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Posted 10/7/2010 10:30 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Everyone,

I've been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, I'm a Gleason 6, my PSA is 4.8. No symptoms of the cancer besides the elevated PSA and the resulting positive biopsy. At this point I've decided (I could still change my mind on this) to have the Prostectomy with the davinci robot. I lost my wife to lung cancer (non smoker, never smoked!) over two years ago and live alone now.  I have family members that can help to a degree, but they have their own lives and concerns. I'll have a few days of help then I'm going to pretty much be on my own. I know everyones recovery time is going to be different, but how long can I expect to be dependent on others for help getting around, preparing simple meals, maybe doing a load of laundry, etc.? 

Thanks!

Ray

Posted 10/7/2010 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Ray,

Good question to ask. I can tell you that for myself, I was in the hospital for 5 days. After I was home, it took a couple of days getting some help and then wasn't too much of a problem taking care of myself after that. I probably could have taken care of myself the day I got home...but I have a wife that was very insistant that she handled every little whim or request or need that I had. I honestly didn't mind the attention either.

But my surgery went pretty well. If there are complications of any kind then maybe a relative can stay a few days longer in your case.
Posted 10/7/2010 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Ray and welcome to the board nobody wants to join...

First, how old are you? How is your overall physical condition? Weight problems? All these things play a role in recovery time from surgery. I'm 68, pretty good shape, had robotic five weeks ago and I'm back to 100% except ED...I was able to walk a mile (two turns around the block) the second day post surgery..I was in the hospital overnight..Catherer and pee bag is a royal pain (for 10 days)..You will have zero appetite for a couple of days..Some of that liquid diet supplement stuff like "Boost" works well to restore energy..NO LIFTING more than 5 pounds for a while. They will slowly increase that. No driving with the catheter..

I had no pain, no complications, By day 4, was 80% recovered, day 6, 90%...Walk, walk, walk...It REALLY helps get things moving again, you can't just sit around...

Many others will help you here, so I'll let them chime in..Best of luck to you!
Posted 10/7/2010 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Ray, I am so sorry about the loss of your wife, and now your PCa. That's a difficult row to hoe for sure. Fortunately, you have come to a good place here for information and council. The people on this board are superb and I am confident you will get the information you need during this difficult journey you are starting. I had my surgery a year ago, but I received a ton of help from my family, especially for about 2 weeks post-op. Hopefully, your family can help you a little during the early healing period, especially the first few days after you get home from the hospital. Please keep us informed about your journey.

By the way, have your read Dr. Patrick Walsh's book, "a guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer"? If not, it is highly recommended. Also, have you found the absolute best surgeon in your area? That last point is crucial for your ultimate success at a cure. God Bless.
Posted 10/7/2010 11:17 PM (GMT 0)
ray

welcome aboard, you will have many friends here to advise and support you

so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, all cancer is evil

i had open surgery, so can't answer you clearly, and i am married to a nurse, unfair advantage

good luck, and please keep us posted

david in sc
Posted 10/7/2010 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks to all of you for your responses and kind words of encouragement! I sincerely appreciate them all.

Thanks Les. I do have family that can help the first few days.

Fairwind I'm 61 and in good physical condition, I usually take my dog for a mile and a half walk every day, I'd like to lose maybe 5 lbs before the surgery but on no more. My doctor is Dr. Pow Sang at Moffitt, he's evry good.

Red Nifgthawk I read about Dr. Walsh's book here and ordered it from Amazon, it's a great book; very informative.

Purgatory you're absolutely right, cancer is nothing but evil. I've seen so many wonderful people taken by it.

Thanks again to all,
Ray
Posted 10/7/2010 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
Ray,

I was diagnosed @ age 61 with PCa, and I had open surgery last February. I'm currently single and was at the time of my surgery. My next door neighbor drove me fifty miles to the Mayo Clinic, Jacksonville, Florida for my surgery. My sister flew in from PA on a Tuesday which was a day after my surgery. She drove me to my home on Wednesday when I was released. She spent Wednesday and Thursday Nights sixty miles away in a Jacksonville Beach Hotel because she tied this trip into her work, so she wasn't even around if I had a blood clot end up in a lung or other emergency. She flew out of Jacksonville on Friday, and once again I was alone. I had no problems handling my needs even with "open" surgery. I had stocked my freezer with microwave meals before surgery, and I had stocked up on pads and depends which I never needed. I had to depend on my neighbor to drive me fifty miles back to the Mayo Clinic for a few follow-up visits. You shouldn't have any problems.........

