Wife time off from work

I have RALP scheduled in April and my wife needs to figure out if she'll miss much work taking care of me.

How long did your spouse (or other) need away from work to tend to your care?

One of the advantages of minimally invasive surgery is the rapid recovery...and you have indicated that you are also planning a Robotically-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy (RALP), so your results should be similar.

One day—the day of surgery—and the next day to check-out of the hospital & drive home (40 mile drive) was all that was needed in my case.

 

Post Edited (Casey59) : 3/14/2012 10:30:34 AM (GMT-6)

Hello: Naturally, figure the day of the opertion + 2 to 3 more after that at the most. Many of your needs can be carefully scheduled before she leaves in the morning and then the rest can be done as soon as she gets home. Just in case, it is a good idea to have a neighbor's or close-by relative's phone number on hand just in case. Then figure another day when the cath comes out (if you can't schedule the appointment later in the day/early evening). But, you are 56 years old and should be more or less self-sufficient when you come home from the hosptial. Don't worry too much, it is not that bad.

Bill from NJ

My wife came in with me at 5:45 AM, left to do work, came back when I'd be in the recovery room. So, that day blown, but not totally (no point in her sitting around the hospital during, we both figured.)

Next day, came in and picked me up. You want boxers and baggy sweatpants, even if you normally don't wear either - accommodates the catheter. When it comes out, you want briefs, even if you don't normally wear those, for effective use of pads.

If your bed is low, you might consider raising it temporarily. The main thing I really needed help with the first few days was getting out of bed, since those muscles were all cut up, and medicating them into oblivion seemed like a sure way to tear something. They only hurt significantly when I tried to use them to get myself out of bed. After about 3-4 days, I could manage that myself without undue pain. Once out of bed, I could get up and down from chairs, toilet etc. easily enough even the first day home. Chairs with armrests are easier, as your arms can help more with standing up.

I helped take care of my hubby. I completely ditto what Pseudo and Alf had to say. Hubby's surgery was on a Friday. I would say by Thursday of the next week he was getting around. He chose to stay home while he had a catheter. We got him XL PJ's and cut a nice slit in the crouch area big enough to pull the bag through. He then put a belt around his waist (loose) and hooked his bag onto the belt. :) This worked great for him for him. I would suggest your wife take several (3 to 4) days off from work.

I had surgery RALP on Wednesday morning. I was home at noon on Thursday. My wife took off from work Wednesday to Friday and by Monday I was able to take care of myself.  She took off the following Wednesday afternoon to take me back to have the catheter taken out as i couldn't drive myself. She also works at the same hospital that I had my surgery but refused to work that first 3 days.

I had family both local and out of town that wanted to come down and help take care of me, but I didn't really want any of the drama around me that would have entailed. After the catheter came out I was able to drive to the store and work in my office for my business located in my basement. I was surprised how quick I recovered and at 3 weeks my URO released me to do anything physical I could do. I sell, install and service point of use purified drinking water systems for offices and was able to work 4 to 5 hours a day the first 6 weeks.  I was only limited by how exhausted I would get after 2 pm every day. By the 4th week I was able to lift my heavy (65lb) water machines without hurting myself..

Terry

I had out-of-town family come to help, who stayed a week - long enough to get the cath out. Since my apartment is tiny, they stayed at a nearby residence hotel, so in reality were only around in the daytime. I live alone, and at the time had few close friends near enough to help.

I had DaVinci, but was kept in the hospital for 4 days (so much for the get out quick idea). That was actually a good thing looking back.

I had the same 5-pound lift limit, almost three months. I was not allowed to drive until almost 4 weeks after surgery, and the first trip out was almost unmanageable. I did beg rides to the grocery store when needed, and if I just had to be in the office, someone would drop by and give me a ride.

I had overstocked the pantry just in case I couldn't get out, which turned out to be a good move. The great folks at my huge chain, but friendly local, grocery store dropped off the fresh essentials a couple of times when I couldn't find a ride.

Cooking was an issue - the Dr. advised me to stay away from knives and heat sources, since the pain meds made me almost senseless to minor pain. Once my cath was out, my neighbors were having me over for dinner so that I could avoid the kitchen, or would bring things "ready to eat". After I got off the pain meds, I was back to my normal routine.

 

Welcome to HW.

Sometimes I think we over think and overplan these things. I'm sure your wife will insist on being there for the surgery, and to make sure you behave with the cute little nurses.

But I think you will find you are better than you thought you would be when you get home after the surgery. The more you do to help yourself, the faster you will begin recovery. I know for myself, I am a grumpy old man after surgery, especially when they have messed around with Willie. I need some alone time to lick my wounds. Don't really want someone mothering me and making me do things I don't want to.

So let the wife go to work, and let you stay at home, probably laying in bed r in the lazy boy. Have her lay out some food and water, which you probably won't each much of until you get the bowels working right. Walk as much as you can, drink as much as you can, and rest up. When she comes home, put on a happy face, act better than you feel, and hang on til bed time at 9.

Just my opinion and approach. I went to church on Sunday, actually climbed up on an overheard crane, (very carefully), the following week. Back to work in 2 weeks. I was careful, didn't tell most people, so I didn't have to answer a bunch of questions.

Good luck to you. It will go better than you probably expect.

My wife could not accompany me (because of medical issues) from Orlando to Detroit, where I had my surgery.

I had da Vinci, spent the night of the surgery in the hospital and walked to my on campus apartment the next day. I had no trouble preparing my own meals and getting around.

I took frequent walks throughout the day, mostly from boredom, and averaged about 2-3 miles total per day.

On the 6th day following surgery, I had the supra-pubic cath removed and flew out the next morning back to Orlando.

At home I resumed my duties as my wife's caregiver and really never had any issues.

I would be of the camp that you won't need a lot of assistance and care unless that is what you want.

Sonny

My wife insisted on taking a week off and it was nice having someone around to help out. Truth is after your home a few days you should be fine by yourself. I spend alot of time on a RV forum and a guy over there gave me an idea that I did use.... I got me a 6 gallon bucket and hooked the cath bag on it and just carried the bucket around. I also didn't like the idea of laying in bed with the cath so I slept in my lazy boy for a week till the cath came out. I was amazed at how little the pain was after getting home, I had more pain with my hernia operation. Good luck with everything, I'm sure everything will go well. Jeff

Mmmmm, maybe that's how I got PC.

Purgatory,  "That's one known advantage to having the robot for most men."

The "robot" has nothing to do with how long you may or may not need help.  I had open surgery and was back to work right after I took my own catheter out.  I was out of the hospital in a 1 1/2 days.  I could have done the whole thing on my own. 

There is no way to predict how your body will handle any invasive medical proceedure.  Everyone is different.  It is impossible to say how long you might need help, if at all.