New Member (wife)

I've (I'm the reader & relayer of info) been reading your posts for awhile now, and just wanted to say Hi, and how very much we so appreciate all of you.  You all have taken much of the {mystery} out of this, and we're very, very thankful for that.  He especially likes all of your humor, and has had quite a few laughs too.  :)

I orginally was going to ask what I might have forgotten, or haven't read yet, but I just seen BabaHill's post, which we really appreciated.

My husband's DaVinci surgery is this next Monday...  We have a reclinor already, one with a handle control, and know to have a bucket to set the cath bag in....    Got the Depends Guards bought, and also 'jock itch' cream someone suggested getting for just in case - but we're unsure of why he might need it?  Someone else suggested perineal cleaner, but I've not been able to find it yet?  Are there any other 'things' he might need that we can get ahead of time?

Thank you all again, so much!!!

I like "convertable" pants where the legs zip off at the knee. (I got mine at REI.) Get them a little big big. That way when he is wearing the catheter and he gets house mad he can strap the leg bag onto his thigh, go to the mall or a movie, and pee standing up as God intended. (Just unzip an inch or two at his knee, fish out the short drain hose and unclip the clamp.) With practice I could pee in a crowded men's room without anyone suspecting (as long as I could get the leftmost urinal.)

Aside from that there isn't a lot of stuff you need go get first. Unless you live in Antarctica you will be able to leave him in his recliner with a drink and his remote while you nip out and buy some Vaseline for his catheter or some Chinese take out. After his operation he won't be able to move furniture or mow the lawn but life will get back to normal-ish fairly quickly.

Welcome too,
You will find support, information, and friends from both the guys and the gals. Any questions, just pop on and ask. It sounds as if you are really there for your husband - that will and is a major part of the healing process. Take care.

Hi Serenity,

Welcome. It's now been quite a few years since I had my original surgery. But just in case there are things your guy will put up with while gritting his teeth and saying "no problem," the things I remember in particular about the recovery was that the catheter became increasingly painful in the last few days before it came out due to chafing at the tip of you know where. This was 11 years ago, so maybe the plastic tubes are softer or more flexible now -- I hope so. In my case I was able to get my catheter removed at home a couple of days early thanks to a neighbor who was nurse who worked with my urologist and did me a favor. Also -- just speaking from my own experience -- after the catheter came out, I needed to make a mad dash to the bathroom for a couple of weeks whenever I stood up from a sitting position. Everything gradually returned to near normal over the following few weeks. But there were a couple of weeks when friends came to visit and I had to pray for them to leave so I could stand up, grab my crotch, and dash to the john.

Hi there,

You might ask them, before the surgery, if they have a special gel for the tip of the penis. When I had my da Vinci at Mayo Clinic, I was released the following afternoon & given a bunch of things to take with me -- including a small squeeze tube of an ointment-like jell that I applied to the tip of the penis whenever the catheter began to irritate me.

Keep in mind that the presence of the catheter is NOT a painful thing. But where it emerges from the body, it can get a bit sensitive because the tube will tend to laterally move around a bit. But the jell worked like a charm every time I used it.

They also gave me a bottle of (I forgot the exact name) Doulax, or something like that, for a stool softener. It also worked wonders. It usually takes 2-3 days post-op before the bowels awaken. But I was very pleased that this worked out just fine with those pills.

Sounds like you're ready to go with the recliner and bucket for the collection bag to sit in. Don't forget nice warm blankets for when he's sleeping. I'm sure you've already got them lined up. LOL

Also, baggy, loose pants in case he goes out in public -- makes it easier for the daytime collection bag to stay out of sight & also for the tube to have some room.

Also, remember that he will not be allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds (a gallon of milk) for the first month. And do lots of walking -- as he can tolerate. Try not to use stairs for the first month, etc.

The time will go much faster than you might believe from this side -- but soon you'll both be on the other side & the recovery will be under way.