Post Edited (Sunbird) : 10/7/2010 5:55:09 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/8/2010 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
Ray,

I'll add a voice to the welcome wagon, but needing to be here isn't the high point of one's life.

I am a bit younger, and single as well. I got the house ready - moved stuff that would be in the way with the catheter tube & bag (that tube will hang on anything sticking out, and you will know it immediately), stocked the kitchen with easy, microware type stuff (the doc forbade actual cooking while on pain killers - don't want to set yourself or the house on fire), made sure everything was clean, extra clean sheets, extra cheap pillows to keep me from rolling over on the catheter, all the shopping done (I bought pads and depends which I burned through fast, and still have to use), arranged the kitchen and bathroom to not require leaning over for anything (you won't be able to do that for a while). Got one of the "grabbers". If you drop something, it may just have to stay there for a while.

See the "List" posted by English Alf at the top of the forum, it has a lot of good ideas from our various adventures.

I had family come into town for the trip to the hospital and stay. I was in the hospital 4 days after DaVinci - yes, everyone says "wow, came home the next day", but it did not work out that way for me. They stayed with me a week - until the catheter came out. For the several weeks after that, I begged on friends and neighbors ("if you have reason to go to the store, don't forget me"). Made friends with the folks at the local grocery, and discovered they were happy to repackage things, cut stuff up, whatever they could to help. Got a friend to take me to the followup.

Once I was released to drive, things settled down.

If you don't have any home support, check on your insurance. I had allowance, but did not use it, for a visiting nurse-type arrangement for a few days after discharge.

Enough for now - Welcome again!

Posted 10/8/2010 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
Sunbird thanks for responding, I've got great neighbors, it sound like you have them too! I'm sure I can get help from them. My next door neighbor had Prostate surgery 5 years ago by the same doctor that'll be cutting on me. He told me I would do just fine as long as he was my doctor, that made me feel really good!

Veteran Member, great idea about eliminating clutter and the grabber is a great idea. also a lot to be said about the microwavable dinners and such.
Ray
Posted 10/8/2010 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
I see a whole lot of great suggestions here. I would second the suggestion that you review the "List." I especially suggest you have at the ready appropriate attire for wear with the catheter, both during the day at home, for outdoors, and for sleeping. We went to Wal-Mart and bought some inexpensive loose fitting athletic shorts for night wear, and at Walgreens found some very inexpensive baggy shorts that I wore when walking outdoors wearing the hip bag. I don't know where you live, but it's getting chilly here in northern Illinois, so I would have to re-think some of the clothing choices. Shorts season is ending here.

I found I was completely unfamiliar with the catheter bags and associated hardware, and how to change from the night bag to the hip bag, how to clean them correctly, and so forth. My R. N. wife handled all that the first day or two, but if I were alone, I would want to know how to do that from the start. It's easy to find explanations online, but actually handling the gear beforehand would be even better.

You won't be able to drive while wearing the catheter (well, I could have but was ordered not to).

My daughter-in-law's mother is an operating tech and sent over some O.R. sheeting that I put on the bed where I slept in case of an accident. That turned out to be unnecessary, but it was reassuring to have it there.

One thing I would add and which I've not seen discussed before: if anyone has sleep apnea, I have a list of suggestions, including insisting on taking your own CPAP machine, hose, and mask to the hospital instead of using equipment borrowed from inhalation therapy. If anyone is interested, I posted the ideas on the SleepNet forum recently.

Good luck. If things go well, you should only need a bit of help for the first couple of days. Let us know how it goes.
Posted 10/8/2010 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
clocknut,

bein g that i was on the SP catheter for nearly a year before this latest op, I was allowed to drive with cath and leg bag. Like all things, it took being careful and safe. But always a constant worry, getting in and out of car. I bought special devices to hold the Y of the cath to my upper thigh, that had swivel devices, so that the rest of the cath tube would move properly with the movement of my legs.

if i had a full bag in a parking lot, became a master at pretending to bend down and tie my shoe (even though I wear loafters) and could empty a leg bag in an instant. Just looked like coolant running under my car, lol.

but if the doctor say no, then no is the right answer.

david in sc
Posted 10/8/2010 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
Ray - you picked a very well regarded doctor.  That might be the most important step of all.  I wish you the best.

