Walkbyfaith: You said, "I am pretty devout in my faith and look up to the sky when the pain, and fear feel so heavy. I do have moments of why? Why do we have to go through this? I don't have the answer now. I feel like we are in the thick of this and have to trust that one day we will know why. If I lose faith and hope, I have nothing."
A book that helped me come to terms with my diagnosis was a slim little volume by Archbishop Cardinal Joseph Bernardin of Chicago who died of pancreatic cancer. The book is called "The Gift of Peace."
This book really offers something for anyone, regardless of their attitude toward religion and spirituality, but I usually don't mention it here because I don't want to initiate a religious war. It's not a religious tract, but it does show how one man came to terms with his cancer, with the suffering that he had to endure, and (in his case) with the reality of his own imminent death. (not something you should be worried about).
I only mention it because of your comments in this thread and because of the moniker you've chosen here, and because of the way it calmed my own fears.
Mods: If this recommendation violates the rules, feel free to delete it. I can't help it that Bernardin was a man of the cloth. It's just a very good read.
Post Edited (clocknut) : 1/15/2012 2:01:18 PM (GMT-7)