fooling around post surgery

See, David, I told you you were blessed! Oh, the irony of it all.
When will your catheter be coming out? Hang in there, Mister.

Goodlife, it's good to hear about your marriage, something to aspire to!
My husband is a wise man. He knew what i was going through and said to me,
Do you want me to make love to you? the day after the catheter came out. Again, we were very
tentative and gentle and as I said, no intercourse in sight, but the closeness alone and the willingness to approach one another with simple affection at the level we are at right now alleviated some of my fears that our relationship would be changed from all this. Hubby is a steady as she goes kind of guy. I'm very lucky, as is your wife, I see. :)

This thread demonstrates how different doctors follow different protocols. My doctor's written "Sexual Function Rehabilitation" instructions were to achieve climax 8 days after surgery (2 days after catheter removal). Best advice: follow your own doctor's instructions (rather than anyone on the internet)!

soulmate 101 said...
Casey, did the first climax(es) hurt at all?

No.  Felt pretty good, in fact.

Yes, and I am reading too, that erection alone seems to be very beneficial early on after surgery to simply keep the tissue healthy. I'm a person who needs goals. I wish the doctor had said something like, Go home, see if you can have this number of erections per week til we see you again. His directive to do nothing but take viagra, as you can see, is hard to follow.

Last night hubby had maybe a 60% erection, if that, after taking his 25mg with VERY gentle oral stimulation. But it was nothing like our first encounter after surgery, when he had a very limp penis and almost climaxed. This was much more therapeutic, not very "sexy" We were both spooked by the idea that orgasm too early could be harmful.

This more elongated state found him sort of "leaning" to the side from his body. Something that was always mildly present, but seemed a bit more pronounced last night. (???) Is this normal?
He says his sensations are good and pleasurable.
You all must think I am obsessed with my husband's penis. I probably am. I think I need to go watch a funny movie or do something completely unrelated!
We are only eleven days post surgery. He is essentially pain free, has some soreness at his umbilical wound and is doing his kegels. He has a bit of leaking when he gets up quickly from sitting, or if he coughs, but says that if he thinks about it and tightens his muscles first, it helps alot.
Thanks for listening. On another thread, someone mentioned that there is more to life than sex, yes, however, for partners who have been very active all along, this is obviously an issue that is high on the priority list. I'm gearing myself up for the long haul. this is all so new, and I know it could take months or years for us to have intercourse again.

Soulmate,

No question on here is right or wrong and this has meaning to you. I am 8 months post op and due to post op medical problems I had to delay ED rehab. Last night my wife and I cooked supper here at home and had a glass of wine and a romantic evening. No climax for me and not a full erection but was able to help my wife have an orgasm. I sure had fun and the fun lasted for over an hour. It is not what it used to be, and it may never be but I still have the desire and I will find a way to enjoy myself and hopefully bring joy to my wife. And I am in my first week of IMRT. You and your hubby are way ahead of where I was at that stage and my guess is that someday it will be almost like old times for the two of you. But, yes go see a movie. My wife dragged me to "It's Complicated" last wekend and I thought it was just a womens movie but I laughed out loud. Good to get away from PCa for awhile. Best to you and your family.

Michael

tatt2man said...
...and do keep in mind - climaxing and penetration after surgery are two distinct things -

Uh, correct.

Here's some of the wording which UMich publishes on Sexual Rehab encouraging vaginal penetration at the earliest opportunity...I added the underlining for emphasis

Sexual recovery is typically more gradual than urinary recovery.  The return of sexual function varies depending on your age, previous function, and the extent of the tumor.  For those men who have return of erections, it is a gradual process.  Most men do not have erections sufficient for vaginal penetration immediately after catheter removal.  Erection recovery can take months or years; during this period, medications can be used to help your erections be firmer and more durable.  Many men, however, do experience improvement over the first year after the operation.  The stimuli for erection during the first year will also be different.  Visual stimuli will be less effective, and physical stimulation will be more effective.  For this reason, do not be afraid to experiment with sexual activity-you can do no harm.  If you obtain a partial erection, attempt vaginal penetration-this form of stimulation is a major factor to enhance further erection.  Do not wait until you have the “perfect erection” before attempting intercourse.  In addition, you should be able to have an orgasm even if you do not have an erection.  With orgasm, there will not be an emission of semen because the prostate and seminal vesicles have been removed.  There will be many aids available to assist in getting an erection.   Your doctor will discuss this in detail with you.

This coincides with the instructions from my doctor.  However, not all doctors follow the same protocol.

As I said before, the best advice is to follow your doctor's instructions (and not inputs from the internet).