Take care,
Chuck

Resident of Highland, Indiana just outside of Chicago, IL.
July 2011 local PSA lab reading 6.41 (from 4.1 in 2009). Mayo Clinic PSA Sept. 2011 was 5.7.
Local urologist DRE revealed significant BPH, but no lumps.
PCa Dx Aug. 2011 at age of 61.
Biopsy revealed adenocarcinoma in 3 of 20 cores (one 5%, two 20%). T2C.
Gleason score 3+3=6.
CT of abdomen, bone scan both negative.
DaVinci prostatectomy 11/1/11 at Mayo Clinic (Rochester, MN), nerve sparing, age 62.
My surgeon was Dr. Matthew Tollefson, who I highly recommend.
Final pathology shows tumor confined to prostate.
5 lymph nodes, seminal vesicles, extraprostatic soft tissue all negative.
1.0 x 0.6 x 0.6 cm mass involving right posterior inferior,
right posterior apex & left mid posterior prostate.
Right posterior apex margin involved by tumor over a 0.2 cm length, doctor says this is insignificant.
Prostate 98.3 grams, tumor 2 grams. Prostate size 5.0 x 4.7 x 4.5 cm.
Catheter out in 7 days. No incontinence, occasional minor dripping.
Post-op exams 2/13/12, 9/10/12, PSA <0.1.
Semi-firm erections now happening 14 months post-op & slowly getting a bit stronger.

Hi Serenity...another wife chiming in here. Before I begin, I want to welcome you to our corner of the world, and to wish both you and your husband the best of luck with his surgery.

Even though my husband's surgery was 5 years ago (where the heck did the time go!), I remember fairly well preparing for his surgery (he also had DaVinci). We went out and bought stuff...a waterproof pad for the bed, perineal cleaning spray, etc. from a surgical supply store. We used the pad after the catheter was out, but didn't use any of the other "fancy" stuff we bought.

Please add stool softeners to your shopping list. My husband took them as soon as he got home and continued for about a week or so to help ease him back into his normal mode. You don't want your husband straining on the toilet and putting stress on his innards, and the stool softener can be a big help in this area. If your husband is prescribed pain meds, he will likely experience constipation.

Your husband's diet may be restricted to liquids until he has his first BM (hence the stool softener). The usual foods are allowed: jello, broth, etc. Once my husband had his first BM (about 2 days after he got home from the hospital), I could slowly introduce soft food (soft-boiled eggs was his favorite), then gradually add solid foods.

Jock itch cream might come in handy after the cath is removed and if he needs to wear incontinence pads or underwear. The cream could help prevent him getting jock itch from the wet pads. Jock itch is a type of fungal infection and can be very uncomfortable (think along the lines of diaper rash around the genital area and on the thighs).

Loose, comfortable pants are important, especially when he has the leg bag on (you should be given two different bags for the catheter: one is larger and is used overnight or when he's home; the leg bag is for when he goes out). We also found an oversized nightshirt a help for when my husband was lounging around the house since he liked to have nothing constricting or tugging on the cath.

I'll stop here but if you have any questions, don't hesitate to come back and ask them. Many of us have been where you are going, and though it may feel overwhelming right now, you will both get through it just fine.

Hello Serenity, my wife bought me some sweat pants / workout pants that were very comfortable. She got them a size to big and hemmed the leg. My brother went through this procedure a couple months before I did and this was his advice. He said he wore sweats for the first 4 weeks post surgery as he was not comfortable wearing jeans or regular pants. Me, I wore the sweats for 1 week post surgery and was back to wearing jeans (not tight jeans) and regular pants. I had some roller coaster days after the first week where I'd go from being great and up and about one day and the next I'd just stay home and wear sweats.

The thing about the robotic surgery is that there was virtually no pain. I'm talking almost a pain level of zero once the gas passed after the first couple days. The gas buildup in the abdomen was very uncomfortable right before it passed. I ended up using milk of magnesia as recommended by the doctor and within hours it began to work and the gas pain was gone completely within 12 hours of that.

Back to the pain level, as I said, it was literally 1-3 on a scale of 1 - 10 within hours of surgery and within a couple days it was zero. The problem with this is that there's no physical feedback from your body telling you're overdoing it. 10 days after surgery I was feeling great and did a lot of errands, had lunch with a friend, made dinner for the family, and went out that evening to meet friends for a beer. The end of the day there was some minor bleeding after urinating. This is the body's way of telling you that you did to much. Drinking a large glass of water helped to flush it out and stopped the bleeding. The next day I was tired and just took it easy.

I've broken many bones over the years due to sports related injuries and all of those injuries gave you feedback in the form of pain when you tried to do something your body wasn't ready for. This procedure is not like that so make sure that even when he thinks he's not overdoing it that he's coming back at a reasonable pace. Also make sure he's walking at least every hour the first week or two. I started walking 2 - 3 miles every day within 2 weeks and that really helped too.

