Does it get easier to deal with the cancer.

Right now you are at one of your WORST milestones--the "revelation" and the fear that goes with it. That's NORMAL. I have had to go through all the anxieties, what-ifs, and dark thoughts over five years of tribulations. I'm still here.

We are all born with an "expiration date", and  when was told I had prostate cancer it sure made an impression on me that my "expiration date" had been "moved up". But....though the ugly thoughts of cancer will be hard to dispserse, in perspective one doesn't usually think of all the ways one might die by accident (car wrecks, riots, accidents, etc.) all the time--so (easy for me to say) just put "cancer" in with all the rest of them and relax a bit.

"We" are lucky that modern medical procedures have made cancer LESS of a curse than in previous decades. All we can do, really, is learn what we can about "remedies", make a PLAN that gives us the best chance for survival, and let the course of our lives play out.

My best wishes for you!

Bud

Thanks

Kenadol

Get some professional counseling if you feel you need it. All of us can be overwhelmed by life events no matter who we are.

Worryroch,

I'll second the notion that acting on a course of treatment will make you feel better. Until then, the cancer is an abstraction that takes over your mind. It is in control. Making a decision about a course of treatment will put you in control. I know it made me feel better.

The other thing that will make you feel better is posting here at HealingWell. This place is a tremendous source of support and information. There are some great people here who are happy to help, so please check in with your questions and anxieties, and let us know how you're doing.

A lot of people started out here with words like "worry" in their screen names -- and eventually became among the most upbeat people here. Hang in there and stay in touch. I believe things will get better for you.

Peace,

Jonathan

Speaking for myself, although I have the odd down day, things have gotten much easier. Like others have said the shock of initially being diagnosed is often the worst time period. Your stats look pretty good for a successful treatment and a long life. Your biopsies are almost entirely Gleason 6, with just a tiny bit of Gleason 7. "3+4" is a much different animal than "4+3".

It helped me to join a prostate support group. Hearing what some of the older fellows had been through put things into perspective for me. However, that in no way is meant to minimize what you are currently experiencing.

Worryroch - Your reaction is completely normal and unfortunately it is one of the phases you must endure. Your outlook will absolutely improve once you have more information about your specific situation and your options. As others have said, you will find this site to be a wealth of information, perspective and support. You will be able to live your life without thinking about PCa every second.
Hang in there!

Bud - Your wife is a lucky woman! ;)

Amy

When you are first told you have prostate cancer, it usually hits you like a frieght train, it did me, then, when the Urologist explained the options to tackle the problem, I realised there was a plan, so felt a little better, but when I was signing the consent for the operation, and for many hours later, was in a fog, which I guess is normal when you are told you have CANCER!! The very word congures up the most dire, life changing concequences, doom, destruction, loss of everything.

It looks like you are at that stage my friend, it's normal, you have a journey to take, firstly your Gleason is 6, which is at the low end, you also have yet to find out whether the cancer is contained within the prostate, it probably is in your case, there is no way to go except forward on the journey we all on this Forum have taken.

Time will pass, you will find as you go through the procedure, it becomes easier because you will have the knowledge of where you are and the path you have taken.

Nobody can tell you much to get you out of the way you feel at the moment, it's only human, but move forward and stay firmly attatched to this Forum, as I have for the past 5 years, we will be there for you.

Mal.

It does get better. I am the type of person that worries and stresses out about everything. I was close to your age (48) when diagnosed with cancer about 4 years ago. I googled everything pertaining that was related to pc. I realized there were a lot of good info on the internet and a lot of bad stuff as well. I was in information over load.
I can't add to what the others have said but hearing the word cancer for the first time and knowing I couldn't take an asprin and everthing would be better was a terrifying thought for me. I do not we forget what we had going for us. You now know you have cancer, you are seeing doctors, and you are asking questions. It seems like you are a smart guy and dealing with your diagnosis. Please keep us posted and know you are not in this alone.

Wow, there is tons of great advice from those who have already responded, and I couldn't agree more. How can it possibly feel anything but lousy to get a cancer diagnosis, right? But you have prostate cancer, the best of the bunch. As my urologist said to me, if it had been pancreatic, lung, blood, liver, bone, or most other cancers, it might be a good idea to hire a mortician (he has a strange sense of humor, as do I, so we get along great). But with prostate cancer, especially early stage (Gleason 3+3, PSA 5.8, t1c), I could research treatment options, pick the one I liked best - and they would all have an extremely high success rate - and then move on with my life. So that's what I did, and I opted for proton treatment in Jacksonville. It was an amazing experience. I finished treatment a year ago and just had my first annual follow-up visit. My PSA is down to 1.2 (so far). I pee more often, and everything else is fine. Life is good. If you're interested, I spent most of the last year writing about my experience, including how I felt as things progressed.

