HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Percy on another thread - this should be his own

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/28/2013 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Percy posted this on another thread, but it should be the basis for his own thread. - 142
- - -
This is not clinical or based on any research....(but a lot of therapy)

Year 1
- Feb wife asks to separate
- May diagnosed
- July tell kids & move out
- Aug surgery
- Nov surgery failed
- Dec hormones

That was 4 years ago and today I am in very bad shape on many levels ..... I often wondered how I would have handled cancer without divorce or divorce without cancer but I firmly believe that 2009 took a toll that I never recovered from....the next three+ years up until today have not been good either.

My point is that I completely believe that I have lived 2 lives as 2 completely different people

1968-2008
I don't count 2009
2010-today

I'm sure I'm wired and I'm shaped partially from my 45 years and 9 month but my life is crumbling because I wasn't strong enough to cope with 2009 and the aftershocks since...
5/09
41 / checkup / doc checks PSA
no symptoms/ doc saves life
PSA 11

8/09
surgery
GL = 9
59.2 grm
covers 70%
10 weeks post - PSA 4.9
14 weeks post - PSA 6.0

2010 - Year of the Hormones
PSA Undetectable

Feb 2011 - PSA up - Lupron

June 2011 - Radiation

March 2012 - PSA .3
May/12 -.6
May/12 - Scans/Clean
Aug/12 - 1.8
Nov/12 - 4.9
Feb/13 - 13
April/13 - 16
July/13 - 27

LUPRON
Posted 11/28/2013 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Percy,

Your post sounds a bit like the "before" picture that member Todd1963 paints of himself before he turned his life back around. He may have made a slightly bigger mess of his life and he was probably sicker, but the broad outlines are quite similar.

He's been fighting the beast for seven years now and has managed to live a pretty full life between treatments.

You might check out his blog. It's pretty impressive how well he has done given where he started and how bad his cancer was (still is).
Posted 11/28/2013 7:21 PM (GMT 0)
Percy,

2009 was my year too and I was a younger guy like you. I can relate to the whole PC side of things and how it seems like two different lives, but can't relate to the divorce, etc...

I wish you only the best and hope you hang around these parts so we can all support each other...

Jerry
Posted 11/28/2013 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Percy, it has not been a walk in the park for you, for sure. There seem to be two distinct things bothering you, your divorce and pc. I believe that the emotional toll of the divorce and the loss of your life as you have known it may have been / is more difficult to deal with than PC. I want to tell you, to count your blessings, and I mean each day. Turn to things you love, to people you love. If you don´t have them, find them. Give back. Live each day to the fullest, as if it were a new gift with each new sunrise. You have closed one door, opened up another. Your past belongs in the past. You had a life before your wife. If you want history, find it there, in your childhood friends and memories. You need to get yourself to a place of peace and happiness. This will be a blow to your pc, for sure.
Posted 11/29/2013 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Percy

I am glad you have shared your story. We all can relate to some portion of it. You can have hope for a better day tomorrow. I will pray that you will have new people come into your life - people who can encourage and strengthen you for this part of the journey. As a person of faith, I know that I am never alone- I do not have to fight the battle by myself. Just as we told our adult daughter tonight, this can be a new beginning. I am grateful that you are here to remember we all celebrate with you this special day. You are still very much alive!
Posted 11/29/2013 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone...I am finding this community to be very therapeutic/helpful, and I originally became active here because I thought and have a deep desire to help a few with my experience...because even if I don't sound optimistic at times, I know I have been strong and I am nearing my 5 year anniversary of being diagnosed with advanced/metastatic PC....

My post was taken from a thread about how we are "wired"....that who we are, maybe even from birth, has much to do with how we handle this disease.....I won't argue that point, but my post was to add that our environment and experiences shape us too....I believe my experiences have more to do with who I am today then how I was wired leading up to my dx....

As I just posted a few minutes ago on another thread, this morning, I was so close to hitting snooze on my alarm, and texting a friend that I couldn't drive the 40 miles into NYC for lunch...but I went and I can sit here now and say I decided to live today and that feels good....peace to all..
Posted 11/30/2013 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Percy,
There is a good reason why we recovering alcoholics say to take "one day at a time". Life is difficult and we cannot live in the past and tomorrow may never come so we need to live in the NOW! That is something we can work on, today!

We all have been there before and can relate to your post. Your 2009 was my 1989.

Good luck to you, glad you had a good day TODAY!

Bill from Florida cool
Posted 11/30/2013 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Percy - I cannot imagine going through this without a spouse/partner and the rest of my family. My wife and sister in particular were really amazing. Having to go through it while getting a separation or divorce is unthinkable to me. Sorry you had to go through that. I've seen other guys here tell the same story, you're not alone.

I think you are absolutely right, we react to and learn from our experiences. That is culture, at least one definition of it.


I haven't been able to hit snooze since I had kids. And now that they're old enough to not need me I'm getting a hyper active puppy. No snooze button for me.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply