Disgusted by Doctor

Last week I was at my local hospital for my 6 monthly Psa results and review meeting while there I ran into a Urologist that I know is treating a very close friend of mine,I said hello to him and said you are treating a friend of mine he asked who whats his name ? I told him and he said OH I know him very well.
I then joked he drives me mad with his constant worrying he looked at me and said that is what happens when you are dying I was absolutely shocked ,stunned,disgusted that he would say such a thing in a cavalier manner as far as I know and my friend knows he is doing good on hormone treatment his Psa is under control.I felt like putting in a complaint about him first discussing a patient to me and being so uncaring but if I do my friend would then know and that is something he would have trouble handling, some Doctors not all we are just numbers and to be harsh $ signs most are good caring people but others like my friends Doc are disgusting.
English Rodger.

That is terrible, and as lapilot said most likely a violation of HIPAA

Obviously your statement to the physician about his constant worrying, probably was an impression you got from your friend, and if he has a physician like that, who knows what the doctor told him, which is why he is concerned.

I don't know how close you feel to your friend, but you can ask how he is doing, and if he expresses some reservations, you might suggest a second opinion

Very tough

Good luck

HIPPA is a US law - I don't know the rules in the UK.

It does sound like the doctor, misguided for discussing a patient, probably sees the PCa as something that will eventually kill your friend.

Not something you should get involved with, unless you want to get between your friend and his doctor, who he may respect, and who may be a good doctor otherwise.

Honesty can get us in a lot of trouble.

Absolutely appalling story but not surprised at all...

All doctors need to see the movie, "THE DOCTOR" or read the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Taste-My-Own-Medicine-Patient/dp/0394562828

I gave a copy of it to my uro... the movie was incredible to me. EVERY med student in the world should have to watch it before treating any patient.

Dr. Edward E. Rosenbaum was diagnosed with cancer of the larynx at age 70. This book is a memoir of both his experiences as a doctor and as a patient, caught in the inexorable, sometimes painful, often humiliating round of cancer treatment. His cancer remained misdiagnosed for several months by a physician-acquaintance of Dr. Rosenbaum's, who had not kept himself up-to-date on the latest diagnostic tools available to his specialty. When Dr. Rosenbaum finally gets a second opinion from a younger doctor, who knows how to use a fiberoptic nasopharyngoscope, he must decide on a method of treatment.

As most of us cancer patients do, whether or not we are physicians ourselves, he let his doctor make the choice for him: radiation.

Anyone who has ever undergone a course of radiation treatments will empathize with Dr. Rosenbaum's grimly humorous description of his own therapy: stripped of his civilian clothes; bound into an awkward position on the radiation god's altar, while its priests sprint out of the room. You are never more alone than in that treatment room. The radiation god manifests itself in a series of clunks and whirrs. You freeze into place, afraid that a single movement will cause the deadly beam to go astray and blind you or pierce your heart. After the exposure has taken place, you can never be certain if anything happened: if your cancerous flesh was actually attacked. Dr. Rosenbaum says:

"They tell me that I am being treated by X ray. X means unknown. I can't see, hear, taste, feel, or smell the X rays. I have no way of knowing if anything is happening or if the machine is working...The radiologist assures me that something will happen and asks me to have faith. Is he a priest?"

The author's primary physician is terse, sometimes unapproachable. He cancels appointments with Dr. Rosenbaum. When they do meet, the patient hides symptoms such as reddened skin from his doctor, afraid that he will be told he is dying.
Cancer changes all of his relationships. Some friends desert him. He is no longer the omnipotent physician. He is mortal, perhaps near death. They can't deal with that.

I read this autobiography in one sitting, fascinated by Dr. Rosenbaum's transformation from all-powerful physician to powerless, fearful patient, then back to physician again, but with the additional role of patient-advocate. Most of us choose to forget our experiences in the cancer ward, but this author courageously shares his year as a cancer patient with us.

Post Edited (Inchoation) : 2/1/2014 6:54:01 PM (GMT-7)

Doctors are meat mechanics. Diagnostic procedures, fault tree analysis, diagnosis by treatment (replace parts till it works, treat to see if things improve or worsen, etc.). No disrespect, just an observation of the problem-solving process.

Highly trained to be sure, skilled yes, but working on phenomenally complex meat machines with limited information.

They all have their own personalities too, and probably say things they later regret. Or, may not even realize it was inappropriate. I don't know..... I do a lot of research because I've never fully trusted a doctor. If they say something and it's reasonable compared to what I've found out elsewhere, then I'm ok with them. That's actually a GREAT aspect of this forum!

When my kid were little and the pediatrician prescribed something, I'd look it up in a Physician's Desk Reference (before the internet) to verify indications and dosage. Just wired that way, I guess.

Inkhorn, your point is so apt, that it needs to be repeated. Doctors practice medicine, Lawyers practice law and as a colleague of mine said once, air traffic controllers practice air traffic control. Maybe not so comforting, but as true as it gets. I now practice surfing. What they all have in common is that daily the unexpected and unplanned happens. No two situations are ever, ever the same and it takes practice to reach the pinnacle and the pinnacle is a infinite point, kinda like life itself…. Kudos to you for realizing that,...it is not that self evident in a paradigm of immediate gratification and litigation.

Stay:

So true. But, you know, in life sometimes we make mistakes and do stupid things.

This was VERY poor on the doctor's part. But, it happens. Personally, I would just shake my head and let it go.

If I knew for an absolute fact that this typefies this doctor's behavior, then I might pursue it. It might very well be a mistake and the doctor is quite upset with his actions.

Doctors are not gods.

I've seen enough cases of malpractice by reading HW. This doesn't rise to that level.

Mel

It is also possible that what the doc has told the patient is not what the patient is sharing. Some of us look very healthy to those who don't know, and some of us just are not of a mindset to share some of the pain and ugliness.

I find it impossible to share the worst things I know with even some best friends. They have enough issues in their lives to not need mine. They know I'll call only if I really need help, and they will help. Otherwise, besides the occasional polite exit to change clothes when a pad leaks, or seeing me stopped at a park bench instead of walking, they don't see evidence of the realities I know about.

My doc really is a good guy. He checks up. We go to the gun range together. He keeps up with PCa in general. I don't know if he would make such a comment. But I wouldn't throw him under a bus if he did.