The other thing that helped me was that about 3 weeks post surgery I developed perineal pain and I started taking 1 aleve every 12 hours along with two tylenol and this knocked it out and kept it under control. Have him check with his doctor of course to make sure this is something he or she recommends based on him as I'm not a doctor.

Lastly, the one thing I can't stress enough is to make sure he understands what could await him post surgery. Specifically, continence and ED issues. Some of the lucky ones came through this procedure without either issues. Yes, I'm very jealous. However, the one thing that knocked me down most was the sudden onset of ED when I never had a single issue. That includes never having been told "that's ok, it happens to everyone". For me it was like they flipped a switch off during the procedure and I was not ready for that psychologically. People also told me to expect there could be some leakage and until it happens you have no idea what that's like or how it will affect you mentally. I thought it meant a drop here and a drop there. For me I only used 1 to 2 pads per day and never "let go" but there'd be times when walking when there was a "squirt" and it was very unsettling.

I hope your husband is one of the lucky ones that comes through with no post-op symptoms but if he has them you can be pretty sure someone on this forum has had them too and can help.

Best wishes to you both.

Post Edited (BillD) : 4/12/2013 6:47:21 AM (GMT-6)

Hi Serenity,

      I had Davinci surgery 2-14-2012 , the surgery went fine but it took about 6 months before I could go without a pad.

     Here's my 2 cents on pads.

    I would put on a pad in the morning put I would also add a paper towel folded up as a liner.  I also had several extras in my pocket to take to work. When I would feel that I leaked a little bit I would go to the bathroom and change the towel. The pad stayed almost completly dry all day. The new towel was dry and I had no rash at all.

      This worked great for me but it might not for others or they might think it strange

. 

     My prayers are with you and your husband.

Welcome Serenity and husband,
First off, he will do great Monday. You will both go to pre-op to get him ready! They will give him the happy juice and he won't feel a thing until it is over. You are going to have the hard part.
Be sure your cell phone is charged, the surgeon will be calling you to tell you how it went, wear comfortable clothes because you will be in them all day.

First - My wife and I set up a Caring Bridge account, it's free Google "Caring Bridge". With that, you can use a smartphone or Ipad and keep family, loved ones and co-workers in the loop as his days are progressing. You won't have to call 6 people and tell them all the same story. I posted pictures and kept a journal of how I was doing the first week. Your family can post messages back to you and your husband

Second - as was said before, loose fitting pants. The Da Vinci camera goes in and the prostate comes out an incision just above the navel. I had a hard time wearing pants that were tight around the waist for the first couple of weeks. I bought some cheap cargo ones at Old Navy that tied, about $10 each.

Third - I also bought the basketball type pants that snapped up the sides so the catheter could snake out the pants. My doctor gave me a canvas bag which I put the large catheter in whenever I was walking. I NEVER used the leg bag. A lot less emptying.

Fourth - Antibiotic soap to wash his hands after emptying the cath. You don't want him to get a Urinary Tract Infection. I got a UTI 2-3 months later and it HURT.

Fifth - the last thing I bought 2 days before surgery was one of those medical blow up donuts at Walmart. It was in the aisle by the canes near the pharmacy. A couple of days after surgery I had a hard time getting comfortable while sitting due to swelling. (I'll let you figure out what swells down there). Boy, was I glad I threw that in the grocery cart. I put it down then a pillow on top of it so I could sit on it to watch TV.

Well, if you get everthing we told you, you'll need a trunk to take with you to the hospital. They may need a bed for you! By the way, our hospital allowed my wife, in fact encouraged her to stay overnight in the room with me. They had a love seat that converted into a twin bed for her.

Best of luck to Both of you Monday!
I hope you have done your taxes already, they are due Monday!

Hugs,
Bill from Florida

Sweats pants are the best. I am living in mine. The first day I was concerned about looking frumpy while walking around the neigborhood. Got over that fast! I use the leg bag all the time. My bag with elastic straps and notches works much better than the one with Velcro closures, which kept coming undone. Frankly, the catheter barely bothers me...I find the abdominal drain more annoying.

It's good to be prepared for side effects, but your husband may not have them all. Some people have sore shoulders and problems sitting, but I am lucky and have escaped those so far.

I think the waiting for the spouse during surgery must be difficult. We patients just sleep through it all. Caring Bridge and having someone to wait with you during surgery can both be helpful!

Good luck!

Thank you Brooklynguy & Appleseed!! :)
Yes, this site is a Godsend!!!

Thank you so much, BabaHill and Passages for thinking of us!!
:) :)