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A woman's views on TRIMIX (shipper's wife) - Thoughts from other wives /GF ?

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Posted 4/11/2012 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
Recently, my husband, Shipper, has started to post on here. We both have found the information  and conversation very interesting and helpful. I would like to address a few points on the use of TRIMIX from a woman's viewpoint since I have recently read that some single men have reservations about what to say to their new partners,

I could not be MORE pleased with my husband's injections. Our sexlife has never been better. Before he started to inject, there was so much uncertain as to his being able to get  and maintain an erection that our sexlife suffered.  Now there is no uncertainity!!  He can last for a couple of hours and I can feel him so much better because of his hardness.

Recently, I have been helping him with his injections. Stretching his penis while he injects and then holding it and rubbing it to it gets erect. We both have found  this to be quite a "turn on" and have incorporated  as part of our foreplay. I would sggest that others do the same.

As to single men telling potential partners about injections. Why not? What should matter is how its used after its erect, not how it gets erect. So guys its up to you to prove your point!! LOL  I can understand GF being apprehensive because a guy has cancer, but how he gets up shouldnt matter.

Would like to Hear from other wifes and GF on this topic

KAREN    

(Modified your subject to get more attention from the ladies - 142)

Post Edited By Moderator (142) : 4/11/2012 3:23:53 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/11/2012 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen- Thanks so much for chimming in on this subject, it gives me a different perspective on how to deal with this.

Having cancer and also dealing with ED is always going to be a very big burden for men, it hits us clearly in the middle of a problem that men never want to have. As you have gathered, it is really a big deal for guy's !!!

Thanks so much :-)
Posted 4/11/2012 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
Timix

Its also a big deal for women. We miss sex when our husbands aren't capable of doing it
Posted 4/11/2012 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,

I read a couple posts from members here about how they would not be desirable to a new girlfriend because they need injections. I instantly thought, "I surely wouldn't give a darn". I have talked to a few girlfriends (some married, some not) about this whole TRIMIX deal. Most had never heard of TRIMIX, but lit up like a Christmas Tree when I told them about it. So there you go...I doubt it's a deal breaker.

Hubby had complete success with VED yesterday :), but insists that he get to try TRIMIX. Many happy posters here, including yourself, has me thinking that may not be a bad idea afterall!
Posted 4/11/2012 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
walkbyfaith

thanks for the comments. No I think my husband and I have a new sexual relationship. God, we never did it twice before lol

Karen
Posted 4/12/2012 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Karen- Your man is very lucky to have such a nice, loving, understanding partner and I hope he appreciates you :-)

Not all women miss sex :-( , but I really believe most men really do..........

Curt
Posted 4/12/2012 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
Curt Thanks for you nice comments. I think a lot about how women appreciate sex comes with how much men put into it. Not talking about size either. LOL
Posted 4/12/2012 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
My first thoughts on this were exactly like walkbyfaith's. I really wouldn't care either. The thing that has always got my rocks off has been the personality of my partner. It would not faze me a bit if there was an injection involved. I would have much prefer a sweet funny caring guy who needed an injection than some guy who was full of himself and was on an ego trip about his virility and his penis.

Lucky for me I married the sweet funny caring guy, who now needs a small amount of Viagra to properly get things going since the RP. Which is fine with me.
Posted 4/12/2012 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear that. I dont think womens acceptance of TRIMIX is a big problem. If I'm wrong would like to know. SHIPPER

Once its up and things heat up, how it gets up is forgotten
Posted 4/12/2012 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you ladies!

Last night while cuddling in bed, was the first time I ever talked to my wife about injections. For us to make love I need to inject myself.

You would think after being wed for 38 years I would have known the answer before I even brought the subject up. (No pun intended - but ...grins)

Her reaction - Well what are you waiting for husband?

My next appointment I'm asking my doc for Trimix!

Bud
Posted 4/12/2012 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
I've mentioned this before, but it fits.

Remembering that I am single at 58 - I have not found PCa to be a big issue with what little dating I've done the last couple of years, so long as it is brought up early. Even the pads don't seem an issue. I will say that waiting to mention the PCa until after a relationship has started seems to generate an inordinate amount of yelling, screaming, and broken glasses on the part of the lady, and no further answers to my calls.

I've found that being up-front has actually made it easier (or at least cheaper, less glasses to replace), but it also seems to attract women who figure that with PCa, there is no need for sex, so they don't have to worry about that part of a "relationship". When the conversation of "it might be possible and pleasant" with a shot, those women leave.

Yeah, some say I'm finding the wrong women, but ...

Posted 4/12/2012 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
Moderator Why do the ladies get upset at you. When you had sex with them, do you satify them? If so, thats all that should matter. In a way I gues its like penis size. Some guys are hung up on that while most women could care less
Posted 4/12/2012 2:37 PM (GMT 0)
You missed the whole point I was trying to explain - it seems that the attraction of a guy with PCa is that he supposedly won't care about sex, so the women won't have to bother. Then imply that it could happen, and they leave.

I have even had women ask my friends to set them up with me under the premise that I would make a good partner for social activity without having to mess with intimacy/sex afterwards.

