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Monsters under the bed?

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Posted 9/19/2013 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
There was a news item today about a crocodile being found under a guy's bed, having spent the night there. A real "monster under the bed" if ever there was one!

In PCa, I still kind of struggle with a similar fear. With a high risk diagnosis, having the best treatment plan for me in my estimation, and even a really good initial response, I'm still concerned that a monster may be lurking under the bed!

I keep looking at studies, trying to see prognoses for my stats, my treatment plan, risks of various outcomes, possibilities of complications. It seems really tough to just close my eyes to it all and let it go. I keep wanting to lift the covers and peek under the bed, figuratively anyway!

Do other people do this too? There aren't any more treatment decisions to make right now anyway, so until some numbers go sour it just doesn't matter.

Just some sort of obsessive head game.
Posted 9/19/2013 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
Redwing,

At our ages, there are multiple monsters under our bed. Heart issues, stroke issues, other cancer possibilities, tornados, hurricanes, natural gas explosions, etc, etc. in my own life, I have tried to get to a point where I am convinced that ultimately, one if the monsters will get me, and worrying will not stop it.

I have decided that I will enjoy every moment of the life I have left, tell all my family I love them as often as I can, make sure that I have given some thought as to what happens after I depart this life, and forget about the monsters. I refuse to be miserable.

Life is good, and I intend to keep on living it until I can't.

Just my little rant about that.

Goodlife
Posted 9/19/2013 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Every time I go to India I always look under the bed and elsewhere for snakes.

I hear you on your concern. I'm better now in that regard but went through it and won't be surprised to go through it again.
Posted 9/19/2013 4:11 AM (GMT 0)
Ditto what good life says!! Let sleeping gators lie.
Posted 9/19/2013 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
The way I see and handle things, until I see the alligator under the bed, and know there really is one there, I am not going to think about it, or plan for it, and definitely not worry about, what isn't there and might not ever be there.

I do understand with a serious dx like you have, but you are doing very well, so unless that changes, I would keep on living, doing, enjoying the parts of life you have in front of you. If you are going to worry about tomorrow, then at least wait until it's tomorrow.

It's good, right now it's today, not tomorrow. As for me, I will keep hoping the best for you, now and in the future.

David

P.S. Enjoyed you at chat as usual
Posted 9/19/2013 11:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys, great perspectives.

It is just a form of worrying, and that's not productive. I heard someone say worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but you don't get anywhere!

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Embrace the gift of today, and celebrate!
Posted 9/19/2013 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
Redwing:

I bet most of us, whether we openly admit it or not on HW, share your concerns.

I always think of it as the elephant in the room.

My next tests are 5-6 weeks away, but there will be a constant barrage of tests, reactions, etc. Think of all the time we spend even posting on HW. Be honest, folks, it's there.

David, of course, never worries. I have a bridge to sell you.

Mel

Posted 9/19/2013 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
I wish I could be more like "goodlife" but I'm more like "redwing" always thinking what if? Or then What do we do? So many of those monsters go thru my head...Charlie (the one w PCa) has a better attitude, so many days he will lift my chin up to look at him & say "Chin up! We got today let's make it good". I try then to carry that with me the rest of the day & do what I can to ignore the "monsters". Good luck!
Posted 9/19/2013 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
You get it, my friend, worry is one of the most pointless acts a person can do. It goes nowhere but in an endless circle.

David
Posted 9/19/2013 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
This topic brings to mind a sort of related thought that kind of intrudes itself into my own thinking now and then:

Prostate cancer: is it a man's destiny or his curse?

Apparently it's his destiny because, and we all know the facts, we're all going to get it if we live long enough, and we're all going to die from it unless we die of something else first. That is what we have all heard, and apparently that's the the way it is.

If so, then why should I spend my time worrying about something that's smack dead ahead of me on the road of life that I am traveling, and there's no detour around it? (Unless, of course, the Louis Pasteur of PCa research finally does come along -- he's really overdue -- and finally discovers the cure for the beast).

OTOH, inevitable or not, this is truly a very deadly disease for so many, and it's only natural to "wonder seriously" (shall we call it that rather than "worry"?) where this thing is going to be taking some of us.

Some days I'm a fatalist. I got this thing simply because I have a Y-chromosome and it's as simple as that. Other days I'm very optimistic, because I am certain that our own Louis Pasteur is indeed out there somewhere, working right now, and he will be announcing his great breakthrough soon.

So, I have mood swings about whether the beast is hiding under my bed or not, but I'm also certain that he won't be there forever.
Posted 9/19/2013 5:17 PM (GMT 0)
81 et. al:

We can certainly come up with all sorts of arguments showing that worry is counter-productive. It IS. My brain knows that.

Nevertheless... I (we?) do worry at times (or if you don't like the "W" word, we can say that it occupies our thoughts and energies)

Mel

Posted 9/19/2013 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
The monster is under my bed.

This last 90 days have been rather peaceful and thoughts of the monster faded. Of course that was until the next blood test, which was a couple days ago.

Now I hear it growl at me once again, and I just have to adjust the mind to the implications. It takes a few days to accomplish that effect.

Soon I will be back to the new normal: Your days are numbered, just how big that number is, I cant say.
Posted 9/19/2013 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
Worry versus concern.   The first is unhealthy....the second is healthy.   I am not worried about my condition, but I do have a healthy bit of concern.    Thus I use the concern objectively to pursue the treatment and lifestyle that enables me to exert positive influencs and thus alleviate the worry.

As for the crocodile under the bed or the elephant in the room or the tornado in the next county or the curious chest pain after exercise......well when they occur we will just do the best we can with what we have.   In the meantime we should live every minute the best we can to keep a smile on our face and on the faces of those around us.

Posted 9/19/2013 11:25 PM (GMT 0)
My mind also plays tricks on me in this regard, but my imagined demise never has anything to do with prostate cancer. I'm more worried that I'll suddenly drop dead of a heart attack or something like that. But then again, I'd guess I'm statistically more likely to have a heart attack then die of prostate cancer during the next five years, even as a G9.

Michael
Posted 9/20/2013 1:02 AM (GMT 0)

JNF said...
Worry versus concern. The first is unhealthy....the second is healthy. I am not worried about my condition, but I do have a healthy bit of concern. Thus I use the concern objectively to pursue the treatment and lifestyle that enables me to exert positive influencs and thus alleviate the worry.
As for the crocodile under the bed or the elephant in the room or the tornado in the next county or the curious chest pain after exercise......well when they occur we will just do the best we can with what we have. In the meantime we should live every minute the best we can to keep a smile on our face and on the faces of those around us.

I'll have whatever you're having ...

Great advice.
Posted 9/20/2013 1:36 AM (GMT 0)
Hey David.....I often think about your mother. I hope she is doing as well as possible. I know it is tough being so far away.

Tante bell cose,

Jack
Posted 9/20/2013 1:47 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for asking, Jack.

Her pain is under control, Looks like the chemo/radiation combo helped with that so far. However, they think they found a new spot on lung. It is what it is. I head over in ten days. Taking her out of the home we put her in and into my hotel so I can take her out and push her in her wheelchair around Arezzo for ten days. The home is making her a little stir crazy.

I am planning on going every 6 weeks. The annoying thing is that United cancelled their direct route to Rome and all my miles are with them. I don't know what's going on with airlines but I cannot get a direct flight to anywhere in Italy leaving from Newark or JFK unless I travel Al Italia, and that ain't happening.
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