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Posted 2/13/2011 3:13 AM (GMT 0)

Hunter,

Although I don’t see a lot of people talking about it, depression after surgery is very real. I am pretty much a happy-go-lucky person most of the time. I have strong faith in God and know that everything happens for a reason. However, I went through bouts of depression after my surgery that I just couldn’t explain. I’ve never been depressed before and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I totally understand now when people try and explain depression to me. The good news is that it’s not permanent; it leaves almost as quickly as it comes on. I’m sure there are medical reasons why it happens after surgery but I probably wouldn’t understand them. As for the ED, I can relate to that too, it is a very real part of the treatment for this disease. I am 19 months post op and I still deal with this, although, I am encouraged that there does seem to be life stirring there as of late. The recovery process for ED is different for everyone. Some guys seem to bounce right back after surgery and some seem to take longer. Keep the faith, time helps the healing process. You are in a good place with this forum; you will find many people willing to help.

Lynn

Posted 2/13/2011 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
Best thing that ever happened for my recovery was getting divorced. A loveless marriage is hard enough but add RP and believe me when I understand where you are coming from. I was divorced in April 2010'. I waited 2 months to let my mind clear and then started the dating process even though I wasn't close to being 100%. I dated four or five girls and then like magic found the most incredible woman. We have been dating for nearly 8 months and my recovery is complete. Sure, working out and eating right help but the right person in your life is probably 99% of it. Not telling you what to do but if she moved out I think you should move on. There are literally thousands of women that will not only be understanding but will want to help you recover. Someone that unsure of things will only suppress the healing process.

T40... errr 42
Posted 2/13/2011 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Susan,

I agree with Skate. Most women are nothing like you; your husband is very lucky.

In fairness, most men aren't gems either.

Ah, the desperation that sets in as we realize that time is growing short ....

Zen9
Posted 2/13/2011 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Susan,

What a truly great and heart felt answer. My wife of nearly 37 years would agree with you word by word.

David
Posted 2/13/2011 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your support. I love this place. And Susan, send some of your friends our way LOL
Posted 2/13/2011 7:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hunter -- i never understood why she left, and i know there are two sides to every story.  was it because of decreased sexual performance or depression...maybe both?   erections have been pretty much non-existent here for more than a year but my wife and i are closer now than ever.  sure we both get frustrated -- her even more than me because i have no libido whatsoever and she is in her sexual prime.

have you read dana jenning's blog?  it's really quite interesting and pithy and deals with many issues that we face.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/15/after-surviving-cancer-a-focus-on-true-manhood/

good luck to you.

ed

 

Posted 2/14/2011 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hunter

First of all congratulations on addressing PC. 

I tried injections, viagra, cialis etc but they didn't work because of nearve removal and damage when operated on - cancer surround the nerves.

I was 50 when I had the problem.   I have been using the vacuum pump for 10 years.

All though not ideal - can't just jump to it, it does work and does give satisfactory love making for both me and my wife. 

My wife and I discussed the consequence of the operation prior to having the RP.

Sorry to hear about you fiancee.   I don't know what to say.

Have you looked into the pump and the rings.  They do work.   Maybe looking into those and also discuss with your fiancee.

There is all the IPP but there are more on here to discuss that option.

Good Luck and hopefully all will work out.

Tom

 

Posted 2/14/2011 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
Tom... I have heard that the use of the rings to help you stay erect causes it to be "cold". Is this the case?
Posted 2/14/2011 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
the rings will cause it to be cold only if they are too tight - you want blood to flow in and slow down going out - if you stop all blood flow, bad news! - practice makes perfect -
-an alternative to the pump and the rings are a pump and adjustable caulkring... around base of mr. happy and behind the balls ...
-has been very effective maintaining rigidity...
-just remember your piano teacher - practice - practice - practice...
Posted 2/25/2011 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Susan I just read your post on sex and intimacy. The thoughts that you conveyed there is almost the exact discussion my wife and I had on determining which form of treatment to do.
My wife and I have been married almost 31 years.I'm 53 and she is#%(get it?). I have a history of cancer, not prostate,in my family and I knew it had to come out, but I was worried about her and her needs as a woman. After my second visit to the URO, we talked and she told me that it was more important to her that I be around a while longer, than the sex would ever be. That was the clincher right there.
We just think that this whole process is just ridiculous and that an organ the size of a walnut can cause so much havoc in our lives.
You sound like an incredible woman and Micheal is LUCKY to have you in his life.
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