When, if at all, do you tell a prospective employer you have PCa?

Do I tell them before I get hired? How about after? Not at all? I am uneasy about this. Feels like lying to me...

Will it affect your ability to do the job? Ok, it might mean some time for doctor’s visits but so might diabetes, asthma, or hemorrhoids or diseases that a person doesn’t even know they have. So don’t tell. In fact, they probably don’t want to know because of anti-discrimination laws – they are much safer with no knowledge. The one exception would be a job where passing a physical was a condition of employment like airline pilot or Navy seal. I never tell that my great-great grandfather was a horse thief even though I believe that the trait may be hereditary (fortunately, my present employer doesn’t own any horses.)

Oh, one thing, if the job is leading man in ****o pictures it might be worth bringing up. But if you can bring it up for the audition I suppose that even then it doesn't matter.

For me it was a couple months before I was hired by my present employer. But I can speak for the yin and the yang of it. At my old job where I worked 16 years, they under went a complete change out of the management during my diagnosis and I told the new boss and she told me that this was a place of business and if I could not perform at the highest level then I needed to go out on disability. That was it, there was no compassion. I resigned as I was in fear still and I didn't want that kind of stress. I had never had less that a 5 star review of my work.

Now back to the yin.

about two months later, execs from the current employer came to me and asked if I would come on and help them develop the Las Vegas market for them. I told them about my condition and that I was scheduled for surgery. They waited. Then they came back to me two months later. I told them about my advanced disease and that I would begin my radiation soon and that would not be fair to them that I come on with this heavy load and be less than 100%. They said they wanted me to start immediately and that if I needed take time for therapy, that it was fine with them. I was almost brought to tears by their compassion. I am loyal to them and have been given levity to travel and work in my charities and advocacy projects.

Two quite different reactions. This decision to tell both is in my honesty. I knew I would be affecting my status but I also knew I had to let them know since it would affect my ability to travel and perform at a level that I set for a standard for myself. And it would be obvious if I hadn't told them.

Like a treatment choice, this will be very unique for anyone in this forum who is employed by another. I pray that they get the reaction of my second employer. But it could be risky for many.

Tony

Tony that is a rare company that would do all that ,glad it worked well for you and your case.

I am actually self employed, but I told no one professionally about it, only family.  24 hour hosptial stay, so not a problem.  You tell a future employer and you won't get hired would be my opinion

Dear Geebra:

As others have mentioned, it is only lying if you do not disclose something that will impact your job performance.  Assuming you will be able to do the job without the PCa getting in the way, there is no reason to disclose.  And, why would you want to give anyone a reason, however subtle, to not hire you?

However, recognize that you might need to divulge the issue after being hired, depending on what questions are asked when you sign up for the health insurance...and you should, of course, be truthful if asked the question in that situation.

If you are still uncomfortable after all of us armchair lawyers have given our advice, maybe this is something you might run by your family attorney...

Tudpock

Draw your own conclusions......


From: The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

"Discussing Disability with the Potential Employer

The ADA prohibits employers from asking questions that are likely to reveal the existence of a disability before making a job offer (i.e., the pre-offer period). This prohibition covers written questionnaires and inquiries made during interviews, as well as medical examinations. However, such questions and medical examinations are permitted after extending a job offer but before the individual begins work (i.e., the post-offer period).

9. What are examples of questions that an employer cannot ask on an application or during an interview?

Examples of prohibited questions during the pre-offer period include:

Do you have a heart condition? Do you have asthma or any other difficulties breathing?
Do you have a disability which would interfere with your ability to perform the job?
How many days were you sick last year?
Have you ever filed for workers' compensation? Have you ever been injured on the job?
Have you ever been treated for mental health problems?
What prescription drugs are you currently taking?"

As usual, anything to do with PC is such a mix bag, look at the reaction and results of what started out to be a simple question.

Ohio, hate to hurt your feelings, but most employees wouldn't trust their employer with such job ending news, nothing againts you or your sense of honor or fairness. Too many employees cut off and thrown out in the cold.

David CPA - in your case, having been a CFO a time or two, you are in a critical operational position with your firm, and I would have dislose what was needed too. Each case is different.

When I had cancer in the past, and it involved mutiple surgeries, radiation, and physical therapy, my supportive company who was self insured dropped me like a hot rivet. Seven years of hard work down the drain, they couldn't fire me for any legitimate reason or lay me off for health reasons, so they eliminated my entire department which I headed a six state operation. The only department laid off interestingly. SC is a right to work state and you end up not having too many rights as an employee. I worked every single day I was on the brutal head/neck old school radiaton, never missed a single day, kept up with all my work, employees, and obligations. I was just too big a liability to them.

On the other end, the small firm I was working for when I was laid off last year was too small to require COBRA, the state of SC did however require my former employer to offer my health insurance for 6 months. My dx for pc was one month after I was laid off, and yet my former boss not only offered the extended insurance, but paid the premiums for me during that time, to make sure that I could get my operation on schedule and without financial complications.

It so hit and miss out there. Its just like everything else about PC, you end up having to make tough choices. But a person should know their federal and state job protection laws well before spilling the beans in my opinion.

David in SC

I say there is no right or wrong answer here. It's whatever you feel comfortable with. What is honesty ? If I am adked if I ever had cancer, then I say yes. If I am not asked, I don't say anything usually. Is that dishonest ? I don't think so.

