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Posted 4/11/2013 6:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hey... I’m completely depressed and in shock. I have prostate cancer! Discovered PSA 5.9 in late Jan-13. Had Biopsy in Feb...



Feb-13...Pre Op Biopsy-12 Cors 4 Pos... Gleeson 3x3... 6

De Vinci Surgery March 19th-13

Post Op Gleeson 3x4...7

SVI

Pos Margins

Focal on Bladder neck

Spot on Urethra.. Pos and removed.

CT with contrast No Organ Involvement

Bone Scan Neg



Have apt with Uro April 24th. From everything I’m reading... if I’m getting it right... I will most likely have radiation and Hormone Therapy? I am so depressed... no one knows how low I am right now... I have to talk to someone! Please Help Me! I have 5 children... 3 still at home and I’m it....... Only someone here knows what I’m going thru... I’ve lost 20lbs... not from PC.. I’ve stopped eating all sugar, meat, dairy in any form... I’m so depressed I can hardly eat....
Posted 4/11/2013 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello 49 years old. I've been there. It sucks. What can I tell you? But you will get by it.

It does sound like you will probably be doing some follow-on treatment. I also had an unpleasant surprise in my post-operative path report. I did 66gy of IMRT and am about 1/3 of the way through 2 years of hormones. I seem to be doing OK and you probably will too.

Welcome to the forum, by the way -- mustn't forget to say that. Sorry you need to be here but there are lots of people here who have been exactly where you are now and can tell you for sure that you will get through it.

How are you coming recovering from the surgery? How are you coming with continence?
Posted 4/11/2013 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
49 all I can tell you is I have been where you are. My world came crashing to end in December when I got the dreaded news. I got pretty low too. Kept much of my feelings inside with my family, because I am supposed to be their rock....not the other way around. My friends on this forum, as I have said, know things and thoughts I never said to my family. The support I have gotten from my online family speaks volumes, so please lean on us. Like Peter said, please tell us more about you and your situation. Will do our best to help and support you.
Posted 4/11/2013 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
Thank U! tdnjam!

What can I provide about my situation? I’m sorry; I’m new to this and have never even been on a community form! More info about my diagnosis, feeling, etc...?
Posted 4/11/2013 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
49 think the IMRT will get it. It has for so many. You'll make it.
Posted 4/11/2013 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
Thank You Buddy!

I went from a T1c  to a t3B....

 

Posted 4/11/2013 7:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi 49

I know you are in shock. You have a right to be. But you have every reason to assume you will be around to see all your kids grow up and probably and probably grand kids too. For what it's worth, I had open surgery 11 years ago for Gleason 3+4, SVI, T3b and did well for quite a few years. Then I had salvage radiation 3 years ago (in which they also zapped a suspicious lymph node). And now here I am over a decade out from my original diagnosis with no detectible psa or other signs.

Keep us posted on what you hear from your doctors.

Jim
Posted 4/11/2013 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
49er,

Actually, I mostly want to know how leaky you are. Are you continent? A little drippy so you wear a pad just in case? Do you go though five Depends pull-ups a day?

Aside from the indisputable fact that incontinence is the chief annoyance after prostate surgery, it makes a difference in what will probably happen with your treatments and how fast it will happen. They like to wait a while for the patient to recover continence after surgery before they start the radiation since 1) radiation slows the recovery process and makes it less certain, and 2) radiation treatment works better if the patient can arrange to have a full bladder while he is being treated (it reduces the amount of radiation that the bowels and the bladder receive.).
Posted 4/11/2013 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
welcome

you are a good example of someone diagnosed with a Gleason 6, who got upgraded after surgery with some more serious indicators

don't get too far ahead of yourself, doesn't mean you will have instant recurrence, wait and see how you do with your first 2-3 psa tests after surgery to see where you stand. you may or may not need additional treatments

good luck, now is the time to finish with your surgery recovery.

wishing you the best

david
Posted 4/11/2013 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
49yearsold,
From a fellow t3b, welcome! I know you are in a tough mental and emotional spot right now. I have been there. It will get better. You can see my signature below with my specifics. You can do the same if you go to your HW profile and entire key information into your signature.

You can see my treatment approach in my signature.

Again, welcome!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
On the other thread...

49yearsold said...
I’m completely dry.... I just started having some urgency issues recently. No erections... I think the worst thing is looking at my kids... especially my 5 yrold... They lost their mother and I’m it. I’m really beside myself right now! I want to be strong, but can’t find out how to kick this depression! I’m sleep deprived, not eating enough and depressed! I should be stronger!!

Didn't see your post on the other thread.
Posted 4/11/2013 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thank You Bohemond ! I’m ashamed to say this to anyone else but I’m so scared.  You and your post are making it hard to type because my eyes are a little wet!  Thank you for some hope!  I believe GOD brought me to this site.  I couldn’t imagine being any more desperate than I have the last couple of weeks.... I’ve been thinking terrible thoughts and that’s not an option... I have kids and I’m the only one they have!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
Peter!

Yes I’m dry! and that’s good info... I have to educate myself real fast. It’s hard with no energy and the depression!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
Panic and fear will not help your situation, only make you more fearful. best way to overcome that, is with acceptance, and knowledge, and knowing there are so many of us fighting the PC battle like you are. you are not alone with this, you are in good company, and we are here to help you through your personal battles and demons along the way.

never give up hope.

david
Posted 4/11/2013 7:18 PM (GMT 0)
Purgatory
Thank You and I will get my post stats posted ASAP!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank U Purgatory!

