So scared about PSA

Water Guy, Thank you!! I let my husband read some of your threads. Just positive and to the point. He doesn't do much with message boards, but I told him that for now this one is where I am venting. He thought it was very good for me. You'll come to mind while I'm in the waiting room today, you are my positive light.

Sadly my mother is non-existent in my life. Is for herself, and hasn't seen her grandchildren in 4 years (she's 59). She didn't protect me from an abusive step-father as a child and when I approached her about it about 4 years ago (to do some personal healing), she wiped her hands clean of me. She said it wasn't her fault and she was scared of him. My so called parents never married. My dad (73) has never been a part of my life. His sisters and my cousins keep in contact with me though. I just found out in Oct. that he has 6 months to live (another worry), but he's not talking to his estranged family about it. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I just want to get my feelings out. This board is about surviving and everyone has had hardships. One reason I am here is because I don't have the comfort of parents to confide in.

Let me add my wishes for a successful outcome.

I've been following this thread.

If the results are PC, then you will have plenty of time to look into various treatments.

Mel

Thank you so much Rob 2. I thought about it after I posted a blurb about my life and thought maybe I said too much. I just wanted the people that are interested to know that I don't have much of a family circle so I appreciate this one.

Waterguy: Doug had his biopsy done yesterday. When he arrived he asked for valium as you suggested and they said they don't normally do that. The receptionist checked with the doctor and they didn't have any in the office. Doug got through his procedure fine though. I'll tell you he had the nurse and myself laughing after it was over with his humor and metaphors.

davidg: As you have read he had the biopsy done yesterday "naturally". I told him that I guaranteed my child birth experiences were worse since epidurals (never) worked for me. Thanks for your words!

Doug is still complaining about the procedure. He was well enough to ump behind 1st at my daugther's game last night and still helped coach. No fever as of yet. We made a joke that he is walking a little like Fred Sanford this morning. Doug had the doctor talk to me yesterday after the procedure because I am better at retaining. The Uro said that Doug did great and the prostate looked a little enlarged which is a normal beginning for a guy in his 30's or 40's. He said that the ultrasound showed nothing wrong. He did say it usually doesn't though. He said he felt nothing wrong with the prostate during the dre. I really like the doctor. He seemed personable which is important to me. Doug said he took 10 cores (not 12). He counted each one believe me. The doc said that the biopsy should be 85 to 90% accurate. He said he felt that we are probably looking at the possibility of a cell change at this point and that he didn't think that this is an advanced case. He said we can talk about that more if it's pc. He said he has a 50 to 60% chance it's pc. He said he didn't think that Doug's psa was outrageously high 4.9, but that he likes to see them around 2.5 or less at his age. He' said he's seem them much higher with a good outcome, and the flipside is that he's seen people with pc that have a normal psa. Thank you to the GP that didn't inform us last year about his 3.9 psa. The Uro said that he didn't like the 4.2 free psa, but it's also possible for something else to be going on. We won't get our results until 5/21, it's the first appointment they have. I felt a (little) bit better about things when we left the Uro's yesterday. I know to not get my hopes up though, it's the pessimist in me. I hope I remembered everything I should.

5/21???

Gee, they should at least be willing to call you. I got my results in 2-3 days.

Mel

Caring, I've been following your posts and just wanted to chime in with a few thoughts.

I too am a wife...my husband was diagnosed 4 years ago at the age of 58. At the time of biopsy (which was his second due to a sudden rise in PSA), 2 out of 10 cores were positive and his Gleason score was 3+4. He chose robot-assisted prostatectomy as his choice of treatment, and his Gleason score was not changed. However, his stage was upgraded to a IIIa because the cancer had broken into the capsule surrounding the prostate. Four years later, he's going strong and his PSA remains undetectable.

Unfortunately, you have already experienced the waiting game...PSA is up, so off to the urologist you go...you count the days til the biopsy, then wait for the results. I must say that waiting until May 21 is a long time to wait. In our case, the urologist called us at home with the results within 2 days. I would double check the time frame as it's possible your husband's doctor may be going out of town hence the long wait.

I'm glad that your Doug tolerated the biopsy without any meds. My husband had 2 prostate biopsies 4 years apart and didn't experience much other than discomfort towards the end. The more samples taken, the more uncomfortable it becomes (according to him).

The main reason for my posting is to simply let you know that there are wives here who know exactly what you are going through. You may or may not have a tough road ahead of you but there is one thing I can guarantee you: you and Doug will get through this and we'll be here to help (if indeed our help is needed).

Stay with us and we'll do our best to keep you sane.

Caring Wife - when you feel down or need to rant - please consider HW as part of your extended family.

-and if anyone dumps on you - whether in the cyberworld or the real one (ha!) remember what your username is - The caring wife. And that is what you are.
And you are important. And you are The caring wife rather than just "caring wife".

- I come from an abusive/dysfunctional family as well and understand your frustration and concerns. It is their choice of how to continue at this stage of their lives - whether it is for the next ten years or the next 10 weeks...