 

Posted 10/8/2010 2:25 AM (GMT 0)
Ray, I just did a little quick research on your doctor. Coincidentally, a couple of guys on this forum, all the way back to 2005, had him as their surgeon. It would be interesting if they are still active on the board. At least one of them has an active email.

Here's the link to the old thread in case you want to write to these guys:

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=377209

peace
Posted 10/8/2010 2:49 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Ray and welcome to our site. I was 70 when I had my open RRP and
was 4 days in the hospital. Much like you, I live alone (divorced many years ago
and no children), but had no problems looking after myself. If your healing
proceeds normally you should be ok by yourself as long as you take it easy for a few weeks and don't do any heavy lifting during that time. Listen to the advise from your Dr. Hope this helps a bit to put your mind at ease.

All the best to you.

Mag

Posted 10/8/2010 10:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Ray,

At age 66, and in fairly good health, I spent three nights in Cleveland Clinic.  Came home to Erie Pa on Saturday afternoon (9-11-2010) .  I did have my wife to help. However, I slept in a spare bedroom in order that I not disturb her. Some of the things I found that helped during the night, and prevented me from waking her:

  • Glass of water and medication on nightstand within reach. Also a flashlight
  • Extra pillows at end of bed in event I had to elevate legs for water retention
  • Small hand towel that can be folded into quarters or thirds in event you need to "create" a sling for your scrotum if you would experience swelling. This can be a little scary, but not as bad as it seems
  • Extra cough pillow to hold against stomach to ease any discomfort or mild pain Note: if they send you home with a "drain" do not hold the pillow to tight as it may squeeze the fluid out of the "bulb"
  • Night light to find way to bathroom or around house or to empty cath. They say blue or green low light is the best color as it does not wake you as much
  • Extra pads, etc. in case when you have to change during night after cath comes out
  • Hit the hospital up for some extra blue "leak" pads for post cath
  • The most important thing is take a  lot of optimism wherever you go, and remember that things will get better, some things quickly, some things a little slower, but it gets better with each passing day

Wishing you the best,

Mr. Bill

PS You came to the right forum for advice and support. I am glad I found it.

Posted 10/8/2010 10:40 AM (GMT 0)

Good idea on review the wardrobe for proper attire clocknut, I'll check it out. I had a catheter last September for a couple of days after ingual hernia surgery so I'm at least familiar with them.

Purgatory I'm hoping I won't have to drive with the catheter,but those are great tips if that becomes a necessity.

Thanks Medved, I know Dr. Pow Sang is regarded as one of the best.

Red Nighthawk, I'll be checking that thread out, thanks!

Magaboo I agree the best strategy will be to be very careful for a while when attempting to do things. I think we all get impatient and probably try doing things we shouldn't too early.

Thanks and wish everyone the best,

Ray

Posted 10/8/2010 12:06 PM (GMT 0)
Ray, first I'd like to say how sorry I am to hear of your wife's death...been hearing of too many "non-smoker" lung cancers lately and wonder what the heck is going on here.

Second, sorry to hear that you have prostate cancer and that you are facing surgery.

My husband had robotic surgery 2 1/2 years ago. His recovery was quite unremarkable...the biggest issue for him was that darn catheter which came out about 9 days after surgery. As far as "doing" for yourself, some things might be more difficult such as getting dressed because of the catheter. Suggest you buy yourself some pants (with elastic waist) one size larger than you normally wear...this provides much easier movement and less tugging on the rubber snake.

You should be able to shower comfortable by yourself and can take the catheter bag into the shower with you (we were told to lay it on the floor of the tub and not worry about it). The only advice our surgeon gave my husband regarding the shower was to not let the water hit the staples (my husband had 5 of them) but to place a washcloth over the slits when rinsing. The surgeon did say to gently wash with mild soap to aid in healing and keep them clean. Once out of the shower, gently pat dry with the towel, put some antibiotic ointment over them, and you're good to go. When wearing clothing, doctor advised putting a band aid over the staples so that the clothing didn't catch on the staples (they're ugly to look at but my husband didn't have any pain from them).

