Newbie/thank you -I'll be in the shop

I have found this forum to be a very healing source. I have been reading post throughout the summer as my hubby had surgery in April 2013. At first I was in shock as we had just lost a close family member to another cancer. My hubby met with 2 doctors and surgeon but was determine to have cancer out of his body and the sooner the better. It was like a whirlwind to me and I still don't know that he had the best surgeon. He had very painful bladder spasms after surgery and was in hospital for 7 days and catheter in for 5 weeks! He still soaks pads and changes every 2-3 hours during waking hours. Occasionally he goes 3 1/2 - 4 hours on a pad. about 6 weeks from his surgery I became extremely angry. I was so mad, I was mad at happy people/normal people, people having fun, people working without worrying about drips. I felt like the whole world knew but were laughing at us, thinking we were less than a couple, I liked being mad. I was even mad at hubby's positive outlook and patience. My thought this didn't happen to men at 50, he was too young, this wasn't fair. I wanted to be mad at God but my faith was too strong and I knew I needed God more than ever. Of course that mad me mad too. I was depressed and then I found this forum. I soon learned you could be 40 with this beast. The posts helped me so much to overcome my anger and start living. Most of all, I want to thank "I'll be in the shop". You help me more than you will ever know. I would read those words over and over again. Those words felt like you understood some how. My anger is mostly gone now, I have a lot of questions now but will post them later. I just wanted to introduce myself.

Welcome to the forum, Mrs.jclampit....

It's a great place, yet no one wants to have to be here. But, here we are.

My husband of just 4 years was diagnosed when he was 49. (51 now) He wasn't a candidate for surgery, but I can honestly say that I can absolutely relate to all of the feelings you've experienced.

If you ever want to chat with someone who understands where you are with this, please feel free to email me. Sometimes, just having someone to vent to who is walking the same road helps out tremendously.

Will keep you guys in thoughts and prayers.

Dear Mrs. jclampit,

So sorry you have to be here. I too, was so happy I found HW. Everyone here is so kind! Everyday, my wife and I pray for everyone here and even thought my DX was too late for surgery, I'm so thankful for the time I have left and I pray that I can be a light in someone's life.

God is the one we turn to in our time of need, and we REALLY need his help right now.

Will be praying for you and your husband and even thought I'm new here, I'm always willing to be of help.

Dave in Bartlett, TN

Dear. Mrs, welcome to Healing Well. I am sorry for the issues that you and your husband have endured but I'm glad you are feeling better. Please continue to post and ask any questions that you may have - there is a wealth of knowledge here and lots of folks who are willing to help.

Our best to you as your husband continues his recovery,

Jim

P. S. to Andrew -- you are obviously 'da man. Thanks!

Ms. JClampit.
I was incontinent and it drove me crazy. I would read about the problems others were having and get mad at myself for complaining about wet undies and a soggy winky. I even bought an incontinence clamp that goes where, and does exactly what you think. Ouch.

Know this. No matter how bad the dripping gets, incontinence can be fixed. You might have to wait until you try all the easy options (usually about a year) but you can get it fixed eventually.
That knowledge helped me when soggy drawers got me down. Let it help you, too.
Jeff

Mrs.jclampit, if it makes you feel any better, it was a slow process for my hubby before he didn't need a pad.  But by 5 months, things got so much better.  The Kigel exercises were very important.  He even went to rehab for a month to learn how to do them properly.  Things are so much better now, although we're still working on ED.  Prayers for you and your husband that things will settle into a more normal pattern.

This week is Ron's three year anniversary from his surgery, and he's still a member of the zero club!  Praise God.

Peace,

Aimzee