Casey, you said, "I didn't realize that so clearly when I was a noobie."
I don't know if you're directing the "noobie" reference at me, or in general, but it's a term I would gladly see done away with. Many "noobies" are bright, well educated, thoughtful, people who have already done their homework on prostate cancer. Many are not, but labeling someone a "noobie" makes them and their opinions seem less signiificant than veteran members. Just my opinion.
Actually, my son and I have already had this conversation, shortly after my diagnosis. I was telling him that I was nervous about the surgery because, like so many, I feared the possible SE's of incontinence and impotence. He was strong in the opinion, even then, that although he's only just shy of 40, he would put the impotence, in particular, way down on his list of worries, and that I should, too. Incontinence, he thought, would be harder to live with than impotency. Sometimes we learn from our children.
I'm pretty sure his temperament is similar to mine, and that like me, he'd rather have the surgery than live with a known cancer in his body.
Some of us just aren't psychologically suited to do AS, and that's a legitimate reaction. For example, if a cardiologist told me I had a possible aortic aneurism, that it likely might never become a problem, and that one choice would be to wait for it to worsen, I'm pretty sure I would opt for surgery now, rather than wait and see what might happen; others might understandably choose to wait and see. Both are personal choices, and both are reasonable. I know that analogies are never perfect, but I only brought it up to try to illustrate that different people choose different paths of treatment. They need to be told of all available options, but ultimately it's a very private, individual decision.