You sound like my old Drill Sgt.  Thats a good thing!  I thought I was a strong person...  Im having my doubts!  I already feel better knowing Im talking to those that have walked where im going!

Posted 4/11/2013 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
49yrsold - Slow down dude, you'll be fine!!! First things first, get your $#!T together! So many have been where you are now, it's all part of what we affectionately call the journey. You'll get through this, there's so much available now to battle this beast - and, so much experience, insight, and everything else from the guys (and gals) out here that comes from our collective "been there, done that!"

Stay focused, listen to input about how to put a plan together and stay with that. Get your signature updated. One thing at a time - we're here for you Bro!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
hey 49, we've all been there, of course you have a double whammy to deal with after your post op pathology. Many here have had to deal with the same thing. I've been following them all for 2+ years and they all seem to get stronger as time passes.

It's normal to be depressed, you can learn to live with that too.

In all probability this will be a chronic condition that you need to adapt to but one that won't stop you from being there for your kids for years to come.

Best way to deal with the depression is to talk to people. This forum is a great place for that.
Posted 4/11/2013 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
49.... hang in there!!! Take one day at a time and one test at a time. Your done with surgery. It is very scary, but you cant let it consume you. My suggestion is to keep busy and that keeps your mind off your worries. As a good friend told me when I was going through it said u cant play in your head that movie that this is going to cause your death and your watching it over and over again.....because you dont know if it will and that movie isnt getting played!!!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Yooper!   Thanks for the obvious experience and incite you have! I put what I knew about my PC diagnosis on my signature!  I think I need to get all the pre and post paperwork to have a complete and updated signature right?
Posted 4/11/2013 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
49er,

We will be giving you lots of impossible advice here. I'll start. Calm down. Cheer up. You are going to be ok. The only thing you need to do fast is get a grip.

If you look at the signatures of the guys who post here you will see lots of them had worse pathology reports that yours, some of them over a decade ago, and they are doing fine.

There are lots of smart guys here (I pretend to be one of them but they can mostly see through me) and they can help you know what to expect. My guess, as I mentioned before, is that your urologist will put you on hormones to keep any remaining cancer bottled up and refer you to a radiation oncologist who will talk to you about adjuvant radiation therapy (probably Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy -- IMRT). That is a very tolerable treatment where you drive to a center every day at the same time, they lay you out on a table just so and then a big machine will go beeeeep ten times (from different angles) and you will be done. You won't feel anything. The usual side effects are that it will make your hemorrhoids worse and you may have some burning when you pee but it won't be bad. The hormones will kinda suck but you will probably only be on them for 18 months. Then you'll get to be nervous as heck for a few days every six months when you are waiting for your PSA results. You can soothe your worries by logging in here, talking to the scared-spitless new guys, and pretending to be calm.
Posted 4/11/2013 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
SHU 93 You actually made me smile for the first time in a couple of weeks!  Your example of the movie is exactly how my head movie is running!  and my head movie makes my eyes rain!
Posted 4/11/2013 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
49er,
My stats are similar, started out Gleason 6, became a GL. 7, tumor coming out of the prostate in 2 spots, positive margins of course. So far I have had 3 undetectable PSA's. I went to see my surgeon yesterday for my 9 month follow up and he told me guys like me have a 20% chance of recurrence. Man, I can't sit and put my life on hold for something that might not happen. If it happens, we'll deal with it then.

Hang in there brother, you'll make it through this and live a long life.

Bill
Posted 4/11/2013 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
49,

I am sorry to hear of your not-so-great pathology report.

While I am not having to deal with the burden of a poor report, I can still vividly remember the feelings of anxiousness and discouragement after finding out about my cancer.  Like you I lost 22 lbs in the first month and became self-absorbed in my dilema. I couldn't sleep more that a few hours at a time and became very withdrawn in many ways.

Things I found which helped were:

This forum - just reading of other's experiences helped put things in perspective.

Trying to put others (like kids) first (service) helped relieve some stress.

Trying to keep busy - I'm sure you are doing that now.

Learning all I could about my future treatment options helped me feel more in control.

Going to a local PCa support group - birds of a feather.......

Realizing there is time to make rational decisions.

Quit assuming the worst is going to happen - easier said than done for me.

Finding a couple of 'forum buddies' in a situation similar to mine to email/chat with offline.

I am sure you'll find what works best for you. If you read the profiles of many of the members you will see there are some with significant PCa challenges - and they have been at this for a long time. As was mentioned, you will more than likely have many, many more years ahead of you.

I hope you are able to find it within yourself to overcome the depression and discouragement you are feeling. I am rooting for you!!!

 

Posted 4/11/2013 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome 49,

Sorry you have be here, but it's a great place to learn and their are a lot of great guys and gals to lean on when the going gets rough!

We found this place after our less-than-stellar post-op report too and it has changed our lives for the better!

We don't have much medical advice to give you (other than question everything your Drs. say and get 2nd, 3rd or more opinions)

Hang in there, once you get a plan of action in place things get better.
Hubby lost lots of weight after the diagnosis too but the Hormone Therapy (lupron) and SRI (antidepressant) helped him get it all back and then some, even on the Mediterranean diet!

Hugs to you and your babies. We're gonna beat this beast!

Jim and Marie

P.S. Can you believe how many new friends you made in the last hour???

Post Edited (wampuscat) : 4/11/2013 1:50:30 PM (GMT-6)

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