPH).
Thanks for being here and helping me cope.

This site as also been a great help and comfort to me in the normal run of life I can make all the decisions that I need to make through my own thought process but not with this PC problem this site gave me what I needed a wide view of ideas which I needed I still had to make the decisions which is is the way it should be It is still helping it is so good to know that any problems that might come I can come on this site and within a few hrs I know that my problems are no different to most people that have been there before and is the normal recovery process by the way what does GFMPH mean

Before PC, I had the attitude – if I’m going to go, I might as well go out in flames.  Part of that entails “smoking two packs a day has its good points.”

After PC, I’m leaning towards the ol George Burns motto: “If I knew I was going to live this long, I’d taken better care of myself!”

Now when I get a flyer from the hospital one mile away about cholesterol testing – I go. (went four days ago)

Also this week I made an appointment with my long time friend Doc Don. He’s the head shrinker I’ve visited about 20 times over the past 20 years or so. He also does Quit Smoking Hypnosis and his office manager says he has a 99% success ratio.

It really cracks me up when I think about had I quit in January, my long over due bathroom remodel job would be done and paid for with the money I’ll save when I quit.

 

Colin45,
GFMPH means: Good For Men's Prostate Health. If you end a request with "...is Good For Mens' Protate Health." Your significant other will always agree.
For example: "I heard that eating all the brownie edges in the pan is Good For Men's Prostate Health." Or "I heard that having a $700 rolling tool organizer in the garage is GFMPH." or "I heard a trip to Cancun is GFMPH. " or "I heard a daily back massage is GFMPH."
It's amazing! Give it a try - (but don't tell her I said so. Genital removal by hand is definitely NOT GFMPH!)
I gotta' tell you, the GFMPH concept has certainly helped me cope!
Jeff

Greetings, everyone.  Great post, Sheldon.  I do appreciate everyone here and the comraderie we share.  I regret our common bond is this disease, but whatever the reason, I'm glad I found this group.  It's always good to have a group of people who know what we're going through to bounce issues off of.  Thanks to everyone.  David

This indeed is a great post. My coping mechanism is really to stay so busy helping others that I do not think about what I have. Sounds silly I know but gosh it works. I love to read stuff here on HW it is always eye opening and thought provoking. Every person here has a unique way of dealing with PCa and its impact on their lives. I love everyone here and even though I probably use my faith often but that to is a part of me. All my ministries I am involved in and work and exercise keeps my mind somewhere besides cancer.
I love all you guys and more than anything I love sharing our views on topics..

peace to all
Dale

OK. David E. You gave me my first laugh of the day...

Siewife, you opinion about cancer in general is well understood here by all of us, well spoken.

To all of you great guys and gals - I suddenly realized that I had not really "adjusted" to having PCa until this past week - even though I was dx'd in Dec 07.  The posts in this forum are awesome! and have helped me to accept it and go on with my life despite early depression and fatigue (Lupron).  I have two wonderful kids - boy and girl (actually man and woman) and the dearest wife, who threw me a surprise 70 year birthday party today at a local park.  It was also awesome and included some close friends and a priceless collection of photos of important friends and events in my life. 

I don't feel 70 and most people say I don't look it.  So what's my point?  The point is that it IS OKAY to GO ON LIVING.  Just because we have PCa doesn't mean that we lie down on the sofa and give up.  We CAN continue to enjoy life and to learn and do new and different things.  This past week, I bought a treadmill and have begun to use it daily. I am also doing light weight lifting with 5 lb barbells.  Plan to revisit Tai Chi when the next session starts at the local "senior" center.

In Sept. my wife and I will fly to Maine to celebrate a reunion of her family there.  And I will be visiting my relatives and some high school friends there also.

One last thought.  I recently heard a lecturer on TV say that he sits down with his wife and son each evening and they each tell the others four, five, or more things that they are thankful for.  I have started doing that with my wife and have recommended it to our children.  Today I am thankful for all of you, for my wonderful children and friends, for being able to get on a treadmill, for a glass of red wine I had this evening, for looking forward to another day of hot Maryland weather (not really).  But you get the idea. You might give it a try.

Actually, another thought - will probably get my latest PSA results Monday.  Hoping for 0 or equivalent.  But I won't be devastated if it isn't.  Mentally, I'm as positive as can be.  Physically, I'm a 70 year old trying to pass for 25 .

Love and hugs to you all,

Gene in Md

There are many wonderful thoughts and ideas in this thread. Thank you all for sharing. It makes what burden I carry much easier being part of such a wonderful group who are experiencing and coping with the same devils.

Another thing I find very helpful is my Personal Mission Statement which I developed a number of years ago for the express purpose of having a rock should life become less easy and I didn't have the time, energy or resources to think about anything except immediate priorities. My mission statement is: "To serve God by being a loving and supportive member of my family who makes the world a better place by helping others reach their full potential." When life is spinning and headed out of control I remember my mission. God one, family two, helping others third. With priorities and purpose, issues can be put into perspective and once in perspective are most always easier to deal with.

It is impossible for me to tell all of you how important you are to me and what a difference you've made in my life these past few months. Bless you all.

I am aware too that our time together is headed to an end. Looking back at the archives I can see that the group which was here last August, while containing a few of you, was a very different group. People have coped with the fears of diagnosis, the angst of treatment decisions, the pains and issues of recovery, reached some normalicy in their lives and moved on. I suppose every week or so the group morphs into a different skin. New people arrive and some quietly graduate --- likely unnoticed as one-time frequent contributors slow down to a point where their absence is hardly noticed as the new team tackles their issues.

I don't expect to graduate, at least not for some time yet. But, many of you I hold dear will, and before you do I want to thank you again for all your support, wisdom, honesty, positive energy and humor.

I write from my cottage near Kenora Ontario on Lake of The Woods where I've come and for the first time since surgery spent the whole weekend. Magic. Our loons have managed to raise two chicks to near adulthood without them becoming lunch for muskies underwater, or bald eagles in the air. Not an easy feat. I did a few swipes on the front lawn with the mower and today I'll take our daughter's dog for a ride in the boat. My wife has brought me coffee in bed and two of the three granddaughters here this weekend arrived in bed with us at seven. Two daughters-in-law are pregnant and will deliver at Christmas. My 95 year old mother has gone off to her cottage at Victoria Beach on Lake Winnipeg and has called to invite us to come and visit. Life is good and whatever cancer cells may still be lurking around, whatever squirts and dribbles may come, whatever aches and pains may attack my perineum, whatever lack of energy keeps me from fishing, matters not in the grand scheme of things --- at least not right now. And I know when these devils do return to overwhelm me I have the shield of my mission statement and my friends here to get me through.

Blessings to all,

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

Your last paragraph sounded so wonderful and almost magical. You are a lucky man.