(self promotion of a book removed -142)

It might be a welcome and useful distraction from your current state of mind. But be warned: there is a good dose of humor in my writing because that is how I see life. It might help you to see the lighter side, too. In any case, I suspect things will work out fine for you, as they do for most prostate cancer guys. I wish you the best, and as the others have said, you are at the worst stage of this now. It will get better. If there is anything I can do to help, please contact me at any time. We are a brotherhood, as you will learn. Sincerest regards ... Ron Nelson

Post Edited By Moderator (142) : 4/29/2012 7:37:49 PM (GMT-6)

I've been through this twice -- First with melanoma over 25 years ago (surgically removed with no recurrence) and then with PCa 9 years ago. As others have assured -- it does get better. The initial news is a shock, but then real life just keeps on happening anyway. The important thing is to just get on with your life--keep well informed about your condition and the treatment options available -- but don't stress out unduly. You'll be dealing with this for many, many years and after a while it will just become part of the background noise; though maybe with small spikes in anxiety around blood test times.

You are in the phase that I referred to as "I'm in total shock phase" which has each and everyone of us. You have been given great advice from some very veteran HW brothers. Come back to us often, ask more questions, let us help you with your recent diagnosis and ask us as many questions as you would like to or need to. Eduction is powerful and will provide relief and will empower you in your decisions as to how best to proceed with the type of cancer you were blessed with. Some of us got the real viral type of cancer, others got the intermediate grade which looks like what you have, which is wonderful. As mentioned, get the Dr. Patrick Walsh book as mentioned above, do an internet search on what each of the Gleason numbers mean, you have 90% of 3's which should be good news for you.

The good news is that while the 1960's therapies still work great, there is many, many other wonderful new developments on the market and many in the pipeline to give you relief. I was just a year older than you when I found out my horrific news. I couldn't think about anything else for about 4 weeks, then it tapered down over the next few weeks with it the main focus. Being distracted is a good thing, Be with family, be with friends, talk about your cancer and your feelings, but better yet, talk about your hobbies, plan trips, just get our of the house and be active and get out of the cancer bubble.

You are in the hardest mental phase that you have had to face in your 49 years. All of us have walked the walk and can talk the talk and we even share the deepest feelings to get validation as to what we are feeling. If your down and depressed days continue, tell your Urologists, make an appointment with a psychiatrist and explore the possibility of taking some medication to help you mood. You wouldn't be the first and wouldn't be the last to do. I had to do it and it made a big difference.

I am out 15 months from my diagnosis. I am grateful to be here, those were very dark and dreary days. Not knowing about the cancer, the types of prostate cancer, the treatment options, who best to hand your life over to, a surgeon or a radiologist, what are the side effects of surgery, what kind of surgery, what are the side of effects of brachytherapy (radioactive seeds in the prostate), what about hormone therapy, intensive radiation, etc. You have so much to learn. Direct your energy to empowering yourself with education. Run it past us if you have questions.

You will find that folks like SequoiaRanger, Purgatory, F8, Maldugs and others have been here for a long time and are very generous with their time and willingness to share their experience and advice.

Please view us as a life raft, here to help you survive this horrific experience. While it has been the hardest thing I have had to deal with, it is also one of the sweetest and peaceful experiences in my life. I have dealt with death, I have dealt with my standing in this life and the next life, I can stand in front of my maker and be held accountable for my actions here on this earthly experiences in front of my savior. I have had many people come up to me and ask me about my Aura and the glow I have and ask me how I can have such a positive attitude about my situation. I simply tell them that I have reconciled myself to where I am and grateful for the many wonderful and challenging experiences in my life and had a good run and as mentioned above by Sequoiaranger, if my time comes up earlier than I wished, darn, but my favorite phrase with dealing with my news is that "It is what it Is". i ca't do anything about it except be positive and enjoy every sunrise and sunset that I can, enjoy every amazing medical provider that wants to save my life, or assist in easing the state that I am in.

You have some very dark and ominous storm clouds swirling around you right now and rightfully so. As with every horrible weather storm, it too passes and the clouds disperse, the sun comes out and gives us all hope. It will take you time, education, treatments, and this tutorial will make you a better person. I have learned a Phd level of compassion for so many people that suffer with all kinds of ailments and challenges in their life. You will find that you can have heart to heart discussions with them because of what you have been diagnosed with and you will make a tremendous difference in their lives because of it.

While you are dealing with your dark clouds, and huge waves, winds, sleet and adversity, please let us help you through this. It does and will get better for you. I can say that as others can say that, because we have been there. You are in my prayers. Best wishes to you and your loved ones and you endure through this experience and find the beautiful lessons that only you will be able to find as you walk down this path.

Devastated1--I couldn't help noticing in your signature "pt3bI'mscrewed"
FWIW, I was also pt3b after surgery in 2002 when I was 56 and I've had a few bumps in the road since. But here it is 10 years since my original surgery and 2 years since salvage radiation. I worked until I chose to retire last summer--not because of my health, but because I was finally ready and able to dump the day job. I've just returned from a 2,000 mile round trip with my wife, hauling our trailer to a music festival and back, --including a side-trip on the Blue Ridge Parkway. So far things have been good.