Beginning to really dread the weekends here.

i just thought it was slower on the weekends.  being contentious is a sign of life for some people so it's probably not all bad .

ed

No comment. That isn't even the real issue, has nothing to do with the weekend.

Well said corvette man.

corvetteman3 said...
I just dont understand why people want to get disturbed on a forum. People post their thoughts. If you disagree with them thats fine. If you agree you can post your point. We are all grown men. If I find a thread that is bothersome to me I jsut skip of it and dont open it any more.

Life is too short to get in a pissing contest over words on a forum. I am here for support and to give support. Thats it plain and simple.

Guys I give you great respect for all that you do here.

Cajun jeff

Jeff, basically I do agree with you. If I make a post I expect others who don't agree with what I have to say to either post a different point of view or point out where I may be wrong. But some posters want to use the forum to demonstrate what they feel is their intellectual superiority and treat the differing views of others with contempt. When this happens you are going to get a reaction. The key to harmony is agree to disagree but do it with respect.
Bill

At the same time, we need to refrain from saying whatever comes into our head. I hear inflammatory statements from guys on here who feel they are being inflamed. It is a 2 way street. No, that is not a slam, or indirect remark about anyone. We all are guilty at different times.

James, we do appreciate your patience with a bunch of guys who are a little cranky. It is this darn PC that gets us up on the wrong side of bed every morning.

Maybe we need a gloves off chat room somewhere where we can duke it out once in s while.

I've only been here about a year but I've noticed a trend toward more arguments and less respect for other people's views and treatment choices. I've almost quit visiting due to the thin skins and chips on some folks shoulders. Pity the new sufferer who checks in on a thread looking for help during a scary time and sees a bunch of 3rd grade schoolyard behavior.

This is still the best forum on the net but I think some folks are getting a bit argumentative just because they have developed a dislike for other members. BillyMac said it best, if you disagree do it with respect.

Kbota, Wow I did not know you were that deep! :) Just kidding buddy. Very well said. Another view in that same regard is we let the PC Break or Make us.. It is our choice. I choose to allow it to make me better and stronger. Good can come from Bad!

Cajun jeff

I have seen plenty of heated discussion on surgery vs radiation and on the benefits and drawbacks of active survellience. And quite honestly that's it and 95% of the time although these discussions are heated because people believe in certain things, they are civil.

Like questionsaboutit, I do not see the problem, I think most of these problems are perception because people dont communicate as well as they should. I find this site extremely supportive and very useful. Occasionally people stray and break a rule - talk about religion or disrespect somebody else but if you count how many posts happen everyday I would bet that less of 1% of this posts need to be removed which is a great stat. The reason for this is our moderators jumping on problems early - thank you guys!

An

James,

Thanks for the reminders about maintaining basic civility on the forum. 

I think that if we members state our own experience and primarily try to be supportive of others rather than support a viewpoint to the extreme then discussions stay away from personal attacks.

A key to a good forum is good moderators.  I have known you and Tony for several years and know that we are privileged at this forum to have two awesome moderators. This is a significant time commitment and a thankless task.  Thank you to you and Tony for your watchful eyes on the forum!

Tim

Totally agree with An38 above. I would only add one more point. When I think (rarely) that someone is steping over the line....I just stop reading and go to the next post. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to read it...or react to it. I just hit my internal "delete" button.

Moderators do a great job!

Sorry the Mod's have had a tough time keeping the board centered on its true mission. You guys are doing a great job. Rest, relax and recharge!

I agree with Joe67. I just slide right by the flames when they flare up. I for one, have had a very positive and helpful experience here.

Keep it up!

James, I guess the time-and-a-half on the weekends makes it all worthwhile, though... Here’s an important aspect for both moderators and members to keep in mind.   [Tongue in cheek, for those who don’t recognize it as such (with a tip of the hat to Wikipedia) although I suspect most of us could identify a couple guys who follow this religiously.]   At HealingWell, sometimes discussions turn into debates and get heated.   Whenever this occurs, it is of primary importance that you always ensure that you get THE LAST WORD. At HW, even more than in real life, getting the last word in a debate is critical, as it is the only proof of your argumentative success over competing posters.   The following is a useful collection of suggestions on why and how to obtain your right to have the last word, however tenaciously you opponent may be trying to rob you of your privilege.   Reasons for getting the last word Getting the last word means that you win the debate. It also shows your moral superiority, and willingness to stand your ground. This should convince your opponent that you are correct, and will certainly impress your fellow prostate cancer patients. It is particularly important to get the last word where you are in some doubts as to the merits of your case. The last word will serve as a clinching argument that will make up for any deficiencies in your logic. Achieving the last word now also brings the advantage that you may subsequently point to your success in this debate as the clinching argument in future debates. However, if you did not win the last discussion, we still recommend claiming incessantly that you did.   How to get the last word Often, your opponent will not understand the importance of the last word and will readily concede the ground to you (in which case it's nevertheless mandatory to rub it in his face on subsequent HW threads). However, sometimes your opponent is well aware of this HW convention and will attempt to wrongfully deprive you of your right. Do not give ground to such intimidation. Pursue your case with fortitude and vigor. If your actual arguments have already been stated on the thread, do not fear to repeat them in a slightly different form. CAPITALISING YOUR ARGUMENT, or bolding sections, can be used to give variety if you fear you are being repetitive. Debates are like boxing matches. Try to make your opponent do the footwork so they get exhausted while you preserve your energy for the final blow last word. If they bring any arguments you cannot immediately refute, play dumb and ask for clarification, it helps wear off the adversary's patience. Ask for more sources and better sources (ideally in that order). If they insolently keep providing answers, arbitrarily stop replying for a while. Better yet, point out that their answer dodges the real question, which is something tangentially (if at all) related to your original point. In the last resort, it is advisable to cite any convenient HW rules that you think may be helpful to your cause, and seek to silence your adversary by making vague calls for the moderators to intercede.   After all, one brief quotation of a HW rule says more than a thousand words, and it's an elegant way to get the last word in case the other b*****d user just won't concede the ground. Hopefully this helps lift sprirts around here.  Happy Holidays.