Friday Funnies

For all you statistical wizards out there:

Q: What do you call a tea party with more than 30 people?

A: A Z-party!




Or,

Q: Why did the statistician take Viagra?

A: Since his sample was large, he did not want to be rejected with a small p-value and be declared practically nonsignificant

A man walks into a doctor’s. ‘What seems to be the problem?’ asks the doctor. ‘I have five penises,’ replies the man. ‘Blimey!’ says the doctor. ‘How do your trousers fit?’ The man replies, ‘Like a glove.’

Joe suffers from very bad headaches and eventually finds a doctor who offers a solution. ‘The good news is that I can cure your headaches,’ says the doctor. ‘The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press against the base of your spine. It’s that pressure that causes the headaches.’ Joe is shocked but decides he has no choice but to go under the knife.

After the operation Joe feels much better and decides to treat himself to a new suit. He goes into a tailor’s to see what’s on offer. The tailor looks at him and says, ‘Let’s see. I’d guess you take a size 44 long?’ Joe laughs, ‘That’s right. How did you know my exact size?’ ‘It’s my job to know,’ says the tailor. ‘How about a new shirt to go with it? I’d say you take a 34 sleeve and a 16 neck.’ ‘Right again,’ says Joe. ‘How did you know?’ ‘It’s my job,’ says the tailor. ‘How about some new underwear as well? Let’s see, I’d say you’re a size 36.’ Joe laughs, ‘Got you that time. I’m actually a 34. I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18.’ The tailor tuts, ‘You shouldn’t do that, sir. You see a size 34 would press your testicles against your spine and give you terrible headaches.’

HD you're on a roll. Thanks. I needed some laughs today!

The tailor tuts, ‘You shouldn’t do that, sir. You see a size 34 would press your testicles against your spine and give you terrible headaches.’

HOWLS!!!!

I'm siding a shed today and it remined me of this one;

A contractor hires two guys to put siding up on a garage. He drops them off in the morning then goes to visit another job site.

When he returns later in the day he finds them sitting in the shade doing nothing while the garage sits half finished.

"Hey, why aren't you guys working?" the contract asks.

"We ran out of nails" says one of the guys.

"How'd you run out of nails, I gave you enough to finish the job!"

"The nails were defective, half of them had the head on the wrong side so we had to throw them out."

The contractor looks at the two guys then slaps himself on the forehead. "You morons! Those nails were for the other side of the garage!"