The stress of PC

I hear you Mel and wish there was something that I could do to alleviate some of the stress for you, my husband and all the other members of this forum. We seem to be able to push everything out of the forefront and then something - anything - seems to pull it back to the forefront. Gorilla......I thought it was an elephant!

My husband started his HT and is really having next to no side effects from it. I gather from other posts that we can live this way for years and years to come. Live it!!!

Mel,

Yep, yep, yep. Hear you load and clear. Same here.

Hang tough. One day at a time, man.

Better 2013 to you.

Robert

Mel - this PC thing just sucks. Rant away, we're all with you on that point.

and I've been calling PC "The Elephant in the Room." The big thing that just can't be ignored.

Andrew

Mel,

I wish I could kick the gorillas and the elephants out of all the rooms of everyone here. It's tough, especially when we' 're in between therapies.

Hang in there. We are all in this room (HW) together. In this room we talk about the gorillas and elephants. They''re more tamed in this room.

Jerry L.

Hi Mel, I hear you. My oncologist referred me to a shrink that I will see on Wednesday, right after meeting to go over imaging results. Right now, I don't want to travel, I don't want to go to the movies, I don't want to do much of anything, except read the messages on this board and go to the gym. I thought surgery would end this thing, but now---out there looming is radiation and probably HT. I definitely feel your pain. I also get sooooooo tired of people who I care about telling me how good I look. Like having cancer is suppose to make you ugly or sickly. So yes, this Pca crap has become the center of my life.

Happy New Year everyone!

Fred

Just to continue my whine...

I have had this disease for 3 years and 1 month , at least from time of dx.

Frankly, I've handled it very well for 3 years. I have somehow never gone through the "why me" phase. I have never been in denial. I have skipped the "bargaining phase."

But I am finding myself increasingly disheartened this last month and I think deep down I am now going through the intense anger phase. Yesterday, I blew up because I could not get the pizza web site to work properly. I slammed the computer down and uttered an expletive. It was just a 20 second tantrum, but that is SO UNLIKE ME! I know darn well my anger had nothing to do with the computer issue. It suddenly came, overwhelmed me, and disappeared.

I'm not sure if anyone can relate to that.

It is anger and I guess tiredness. I am popping out of that state. Things are better now.

I don't like my glimpse into the future, either.

I am willing to bet that almost all of you with a rising PSA know what I mean.

I hope this sudden but passing moodiness does not become less passing when I start HT.

IT's nice to have this group.

Mel

Mel: Having PC definitely sucks. I was diagnosed in March 2012, had DaVinci removal in June. I just joined this forum tonight, looking for advice on vacuum pumps.

I am 62, divorced twice, and alone. After the doc told me I had PC, whatever was left of my world fell apart. I did not give a darn about anything. After a while I was making jokes about having cancer. What did it matter? -- joking about it won't make it worse. I suppose it was my subconscious way of coping.

My best buddy took me out one night for a few cocktails. I was drinking Margueritas, and the barmaid made one and happened to put quite a lot of salt on the glass rim, so she was apologizing all over for it, I said don't worry. So I get back to the table and I'm telling my buddy about it and I said: "She's apologizing for the salt! Salt? Who give a darn about salt! I've got cancer."

My buddy did not laugh. And I noticed how nearly everyone, family included, acted weird around me. Nobody would say the word "cancer." And that word was right in front of my eyes every waking minute. I *wanted* to talk about cancer, but nobody else did. Very odd situation. Even now, 7 months later, people will only say, "How are you doing?" I say "okay," which tells them absolutely nothing.

So after surgery, cancer went in the background. He did have to remove one of the nerve bundles, but all tissues were clear of cancer. So for the next week "the elephant in the room" was the darned catheter. A week later that's out, and the next elephant was having zero bladder control. The only thing that mattered to me at that point was getting some control. It took 2-3 months, and it was hell during that time. If I left home, I had to shower and change immediately before leaving and had to be back inside of 3 hours.

So I don't really know what stage you are at, but I'm guessing your focus on things will change as time goes on.

Seven, eight months ago I didn't give a darn about anything; I had cancer growing inside of me. Nothing else mattered. Three, four, five months ago (post-surgery) cancer was forgotten, but I didn't give a darn about getting an erection, all I cared about was having bladder control.

Now that I have bladder control, I care about getting an erection. Although I don't have a woman in my life, that could change at any time and I may want to use "it" again.

So all I can say is keep your eye on the ball, things will get better. If you have a loving wife, that's the best you can do.

Mel- perhaps you can find some solace in music, religion, helping others in need and other methods. Hope you don't blow a fuse along the way. This is certainly a twilight zone episode but is a reality show you didn't wish to sign up for or star in it. So far I have used 10 different drugs in total on my PCa journey, some in dual or triple combos. I have not ranted about my side effects much.  All of us live with P.I.S.S.  the psa-intervening-stress-syndrome.....I say just flush it out of your system (lol).  Hope you can try to enjoy  'living la vida loca'  (and not loco...that is not nearly as much fun).

Post Edited (zufus) : 1/1/2013 4:52:28 AM (GMT-7)