Obviously if we are stage 4 and not expected to live long, that is one thing, but if we are able to function well, then it is not really relevant.

Heck, at our ages, some of us have a lot of history that we don't need to or want to divulge, for many reasons.

This is one time when I am glad to be self employed, but I wouldn't expect my new employees to tell me unless it will casue a problem.

First, thanks to all of you for your many good points and thoughts. Geezer - as always - you crack me up, thanks. I think my feelings reflect all responses here (yes I know they are contradictory). So, to make it more real and less conceptual, here is my situation. When I had my first encounter with the cancer a couple of years ago, I told everyone at work and I am glad I did - they were very supportive and compassionate. Then this year I had a re-occurrence. I am 8 SRT treatments away from completing my salvage radiation course. I feel fine and had felt fine even through the neo-adjuvant chemo, so I don't expect my condition to effect my performance any time soon (other than an occasional visit to the doctor). I told my employer of my re-occurrence and they were understanding. I did not feel the same degree of compassion, but they are treating me as well as others. I am 48, in good health (except for PCa), a technology executive for one of the large US banks. In the recent crisis, the bank faired less well than others and there are a lot of changes in progress. I am still employed, but due to restructuring, I have to choose between being demoted or taking a package. So, while I am pondering the question of whether or not to take a package (pretty generous - 6 months of salary plus benefits), I get invited for an interview with a large UK financial firm. The job would re-locate me to London. I had a first interview that went very well and getting ready for a second one next week. As you might imagine, there are a lot of questions in my head. Maybe you guys can help me put it in perspective. 1. (The one already discussed at some length) When is it appropriate to tell the new employer? 2. How is it going to effect my medical coverage? What am I looking for as far as coverage in London? 3. Others, that have to do with taxation, pay, cost of living, etc, that I dont think are appropriate for this forum (but if anybody has a good insight into this, I'd love to talk off line). This forum has always been a source of great support. This time is not an exception. I already got a lot of good thoughts from you guys - as always - thanks a lot! Greg

Ohio, there you go again. What did I ever do to you personally?

I have tried to treat you with respect, that gets me no where. When I have disagreed, I try to do so with diplomacy. Yeah, I am getting sick of getting slammed by you. Why do you think you have some holy grail of knowledge, I don''t appreciate you saying above,
"I have no basis or idea". Who are you to keep judging me. I write from the heart to my fellow brothers and sisters here, I don't pretend to be a doctor, or a master of copy/pasting other peoples words and opinions. So please simply leave me alone in the future. You say I need a hobby, got some good ones. You need a life without this bitterness and hate being spewn toward me all the time. Just put me on your ignore list, and move on with your life.

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

I hold no grudge against your rudeness and condenscending ways, so let's depart in peace.

David in SC

I like it Sheldon ! How can anyone who hasn't lived in the country know much more than having heard from someone who heard from someone.

I know as a Canadian you suffer some of the same rumor/heresay stuff. My sin-in-law is from Alberta. While health care is different in Canada than the U.S., doesn't mean it's better or worse.

By the way, I'll be flying over your head on Thursday, heading to hunting camp in Alberta for a week. Can't wait !

Ohio State,

Honestly and from the heart, this forum is about all things cancer related. Many times that is discussions about medical issues and experiences and many more times it is about HOPE and SUPPORT. I have found both in abundance on this site. I am quite adept at medical research and could have found all of the medical knowledge that I needed for my journey by searching the net. What I have found here goes far beyond that.

Ask any medical professional and they will tell you that with any treatment for anything there has to be hope and a positive attitude that must accompany the treatment for it to be truly successful.

What do you bring to the forum that is positive? Does this omnipotent attitude that you seem to possess prevail in your life everyday? Is there a PHD, MD or some other alphabet that follows your name that we are unaware of? If so you have a lousy bed-side manner. It must be a lonely place where you reside at the top and looking down on us lowly and imperfect mortals.

I have been a sports official for 20 years and have run across every type of mean spirited and argumentative individual there is. But honestly my man you take the prize.

I am just beginning my journey into the life of PCa. I am three plus weeks post surgery and face the the same never ending tests and fears that we all do waiting for the next PSA test. All we have is the hope we carry with us while waiting. We all learn from the trials and tribulations of individuals that others have experienced that have gone before us.

What do I get from you? Do I learn that life with PCa is bitter, angry and not worth the fight? I surely hope not.

You remind me of my mother, who recently has passed. A few years ago she announced that at this point in her life she had decided that she was "just going to be honest and tell it like it is" in the future. I had to tell her that she was not telling it like it is, but rather she had taken the position that she was just being plain RUDE. Her husband of 33 years had passed 10 years ago and the despair had been building. Her official cause of death as listed on the certificate was "Adult Failure to Thrive". She just gave up and found no reason to go on. None of us knew and none of us could have helped. It was a journey she undertook on her own.

You advise others to be honest, to find hobbies and to get lives. Where are you in living your own advice? Is it your contention that we choose lives of being mean spirited and that our hobbies include finding fault with others? If that is the your measurement of success, I am glad to say that I will fail.

I will not choose to select ignoring your posts in the future, for I can learn much from you. By and large my success in life will be measured in how I learn "NOT TO TREAT OTHERS AS YOU DO".

As you have so often requested, this post is as honest as I can be and from the heart.

Sonny