In Canada we often have to wait two weeks or more for test results - if in the States, I guess it would just depend on the agreement between lab and doctor and insurance company.

Wishing Doug ( The caring husband) and you (The caring wife) all the best.
hugs,
Bronson

p.s. reminder - there will be possibility of blood discharge in stool as well as in urine for the next few days -
....

Thank you Bronson, you are so kind. I'm sorry you had a bad upbringing too, but it made us stronger people I guess. Doug has experienced the blood, but not much at all. Thanks for the heads up.

WaterGuy, I am thinking that we should just wait for the appointment. I would do the same thing if I got that type of phone call. It could be a dangerous situation. I've been forgetful and scatter brained just at home. It wouldn't be a good "call" for Doug to receive (if was bad news), where he works with landscaping equipment etc. Of course we are hoping it's good news, who doesn't, but you have to be prepared for everything. I have now realized that pc seems to be quite common. Most do very well after treatment. Some times all the preventative stuff can be scary, been there and the outcome isn't always so bad. I told Doug last night, what would be worse. #1 letting it go for 10 years or so and it becomes symptomatic and maybe too late for treatment or #2 finding out before you even know you have it and to get it taken care of sooner so you can enjoy life. I told Doug that his dad could have had it for many years before he found out in his early 70's, but sooner is really better.

Got our biopsy results yesterday.  Left core Adenocarcinoma, Gleason grade 6/10, present in 10% of tissue submitted.  NO lymphatic invasion identified, no perineural invasion indentified.  Right core no tumor present.

grade 3+3= 6/10 

 

Capri score 86% cure rate if operated on within 6 months.  The vast reacurrance are within the first five years and then I wrote 8% not sure why, maybe that's the chance of reacurrance after five years.  I can't read my own writing.  Caught in an early stage he said T1 or T2.

 

Still surreal.  I've read so much that I had to try to comfort Doug.  He's only seeing the incontinence, diapers and impotence after surgery which doc said is a 30% chance.  Doctor said he can do waiting now, but he suggests surgery to remove the prostate some time down the road because of Doug's young age  Trying to think of a time that works with his schedule if we go with this. 

 

So much to think about.  Could have been so much worse, and thinking how lucky we are for our result.  Mad we have to deal with this at all, but out of our hands.  Hereditary issue.  Thinking I'm glad I have three girls that have no prostate. :)

 

Things that are scaring me are:  1:What if they are wrong about the 10% and what if we wait it will spread.  I know that the doctor said this won't happen in a year or two at least, but it still scares me.  2: That my husband doesn't like the idea of surgery because he doesn't want his quality of life jeopardized, (ED and incontinence)  but I am the get it taken out type of person.

Been talking to the Water Guy and he has given us some great insight and ideas for treatment.

I could go on forever.  Our treatment center options are far away.  Boston 100 miles or so and Portland Maine 50 miles or so.  Every day treatments such as Proton Beam therapy would be too hard to do with work and kids etc.

 

Any constructive advice welcomed, nothing to scare me please.

Caring Wife!

Just after putting in a very stressful year, yes with a similar complaint and only for my dear wife who is caring i would have never survived the pressure.  Thankfully one year further on i have been diagnosed with Pc , had my 37 bouts of radiation and hey presto, I'm back to that positive person i always had been.  True, I'm not out of the woods with my complaint but i can say that i believe in the treatment that i had, it served me well so all i can say at this point the more you worry before you cross the bridge leaves your energy so low when you need it over the next few months, while you find out exactly what your situation is.  Please trust the medical profession and definitely keep in touch on this forum because with out it i would never have survived .  thanks to eveyrbody and it is great to see the same names coming up responding to your anguish as came up for me.

keep up the spirits and look to the future.

CJD

We are not perfect by any means but, we have three children so our diet is usually including green vegetables, fruits (unfortunately my husband hates berries though), lunch meat with no or little nitrate.  A couple of years back with all the meat hype about hormones, we started eating meat with no hormones or bi products.  All natural meat most of the time.  Sometimes at a ball game or when out you can't do it all perfect.  I think we do pretty well.  Excerise, we do that continually.  We are in great shape.  My husband is high energy level landscaper, so that helps too.  He has said he will not cut out everything in his life that he enjoys, the occassional pizza with cheese, sweets or some beer after a long day.  I can't see him ever saying, " only good stuff for me all of the time now".  He wouldn't enjoy his life.  Would he say most of the time he will eat right "YES", because I push my family to eat the raw carrots, tons of tomatoes, (suffering from what I assume to be a canker sore from lots of acidic tomatoes lately ) and the greens and fruit, 100% juice etc. 

 

The caring wife said...
 I can't see him ever saying, " only good stuff for me all of the time now".  He wouldn't enjoy his life. 

He should scan through some of the threads here at HW of men who are suffering through nasty side effects.  Daily pads, slings, penile injections, implants,...etc.   Some of whom had low-risk PC which probably wouldn't have ever caused them a real problem if they had decided not to have aggressive treatment.