HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Making Love Again

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/28/2009 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
As I have said many times since I was diagnosed with PC on June 25th this forum has been an extremely helpful, knowledgeable and supportive group. My decision for surgery and the Dr. I chose have been as a result of the information learned here. The discussions of each man's journey have opened me to research and discussions that before had never been a part of my life.

There have been many publications mentioned here and I have looked into or ordered many of them.

I have always maintained that getting rid of the cancer was to me a forgone conclusion, but rather I wanted a "Quality of Life Afterward."

My search for information has led me to the book, "Making Love Again". Written by Virginia and Keith Laken, it is a true story written by a husband and wife who have journeyed through the process of PC and surgery and the search for Quality of Life and Love.

I ordered it 2 days ago, it arrived last evening and I read it completely from cover to cover with my morning coffee today.

It is not just about the mechanics of sex, but rather the search for intimacy, loving, caring and compassion that we all seem to take for granted or let slip from our lives as we go about living from day to day.

I feel so blessed with having the chance to read this before my surgery.

No matter where you are in the process; waiting for treatment, had the treatment, having ED issues or not, I feel that this is must read for every husband and wife.

My wife's cancer Dr. felt the need to postpone her Stem Cell Transplant by a week because she had the sniffles in July of 2006. When my wife expressed displeasure about having to extend our already lengthy (14 weeks)stay in Houston, the Dr. responded with words that have guided me almost daily.

"WHEN GOD TALKS, YOU GOTTA LISTEN".

I feel that this book was placed in my path because of my search for another book that was mentioned on this forum.

Take a minute, look it up on your own, and give it a thought.

I promise that no matter what you glean from reading this, great or small, each of us will learn something about having a more fulfilling, stronger and loving relationship with our significant others.

Thanks guys,

Sonny
Posted 8/28/2009 7:32 PM (GMT 0)

It is not just about the mechanics of sex, but rather the search for intimacy, loving, caring and compassion that we all seem to take for granted or let slip from our lives as we go about living from day to day.

So very true.
Posted 8/28/2009 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
I bought that book before my surgery and my wife and I read it, not knowing what shape I would be in the ED department ahead of time. Its a good read, and I would reccomend it too. If anyone wants a copy, I would be happy to pass on mine free of charge. Just email me an address to send it, and I will take care of the postage. THen when you are through, you can pass it on.

David in SC
Posted 8/28/2009 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
David,
I would like to read it,
Please send to Larry Wineland
239 Jameson Drive
Georgetown, Tn. 37336

I'll be glad to pass it on also.
Posted 8/28/2009 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
Sonny thanks so much for posting this. I am not familiar with the book but I can assure you I am going to get it. You are blessed my friend as all of us are. We have to find the grace disguised in what we do and what happens to us and it sounds like you have.

peace and love
dale
Posted 8/29/2009 1:09 AM (GMT 0)

Sonny you are right on.  My wife and I received a copy of "Making Love Again" from the coordinator of the MDX 010 experimental drug study, and Dr. Kwon, from the Mayo Clinic, who told me I cannot live in fear any more.  The Book, and encouragement of those who know what we face is fantastic.  Kathy and I have had a changed life since.  I would be happy to talk with any one who wants to know joy again.

Dick

Posted 8/29/2009 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
lew, another brother beat you to my offer with an email, perhaps he will pass it on to you. wish i had more than one copy to share.
sorry.

david in sc
Posted 8/29/2009 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Sonny,

I am glad you are thinking ahead on what life might be like up to and thru surgery ( both mechanics and emotions and your partners feelings too).

One thing that I personally advocate for all guys that have their surgery planned (but not yet completed) is to try experimenting with the three ED drugs in the time remaining leading up to surgery. Do this even if you do not have any problems in this area because:

#1: It is kind of fun and exciting to try them out if you never had before -- we all wonder about those Four Hour Erections they keep warning about.

#2 If you are getting to the old geezer stage you might not even realize you have slipped down a few notches in the performance department and might be pleasantly surprised that you get some of it back.

#3 It could be of invaluable help (and dollars saved) to know which, if any, of the three seem to work under normal circumstances so you will have a better idea of what might work someday post-surgery.

#4 Did I mention it will be kind of fun to experiment with these?? Might also allow you to blow off steam and reduce or even overcome pre-surgery anxiety (which definitely could affect performance in the short term) a LOT more often than you might be able to do au natural.

You can always call your URO or the PA and beg for a few samples -- even using the excuse that you are having some anxiety related problems. Also that you would like to know what might work before you go to the ED stage. They will happily oblige i am sure.

So, a little Better Living Thru Chemistry, combined with some fun and games should go a long way to getting you thru the early stages of PCa and surgery.
Posted 9/2/2009 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
I heard that you get better results if you go into the surgery with a completely empty prostate.
That was my goal! I even slipped the Urp $50 so he would tell my wife that.
The above statement may just be a rumor -a GFMPH thing (Good for men's Prostate health).
But who cares?!?! You'll both be glad you spent the time together.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply