Tony, if, and only if there are any confirmed mets out of this process, then my new oncologist and I will be on an entirely new and different track. All options for advanced treatment will be on the table, regardless of whether I agree or like the choices, I am trusting on his expertise and experience with advanced PC cases. I tend to work on one step at the time, so until there is either confirmation of mets, which my current medical staff and I certainly hope there isn't, I am continuing on the current game plan. I am ok with all of this, believe it or not.
If you look at my whole history involving PC, the cancer has been bent on the fast track. It brings to home, a point made by some PC experts, that certain Gleason 7 cases can be very dangerous and unpredictable. So far, the cancer has a mind and plan of its own, despite the failed treatments. Not all agree, but I still feel that my case is the perfect "poster child" for those that believe strongly that extreme PSA velocity in the year before dx is an extreme risk factor, despite attempts to cure and/or slow down the cancer. There is nothing in my journey that makes me think differently.
I am far from giving up hope, don't want anyone to interpret that with my level of calm and how I am going about
things, but as a realist with very pragmatic views about
life in general, I realize that my efforts, both past and future may be in vain, and this beast called PC may very well take me down and out, before a time of my choosing.
I know we can't discuss the "R" word in detail here, but in the bigger picture of my entire life, I am even ok knowing that. Sometimes all you can do, is to accept the cards that are dealt to you, and make the best out of it. That's not giving up or being a defeatist, its being practical.
I got a good oncologist, a good urologist, a good GP, and now a top notch Ortho doctor. Any future treatments, even though they won't be curative at this juncture, will be determined on what is found out, and how the cancer progresses over the next few months.
My appearent calmness isn't a gimic, its just how I operate. I tend to adjust to new realities pretty fast in my head. I calculate my options and current status, and try to be content in whatever state I am in at the time.
We all work through difficulties in life differently, that's for sure. And as they say, you can't really judge a person's path, unless you are walking in their shoes, or something like that. Next month, will be my 3rd year anniversiary of getting the dreaded PC diagnosis. When I look back, what an amazing ride its been so far. When I was first told of it, in my mind, I simply thought I would submit to a non-nerve sparing
open Operation, recover from it quickly, and move on with my life as before. There was no way I could have understood the complexities and odd paths that PC can take.
David in SC
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 7/8/2011 9:47:53 PM (GMT-6)