Driving was a no no for a couple of weeks but this is SOP with any abdominal surgery. You will be restricted as to how much weight you can lift (can't remember how much but you should be given an instruction sheet when discharged from the hospital). You should have no problems preparing your own meals but may have difficulty reaching up to grab things so might want to consider putting those things you use most (pots, pans, etc.) on the counter or within easy reach.

Solid food can be introduced gradually into your diet AFTER you have your first BM. For my husband, that happened 24 hours after being released from the hospital, and he was gradually add normal foods back into his diet. Stool softeners are often recommended as they aid in the process and you don't want to strain too much on the toilet. He took those every day for several days until he felt his system was back to normal on its own.

Your stats look good for a successful outcome after surgery.Do you have a surgery date yet?

Stay with us, Ray...we'll get you through this.
Posted 10/8/2010 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
Ray,

Jjust the fact that you are on here asking about post op. care tells me that you will most likely do just fine. I had my robotic in July and actually was able to care for myself with practically no help (although I had my wife and kids available).

You should be sure someone is available to drive you for your follow-up to remove the cathetor, I don't think I would have liked doing that on my own.

Also, before surgery if you can fit a small table in your bathroom with all the necessary supplies on it: pads, wipes, towels, etc. - it makes getting ready for bed and getting up easier as you don't have to search around and bend over for your stuff.

You also might want to get some nice loose fitting sweat pants so that dressing is easier.

I am glad you found this site, it was HUGE help to me during recovery as the folks here are so kind and willing to share their experiences. Best wishes to you.

 

Posted 10/8/2010 9:20 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Mr. Bill for the suggestions, especially the nightstand stuff, who needs a clock radio there anyway?

Sephie, Thanks for the condolences, my wife and I were married 33 years (only marriage for either of us); she was a wonderful person. I like all your ideas, especially about utilizing countertops.

Freinda thanks for the ideas, I'll be sure to put that small table in my bathroom!

Posted 11/17/2010 11:04 PM (GMT 0)

I met with Dr. Pow Sang at Moffitt today, I'm scheduled to have the prostatectomy on Dec.16. He said I would do fine with either the prostatectomy or the seed implants, his only concern was that I've had an appendectomy and inguinal hernia repair on both sides, but he said, "Don't worry, we can work around that.". So I guess I'm good to go!

Ray

Posted 11/18/2010 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Ray - First off, I am sorry for you loss and sorry you are joining our "club." As you know, cancer is a terrible disease.

Many good comments here, so I don't have a lot to add other than my own experience. I too am age 61 and went through da Vinci 10/29. Two day hospital stay and had my catheter removed a week later. Once off pain meds, was pretty much able to do whatever necessary to take care of myself. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity. Walking was helpful. The greatest challenge was feeling good and then overdoing. You can be going along just fine and then all of a sudden find yourself tired.
Posted 11/20/2010 11:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for responding Pocketman, any input's appreciated. Good to be aware that you can tire suddenly. How much walking were you able to do before tiring?

I've had several people tell me how fortunate I am to have prostate cancer instead of some of the other cancers. and while this is true it's still cancer. It's like poisonous snakes, one may kill you faster than another but they're all still poisonous snakes! I hate cancer, all of 'em!
Ray
Posted 11/20/2010 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Ray

You are definitely among friends that care and share your concerns. You are going to be fine. Just take it one day at a time and hold your head up high. A friend on this web site told me the same thing and it still remains a benchmark for me to hold my head up high. You obviously are a strong willed man from the sound of your message, and I wish for you God's speed and a successful journey.

Tom

Posted 11/20/2010 4:09 PM (GMT 0)
Ray
Sorry to read about your wife and you having to join this terrible club. My wife id everything for me but I could easily have done for myself. The only thing I would suggest is putting your dog in a kennel or have someone take it for 10 - 14 days. It would be a lot easier on you. When the dog does come home find someone (or hire) to walk your dog for a few weeks.
I have 2 60 lb dogs and I would have had trouble walking them for the first 3-4 weeks.
Posted 11/20/2010 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
My first walk was 8-10 hours after my surgery. I felt like a weeble. Next day I was able to get around the hospital fairly well. With the catheter I limited myself to 2-3 blocks around the neighborhood. Once the catheter was removed I ventured off to the park adjacent to our neighborhood. Go half as far as your body feels good at. I made a mistake and took off into the wild blue and found myself resting on a park bench before I felt up to walking back.

Listen to your body and find a balance between activity and rest.

Steve
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