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Posted 8/5/2012 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
I left home thinking I would be gone three days and now it's going on three weeks.

My mom had a brain bleed and I flew to her home state with only carry on baggage. She's better now and in a rehab hospital but she's too old to care for herself and I am placing her in a adult family home. I'm taking her for a visit of one home today. If she approves of the place I could be headed home late next week. But I'll be driving her (my) Cadillac STS loaded to the gunnels with stuff. It's about a 900-mile drive.

I've sold her home and other other assets and have taken over power of attorney. I've also made final arrangements for her.

My mom still doesn't know about my cancer, and I'm glad I never told her.

I've had a chance to do a little photography so I'll post some pictures when I get home, which I hope is soon. I miss my wife and my dog...and I do need a 6-month PSA test soon wink.

Ed
Posted 8/6/2012 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Ed-

I know how you are feeling - my sister and brother-in-law had to do the same for our mom ( they all live in Australia) - including trying for placement in two different seniors homes ( found a good one for people with dementia) selling the car and house and shipping what was in the estate going to family -
- my heart goes out to you - it may feel like your life is torn asunder - its just being realigned without your consent.
-may I share a hearty ARGH !!!!!! with you -
-a healing hug
- wishing you all the best - and go for the low -
hugs again,
Bronson
Posted 8/6/2012 2:09 AM (GMT 0)
Ed .... my mom will be 99 in November and is living in an assisted living place so I've some idea of how difficult it is to deal with parents in need, but doing so from 900 miles away is so far beyond anything I've had to deal with that I can't imagine.

I wish her well, and I've got her on my prayer list this evening.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Posted 8/6/2012 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
My Dad is 93 and he lives with my sister for a couple of months and then with me for a couple of months. He is a handful to take care of. He had a knee operation lately and is in rehab. Not sure that we will be able to care for him when he gets out and may be looking into a care facility for him.

It sure is difficult dealing making decisions for our folks. Especially tough when they are 900 miles away. Best of luck to you.
Posted 8/6/2012 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
Ed, my mother lived seven years after a "brain bleed" type of stroke that left her paralyzed on her left side. Truly a terrible thing. I hope your mother wasn't as severely affected. I'm sorry to hear about this. The consequences can be truly devastating, and I can imagine the strain this has put on you. Hang in there.
Posted 8/6/2012 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Know where you are at now. Even though my parents weren't in assisted living or nursing home, they both were hospice patients, and died 2 months apart in 2010. We had to go thru the process of closing out a life that they had build- a sad time for us kids- and very physically and mentally exhausting. So, know that there's a bunch of people has been there before you and understand how you are feeling. Just ask if you need anything, we're here for you.

On another happier note, I'm looking forward to seeing your photos...it's the secret voyeur in me I suppose... devil
Posted 8/6/2012 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Ed I'm so sorry to hear of your challenge at this time.

Cajun Jeff
Posted 8/6/2012 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Ed, I feel bad for you and your mom. That is a lot to deal with by yourself. Hope your mom likes the home and you can get her settled in.

My mom is 85 and only lives 6 miles away from us, and she can be a handful. She needs to be in an asssited living community, but she refuses to give up her independence and is stuck in a good sized house with 2 1/2 acres of lawn and gardens to worry about. She won't listen to her children, so we do the best we can to keep an eye on her

Hope you can get back home soon. Your PSA test can wait, it will be whatever its going to be regardless.

Take care,

david in sc
Posted 8/6/2012 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
These kinds of things are never easy to deal with. I ended having to do the same thing for both my parents. It is heart breaking to deal with all those details.

Hope you can make it home soon - 900 miles is a long way to drive.

Thinking of you.
All the best,
Andrew
Posted 8/6/2012 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Good to hear from you, Ed. Take care...
Posted 8/6/2012 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for all your support guys :-). my mother has very little residual damage from the brain bleed. She is very fortunate. But she should've been in a more controlled setting for at least the past year.

I am grateful that I could be here for her and i will leave here knowing that I have have done everything in my power to get her the very best long-term care.

Aerosmith is playing at the Tacoma Dome this week and I am in the hotel right next to the venue. I have to move out of the hotel anyway because it is fully booked on that day so I'm telling everyone that Steven Tyler wants my room so it's time for me to go home :-).

See you all soon and thanks again for the support!

ed
Posted 8/6/2012 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Ed,

Glad to hear that she is doing better. I've been away a lot of the last month helping my mom downsize and move into a nicer apartment. So much for my vacation days this year. She is still very active, but 350 miles away, so I fear the day that I have to deal with the same - I am the "closest" child geographically, so I spend a lot of weekends on the road.

Never been run out of town by a band, but I have driven through more than one hurricane that would not co-operate with my days off work.

Posted 8/7/2012 1:02 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like you mom raised a good son. I can imagine it is a lot of work, both emotionally and physically, when moving parents. Tell Steven Tyler I said hello....
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