Sonny - Going Home Today - A Better Man because of the journey

Good Morning All,

Well I'm just starting to pack it up to go to the airport and head back to Orlando. And I am going home a better man than I was when I started this journey.

I am not just talking about the removal of the diseased "Little Walnut".

I started this journey alone. My wife was in the hospital when I was diagnosed, unable to participate in my research and decision making process. I was not able to tell her about it until just a few days before my first visit to Detroit to meet Dr. Menon and schedule the appointment.

But fairly early in the search and discovery process I ceased to be alone. I found HW and you wonderful, supportive, caring and knowledgeable
folks. I have never been so surrounded by support and encouragement in my life.

It is not trivial to say flat out that I could not have made this journey without you guys at my side. You have been there every step of the way. You are family and more importantly, members of the PCa brotherhood.

Someone said in a recent post, when talking about discussing PCa and the side issues of ED and continence, that the could not really talk about it with his family, friends and co-workers. They had no basis for understanding and to talk to them was to burden them with knowledge they could not handle nor relate to. If they were not strong individuals they could not carry this burden and it would weigh them down. They would look on him differently.

I too have sensed this when talking to many of my friends who have contacted me when learning of my journey. I find myself withholding information and details, knowing they could not understand it nor offer any thing of value to the conversation.

I came to HW in search of information about a subject I was ignorant of. You guys welcomed me with open arms and more importantly candor and understanding. Over the last few months I have been able to contribute to HW. I feel a part of the brotherhood. I have a sense of worth to the brotherhood and the ability to be a valuable member in the years to come.

So I go home today "Walnutless", but a better man.

I will grab my wife at the airport and not let go. I will go home and make love to my wife with passion and emotion, and yes you can do it without a "woody". She will not need that to feel my love and undying devotion. For now she will be a part of this journey too. She has been shut out of this for the most part. I have been her caregiver for many years and she now longs to be mine. She will be my emotional caregiver. And I will be a better and stronger man because of it.

And I owe each of you so much for opening my eyes to these possibilities. You've seen my path report. I have no idea what the future holds for me as concerns PCa, but I will not sit around wasting time waiting for it. "EVERY DAY IS A BONUS". I will not squander a single one. I will celebrate every one. And I will love my wife and my life more each day than the day before.

And many of these things I OWE TO YOU.

So thank you members of the Brotherhood. Thank you for you support, your encouragement, your prayerss, your blessings and your love.

I will be posting again and posting with input, questions to discuss and support for all. Support for those already traveling down this path and those that are surely to find us as they begin their own journey.

And I will be able to discuss with candor and openness, for I am now too a Member of the Brotherhood.

Thank you so very much,

Sonny

Sonny, you may not have realized it at the time ,but you were accepted as a member of the brotherhood the first time you posted here. Have a safe and swift trip home, my brother, and enjoy the love of your wife. I understand exactly where you are coming from.

When you are well enough to travel again, you are most welcomed to come visit if you head up to Atlanta.

David in SC

Sonny,
Your post "almost" brought me to tears. It was so full of emotion - and we're not even on hormones!
I understand your comments about the value of this site and the members. We say things here we cannot say to people we've known for most of our lives. We get answers from folks that don't have an agenda, or hands in our pockets. And finally we get sage advice from guys that have been through it and truly understand.
Sorry to burst your bubble, pal, but losing the walnut and all it entails did not make you a better person. You were already that guy - you just didn't know it.
I'm honored to slide over and make space for you at that giant picnic table of life.

Jeff

Safe travel Sonny, both in the air, and in life.

I am proud and honored to call you brother, friend and companion on a life journey that takes as a mantra that we may not be able to add days to our lives, but we can add life to our days.

And, I join in touching my cap in awe and respect of the wonderful and heartfelt post at the top of this thread. I too feel grateful and beholden to my brothers and sisters here and I thank you for putting into words this magical bond.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

Stay strong my man, stay strong.

Hi Sonny.  Great recounting of your journey - thanks for sharing with us.  You are blessed to have a wife to take care of and now who will take care of you.  Marriage is a partnership - in good times and bad.  Sounds as if we are both blessed way beyond what we deserve.  Look forward to many more opportunities to interact - either here or in person someday.  David

Sonny.

You are such an inspiration to us all and I wish you a speedy recovery and best wishes to you on your journey.

Mika

Sonny,

Now that you are on the other side, as with most us us there is a groundswell of relief. The next chapters require patience, one step at a time.  We all share a similar experience and yet it has it's differences. Nevertheless going on this journey has helped us all to  focus on relationships and other aspects of life that before seemed part of life's background. Your testimony illustrates the point very well.

Best wishes,

Ted