 

Posted 4/12/2012 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Well do as I used to due before I remarried and dated, whiich was before my ED problem. I let the women know up front (from the first date) that I was still very sexually active and I expect that they be the same if we dated awhile.
Posted 4/12/2012 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
142, at the appropriat time, explain that you're a prostate cancer survivor and modern medicine has allowed you to regain manhood in all ways crucial to having an intimate relationship. Things have changed but you're fully a man with normal desire and capability.

but .....never show 'em the needle on the first date.
Posted 4/12/2012 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
I think what Shipper is missing here is that the "Cancer" that is part of "Prostate Cancer" sets a tone that is already completely different from ED.

A PCa survivor's ED is yet another issue that comes along later in the discussion. You have to get past the PCa discussion in order to have the ED discussion.

Posted 4/12/2012 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
I agree moderator. There is no comparison!! PC is so much a greater issue. What I was trying to address above was the issue of women who wanted to date men with PC because they wouldnt experct sex because of their ED. A good solution to warding off women like that is to tell them on the first date that you sexually active and with the help of medication can perform like any other man. And that you expect them to be sexually active with you if the relationship progresses As a side note I want to say I dont have PC but I do have ED and the Trimix is a great s9lution to that. Also all of your comments have been a great help to me and also my wife who reads them. The questions I ask are the ones I don't remeber to ask my Dr.
Posted 4/12/2012 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Now there is another problem in the mix. I'm not sure that I want to send a woman packing right off the bat. If I finally go down the HT path, I won't be the same guy they met anyway, at least for a time. If I do chemo, I may be bald on top of that ;)

Trimix for me is a way to deal with a problem should I have the opportunity. I have to get to the point of having the opportunity. Right now it is not by any means the biggest of my problems.

Posted 4/12/2012 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
TRIMIX is a wonderfull option, as a PC survivor I feel it is a little miracle,I was apprehensive at first but if you want something that bad you will do whatever it takes.It is just like anything else you learn in life,be patient,practice,if you fail get up and try again!By all means don't give up! I am so lucky to have a wife (friend) that was willing to risk the hard part (or not so hard) when it didn't work. It took several attempts to get correct dosage and location of the injection,it is really hard to stick your best friend! Now I do it thinking of the fun I'm about to have,it makes it easier,it does take a little planning and preparation but it's all worth it!Wives thanks for still wanting us!
gamms
Posted 4/12/2012 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
shipper and 142, I don't know about you but at this point in my life I don't like to waste time. I wouldn't want to nudge a relationship along only to find that my PCa was always a deal breaker. On the other hand I wouldn't wear it on my sleeve and tell everyone my situation.... but I certainly would tell someone who may be interested in something more than friendship. Not sure, but the point where mutual attraction is established and long term is a real possibility, I believe transparency would be the best route. 142 if she walks, she walks... You know, if someone cares they'll be open to listen and see that PCa isn't an automatic death sentence and most with PCa these days live long enough to die from something else. Just my $.02 worth. cheers, hj
Posted 4/12/2012 10:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,guys AND girls... I am 10 months post surgery ( Cryogenic) with ED being my only problen. If a few more months of Viagra and Muse , in combination, don"t do the job for me I WILL INSIST ON THE TRIMIX WAY!!! My lovely and very patient wife and I are still in the snuggling and making sexual love groove and we are going to do WHATEVER it takes to get there again. She is 14 years younger than me...half Italian and half Irish...so I really have my hands full, and my heart! Wish me luck!!!
Posted 4/12/2012 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
ICECAT -- why wait?
Posted 4/14/2012 11:57 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know if my husband and I will ever get to this point of considering TRIMIX as he is really afraid of the injections.  However, this is a man who had testicle pain a year before he got PCa.  He is still in pain after having testicle surgery this week.  However, we do think about this issue (ED) with the hope that it can be conquered.

142, I thought about your situation and how I would feel as a single woman out there dating.  I am not sure if Shipper's comment, "And that you expect them to be sexually active with you if the relationship progresses" is exactly right.  I think it is the word EXPECT.  I think the word DESIRE sounds so much better.  Also, I am not sure if (as a man) I would bring the topic up on the first date.  It really depends how close and intimate the coversation is.  I think that the woman might want some reassurance that true intimacy can be achieved.  Then maybe the third date mention how?  blush

It's been so long since I have dated that I don't know what the "time table" for making love really is! turn

Posted 4/14/2012 12:12 PM (GMT 0)
I think the lady may have a point but I think it depends on the situation. When do you tell her you have PC? When you do I think its a good time to reassure her that you are capable of having sex even though you have PC. No use leaving her wonder about your ability or maybe she may even back off if she thinks you can't perform. So I think in a way admitting you have PC and following up with a reassurance that you can perform even though you have PC is the best course. You dont have to go into deals unless she asks. Then tell her about the injections.

Has any ladies experienced this?

When I was dating my current wife I had ED but was ability to use Viagara ( Viagara no longer works so i use TRIMIX) and perform well. I didn't say anything for a long time after we were intimate. She really didnt care when I told her.
Posted 4/14/2012 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
Ditto... As a single guy, I haven't even had the chance to bring up the subject of ED...Boo Hisss.

Heck, even before all of this started, it used to take me a few dates before I knew enough to decide if "I" wanted to take thing further...

So the first date is too soon to bring up the subject.... and waiting till their naked is too late.... I'm thinking right around the time she invites me over for dinner and tells me to bring my toothbrush would be a good time..

Course, I'll probably have to counter with offering to cook at my place so I don't have to deal with carrying an ice cooler with me smhair
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