Hi Cowgirl,
PeterDisAbelard gave great advice to your boyfriend. Perhaps you can print it out for him to read. Another thing for him to consider (perhaps something that has not dawned on him yet) is that there is usually MORE than one victim when cancer strikes. Of course, the patient is the primary victim -- but it also affects that person's close loved ones, including girlfriends & wives.
Also, having a second pair of ears in a consultation is a great way to absorb everything a patient is hearing -- much of which may not be remembered after the appointment due to the stress AND volume of information being received. What he may not recall is probably something that you would remember.
As for the biopsy report vs the post-op pathology report -- it is not unusual for them to differ. That is because a biopsy is just an estimate based on 1/1000th sampling of the prostate -- whereas the post-op pathology places the ENTIRE prostate under the pathologist's microscope.
The latest study I saw says the Gleason score turns out to be HIGHER than the biopsy report in about
28% of cases. Many people on this (and also on another) PC forum have reported that they went in with a certain Gleason score and found out after surgery that it was really 1 or 2 points higher.
As another of us noted, PC tends to be "multifocal," which means there can be more than one individual tumor. In fact, the average cancerous prostate has about
3 separate tumors and can have as many as 7 -- and they all tend to begin forming & growing at the same time.
Yet, in spite of this, PC is highly curable (no matter how aggressive) if treated before it has a chance to spread to other parts of the body.
Your boyfriend had an aggressive cancer (4+4 post-op as opposed to 4+3 pre-op), so it is very good that he got it taken care of. It sounds like he has an excellent chance of being cured now.
As for ED, as others have noted, his sex life is NOT over. There are many things that modern medicine can do to restore his ability, so it's just a matter of patience.
If his doctor seems to be too busy to spend much time with him, that is very unfortunate. Most doctors will take as much time as needed for a patient to feel satisfied in getting all their questions answered. My surgeon, who works for one of the busiest medical facilities on earth, is extremely busy -- and yet, he will come in and sit with me and make me feel like I'm the only patient he is seeing that day. Maybe that is another good reason for you to be in there with them, because the doctor may then not feel the "moral authority" to hurry him along & conclude the visit.
Good luck to both of you!
Chuck
Resident of Highland, Indiana just outside of Chicago, IL.
July 2011 local PSA lab reading 6.41 (from 4.1 in 2009). Mayo Clinic PSA Sept. 2011 was 5.7.
Local urologist DRE revealed significant BPH, but no lumps.
PCa Dx Aug. 2011 at age of 61.
Biopsy revealed adenocarcinoma in 3 of 20 cores (one 5%, two 20%). T2C.
Gleason score 3+3=6.
CT of abdomen, bone scan both negative.
DaVinci prostatectomy 11/1/11 at Mayo Clinic (Rochester, MN), nerve sparing, age 62.
My surgeon was Dr. Matthew Tollefson, who I highly recommend.
Final pathology shows tumor confined to prostate.
5 lymph nodes, seminal vesicles, extraprostatic soft tissue all negative.
1.0 x 0.6 x 0.6 cm mass involving right posterior inferior,
right posterior apex & left mid posterior prostate.
Right posterior apex margin involved by tumor over a 0.2 cm length, doctor says this is insignificant.
Prostate 98.3 grams, tumor 2 grams. Prostate size 5.0 x 4.7 x 4.5 cm.
Abdominal drain removed the morning after surgery.
Catheter out in 7 days. No incontinence, occasional minor dripping.
Post-op exams 2/13/12, 9/10/12, PSA <0.1. PSA tests now annual.
Semi-firm erections now happening 14 months post-op & VERY slowly getting a bit stronger.
Post Edited (HighlanderCFH) : 5/11/2013 12:19:38 PM (GMT-6)